Transporter 2 (2005)

Strong and Moving!

A Disappointing Continuation

a film so unique, intoxicating and bizarre that it not only demands another viewing, but is also forgivable as a satirical comedy where the jokes eventually take the back seat.

It’s not bad or unwatchable but despite the amplitude of the spectacle, the end result is underwhelming.

Frank the transporter (Jason Statham) has a cushy job ferrying an irritating rich kid to school and back, but when criminal mastermind Chellini (Alessandro Gassman) decides to abduct the boy, the ex-special forces driver goes to the rescue, uncovering a devious plot to kill a room full of top politicians.I really enjoyed the first Transporter movie: it had just the right level of craziness to the action scenes and Statham played his part to perfection, his grim seriousness counteracting some of the more absurd moments. This sequel, however, verges on Crank territory (gack!), with its attempts to outdo the first film making it absurd in the extreme.As Frank attempts to locate the antidote for a virus that has been injected into the kidnapped kid by the film's loathsome villains, he performs countless superhuman feats that make one wonder whether he is secretly a member of the X-Men. Whether leaping a vehicle from one building to another, flipping a car to detach a bomb from its underside, or surviving a headlong jet plane crash into the sea, Frank is clearly indestructible. It's all several steps too far, sapping the film of any genuine excitement.

While the first "Transporter" movie was a bit more on the corny side. This one isn't as corny but it's more over the top when it comes to the story and action. When it comes to the direction and story it doesn't make more sense than the first one. The characters actions and decisions just doesn't make any sense at all in this. It's like the bad guys are doing their best to keep the protagonist alive, by trying not to kill him although they are trying to kill him (If that makes sense). And I am not sure if it was intentional or not to add to the wackiness, but the special effects is just downright awful in this. Especially the plane scene. Overall, this is a alright rental.5.8/10

Okay, so now the transporter has super human powers. Forget Superman, forget vampires, the transporter can fly out tall buildings, land hard enough on a car to smash the roof and still walk away with not even a scratch. (And all because, hey, he was in special forces. LOL) And not only is he super human but everybody in this movie has kicks that can send people flying across the room. Besides the obviously stupidity of having normal people with such power, even more insane is when they just get up from said kick like they hadn't been hit at all. And maybe most laughable is a car that is able to jump from one parking garage to another AFTER crashing through a concrete wall! And you people think that is good writing?? Oh, and why would such a super human person with magical driving skills, such skills that they can make the car leap and do a 360 midair and rip off a bomb underneath, just sit there when the laser is on the boy? PLEASE, one fraction of a second in reverse and the shooter would never be able to get a fix on the target in real life. Or, I don't know, the boy could have just ducked down. What a joke!

The one thing that stands out to me in this movie is that there is a character (one of the baddies) that seems to have a serious allergic reaction to wearing clothes. At first I thought it was weird because it seemed that during a gun fight she would steadily remove items of clothing until such a time that she was only wearing her underwear, however it became clear that unless she was disguising herself as something, she simply walked around in her underwear, with her gun holsters strapped to her. Needless to say I actually found this character to be incredibly annoying and off putting – and it wasn't as if she was even attractive.Anyway, Stratham has come to Miami to help out of friend, and for some reason this French police officer has decided to come over as well (though I didn't actually think they were friends, just a couple of guys that seemed to always run into each other), however he spends his entire holiday stuck in a police station, because at first he is a arrested, and when they discover that he is a police officer (and innocent) they still don't let him go – nice vacation in Miami.As for Stratham, this time he is transporting a kid, but the kids gets kidnapped, but then halfway through the movie they release him, but the movie hasn't ended yet, because the movie is only halfway finished, which means that something else must happen. It does, Stratham drives a Mazarrati around Miami (or some other sports car) chasing a helicopter (and catches up with it), and then fights the bad guy on the plane (after dealing with Miss Underwear), and the crashes the plane into the ocean – and then the movie ends.Why, oh why, did I end up spending money on this trilogy. I am seriously not going to ever see that money again.