The Vagrant (1992)

hyped garbage

Absolutely the worst movie.

If the ambition is to provide two hours of instantly forgettable, popcorn-munching escapism, it succeeds.

The thing I enjoyed most about the film is the fact that it doesn't shy away from being a super-sized-cliche;

This Bill Paxton vehicle has reached a very bizarre stage in it's pre-DVD days. And would you believe that? Almost 20 years later and the film still doesn't have a DVD release. Paxton, Ironside, a terrorizing vagrant...what the hell, man? If you're like me (which you most certainly are not since you can't do 29 3/4 pull-ups) then you stumbled upon this film. Well, not exactly a stumble either...more like a carefully executed stunt that ended up with you face-planting in comical fashion all rag-doll like. What I mean is, search for this movie's poster. You're looking at it, right? Well, the question is, were you blown away? If you were, keep reading as me and you, we're pals. If you're confused at why I asked you to look at The Vagrant poster, then you...simply don't have what it takes. Take a look in the mirror and shake your head. Now, kick rocks! The Vagrant is a Paxton-led film that has him acting like a total ninny nut through basically the entire duration of the film. But it's totally understandable; he has a disgusting monster of a hobo lurking around in and around his home. Paxton sees the vagrant in his dreams, in his house, and even banging his girl-friend. Paxton is slowly unraveling, people are dying, and even with the assistance of Ironside (who plays his character very well; his first scene he enters the room, picks his nose and flicks the booger) as a tough detective, the misfortune keeps adding up for poor old Paxton. Mystery, intrigue, extreme paranoia, a boob or two....it's all here.What we have here with this flick is a genuine, unique piece of creative early 90's film-making. The story, the characters, the music (which added a great touch to the film), the whole entire film packs a totally worthwhile movie for fans that enjoy a mix of black comedy with OTT performances and ideas. Honestly, all you really need to do is look at the poster for this movie and you'll know if you want to see the movie. For me, after taking a glimpse of it, it was like eating, it was totally necessary. And having the film revolve around a maniacal hobo....just see this movie.

This is the worst movie ever and no one should EVER watch it. I can't believe I wasted two hours of my life on this bucket of rat vomit. It's not thrilling, it's not funny; it's not so-bad-it's-funny; it's just BAD. Do NOT watch this stupid, stupid movie. The cardboard people and idiotic plot do not make for suspense, depth of character, or ironic tension. The pathetic attempts at humor involve facile sex jokes and Paxton's moronic paranoia. Also, at the end he attacks the vagrant with a coat rack. And there's something about a polaroid photograph. I can't remember very well, since I've tried my best to blot out any recollection of this garbage film from my memory banks.

There are good movies and there are bad movies, and then there are movies so delightfully skewed that the terms "good" and "bad" cease to apply. The Vagrant is of this last variety.Bill Paxton stars as Graham Krakowski, the epitome of young professionalism, who is buying his first home. On his first day in the new house (although "new" is a misnomer; the kitchen looks as if it was last updated around 1966), he walks in on a vagrant (Marshall Bell) hunched over the kitchen sink. Shortly after, he discovers the vagrant living on the vacant lot across the street. What follows is a paranoiac's nightmare; a hilariously twisted game of cat-and-mouse, with the vagrant testing the limits of Krakowski's sanity. The vagrant does such a good job of driving him crazy that nobody believes Krakowski when he insists the vagrant is out to get him. Especially skeptical is Michael Ironside, playing a dense-as-a-cement-block police lieutenant (with the unlikely name of Ralf Barfuss, no less). When Krakowski calls the police after finding the vagrant in his house eating a sandwich, Barfuss asks (with a sort of gleeful maliciousness), "And what kind of sandwich was this alleged man eating?" When the murders start, nobody listens to Krakowski, who is convinced the vagrant is to blame. Barfuss is dead-set on nailing Krakowski for the murders, and even Graham's best friend questions his sanity. This is the first horror movie I've watched where I was sure everything I was laughing at was actually intended to be funny. I knew I was having fun about 15 minutes into the movie, when the following exchange took place -KRAKOWSKI: Quick, I think he(the vagrant)'s getting ready to urinate!COP 1: Should we call for back-up?COP 2: There's no time!The Vagrant moves along at a pretty good clip, and the story, particularly the second half, plays out like one of the more surreal episodes of Tales from the Crypt. The balance between horror and comedy is a bit uneven, bordering on the ridiculously stupid at times, but still enjoyable. Michael Ironside is great in a rare comedic performance (although a larger role would have been nice); Marshall Bell's vagrant is an over-the-top boogyman who jumps out periodically to scare Bill Paxton; and it's just plain FUN watching Paxton degenerate from an uptight, neurotic yuppie to a scruffy, gun-toting trailer-park manager.B+ if you're a fan of tongue-in-cheek horror-comedy or the main stars;C- (or less) if you're a cinematic snob.

The Vagrant tells the story of Graham Krackowski (the always magnificent Paxton), who moves into his new home only to be terrorized by an unruly homeless vagrant that lives across the street in an abandon lot. That's it, but that is all this film needs because Paxton, director Chris Wallas, and the rest of the cast turn a simple plot into a memorable laugh-scare fest. And like most film buffs would agree, finding the right mix of horror and comedy is not easy to do, and even when it is done, it's hardly ever done right. Not in this case however...A subplot deals with Paxton up for a promotion at his suit-wearing executive job, as well as his girlfriend flying into town for a visit. With just the right amount of time spent on each to add to the story, the focus remains however on Paxton and his unwanted guest.What begins as simply an inconvenience to him, escalates into an all out war of head games, wit, and eventually murder, with Paxton losing his girl, his job, and untimately his mind in the process. But what makes the story truly compelling, is that the audience is left in limbo throughout most of the film as to if all the happenings are indeed caused by the vagrant or by Paxton himself?Now I'm not one to spoil a good whodunit, so I will leave that rock unturned for those who haven't had the privilege of seeing this little charmer. Because when it is all said and done, the ending has more than a few surprises.So don't be left out in the cold like our antagonist, and rent this wacky masterpiece before its too late. And remember, if you ever find a book on the toilet of the house you are looking to purchase, think twice...