Slender Man (2018)

Sick Product of a Sick System

It’s sentimental, ridiculously long and only occasionally funny

A great movie, one of the best of this year. There was a bit of confusion at one point in the plot, but nothing serious.

A terrific literary drama and character piece that shows how the process of creating art can be seen differently by those doing it and those looking at it from the outside.

As a young adult I remember a few years back about the whole Slender Man story and how his images were shown on YouTube videos and there was even a game that you could download that was about slender man, which made me wanna see this movie even more, I was so disappointed how slow the movie started because right then and there I knew this was not gonna be a box office hit, the movie must've have more boring than I thought because there were young adults behind me laughing and making jokes, and at the end of the movie, they had no problem obnoxiously saying, "That movie sucked!" I give this movie a 2/10 just because I like that they tried, and I know if a better director and story writer were put behind this movie, it would've done better, I do believe the story of slender man in general has potential but this movie had no story.

The movie doesn't make sense at times, likely due to editing to get to PG-13 from R. The performances suffer due to poor direction and editing. It's boring and bland. At many points it seems that you're watching a student film due to laughable effects, editing, and plot points.

Literally THE worst 'horror' experience I've had across every medium. The acting is terrible, the 'scares' are hardly scary, and the characters are so unrelatable and easy to dislike that I spent most of the movie rooting for their deaths. The script is so poorly written and the story is unbelievably cliche and dull. The ending was quite depressing, which wasn't a problem for me as I usually enjoy that sort of thing, but it was terribly done and incredibly unsatisfying. The formula for every jumpscare is the exact same so you always know when one is coming, which takes the fun out of it, not to mention a majority of them are just fakeouts to supposedly get you prepped for the 'REAL' scares, which are stupidly tame. There are no truly unexpected scares. The titular antagonist is only on screen for about a minute throughout the duration of the entire film, and his portrayal isn't even that frightening. Every scary scene has way too much buildup and not enough bang, although it does get slightly creepier within the last 10-15 minutes, but even then it isn't worth suffering through the rest of the film. I scare quite easily, but even watching it on a huge screen in a dark theater I wasn't scared in the slightest. Honestly, I could not stop laughing at how stupid the characters and their choices were and and how unscary the movie really was. I had read plenty of bad reviews and even from trailers I could tell this would be terrible, but it far exceeded my expectations. An outstanding experience if you like to roll your eyes and laugh at bad movies, but if you're looking for something genuinely scary and interesting, this ain't it chief.

I really don't know what to say. Acting was wooden and stilted as hell. Only memorable parts of the soundtrack were the many sudden piano sounds and other cliché (DUN!!!) jumspcare noises that played over everything. EVERYTHING. Even things that aren't scary (Example: There's a scene where a librarian walks past the screen and apprently it's supposed to scare you as evidenced by the sound cue, but the problem is: she's not doing or saying anything scary. She just walks past looking like she's lost. Like how was that scary????). That's just about the only thing I can even recall as the story and dialogue were easily the most forgettable part of the whole movie. Actually, there almost IS NO STORY. All I remember is that 4 girls in high school summon Slenderman by going onto some forum or chat room and clicking on a link to a video that makes Slenderman come after you after watching it (which is already stupid on it's own, by the way. If that's all you had to do to get him to come get you, wouldn't the whole world be dead already?). After that, things just happen with no rhyme or reason and with no real consistency. Sometimes Slenderman decides to take victims immediately, sometimes he decides to let victims get away even when he has no reason to and the perfect opportunity to just take them. Slenderman himself looks like a poorly rendered Playstation 1 game model. They actually had an actor play as him? When??? He looks like he was built completely from scratch in CGI but done in like 2 minutes. Way too much CGI and way too lazily done! I'd also just like to point out that some of the best scenes from the trailer are NOWHERE in the movie. Like the eyeball stabbing or the guy throwing himself off the roof or the cops finding that pale girl in a field holding something in her hands. The most interesting parts of the trailer: completely cut from the film. Overall, I was really hoping for this to turn out good, but then again, this was made by Sony. So I really should have seen this coming the second it was first announced. If you're wiiling to basically turn your brain off for an hour and half and you're VERY easily scared, you might like this. But me? I'm gonna go re-play some of the awesome Slender games like The Eight Pages, Sanitorium, and The Arrival and just forget this ever existed. Leave it to Sony to make disappointing half-assed cash-ins on whatever is or was trendy. :(