Kidnapping Mr. Heineken (2015)

Touches You

Too much of everything

Let's be realistic.

A movie that not only functions as a solid scarefest but a razor-sharp satire.

Critics were after this one. It's true that doesn't do anything great. But it manages to do almost everything "ok". Maybe the biggest problem is that it looks lazy, because they don't bring anything really great in any aspect. It lacks a bit of strenght on the emotion, witts on the dialogue, intelligence on the plot... etc. But is not bad

This film is based on such a bizarre crime, that it almost seems unreal. 'Kidnapping Mr. Heineken' or 'Kidnapping Freddy Heineken' as it's known in some foreign markets is the true life story of a group of friends who decide to kidnap the owner of Heineken Beer and force a ransom for millions of dollars. This crime actually happened back in the early 80s in the Netherlands.It's a decent enough story, however director Daniel Alfredson never brings any of the characters to life, nor does the story have any real intent other than just showing what happened, before abruptly ending after the last person was arrested. Alfredson is a great director too. His resume includes a couple of the original versions of 'The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo' series where his younger brother Thomas directed the original 'Let The Right One In' film as well as 'Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy'.So off the bat, Daniel nor his brother Thomas are exactly lightweights. But with 'Kidnapping Mr. Heineken', Alfredson really only wanted to show the actual events with no depth whatsoever. The cast is solid as well with Sir Anthony Hopkins being chained and confined to a cell through most of the film as he plays Mr. Heineken. His kidnappers are played by Jim Sturgess ('Across the Universe'), Sam Worthington ('Avatar'), Ryan Kwanten ('True Blood'), amongst a couple others.This group of friends seem to be paid be some unknown person to evict and literally throw out squatters living in condemned housing. But these guys want more money and decide to kidnap the wealthiest person for a big ransom. That lucky person is Freddy Heineken of the beer company of the same name. They want to come across as professionals, which they are anything but, so they rob a bank to secure financing to build a sound proof room to make it look like an organized crime outfit executed this job.I'm sure you already know the outcome or can read it about it in a number of books, but was it worth making a film about? While the answer may be "yes", there needs to be some sort of depth to the characters other than that one of their girlfriend's is pregnant. Beyond that aspect, each kidnapper might as well be the same exact person. There just isn't much to work with, which is a shame. Sir Anthony Hopkins turns in a great performance, but is on screen for only a few minutes, and doesn't give us time to connect or sympathize with him whatsoever. At the very end of the film, which ends abruptly, there are title cards for each character of what eventually happened with them. The two lead kidnappers went to prison for a decade, but upon being released became the leaders of the biggest and most vicious mafias in the Netherlands.This would have made for such a better movie to see their rise to power with this kidnapping starting the entire reign of terror. Why they didn't make that, I'll never know. But as this film goes, 'Kidnapping Mr. Heineken' doesn't amount to much other than watching a few people kidnap a wealthy person and struggle with whether or not to release him or wait for the ransom money.

All the best cast were there. Frankly we came for their names. All characters were well built but struggling through a series of events that so less actions, so less thrill creating by so long the wait between two moments of 'ok, what's now'. Such a waste of an excellent story. I came to watch the movie by noon. Maybe that's the reason why the color, the ambiance created by the movie literally, easily bored me to fast asleep. To be fair, it could have been better off for another time of the day I suppose. My condolences to all leading actors for their huge waste of time. Hope this doesn't affect their otherwise excellent up&coming career.

How a crime drama with such good cast can be so dull is borderline a crime. The actors are good, but the characters they play have the personality of barren unsympathetic schmucks. The screenplay and conversation are dry, primarily dabbling in curses and complaints for nearly the entire movie. While there are clearly a couple of good moments by the actors, they are too few to sustain interest for the rest of boring banters.Kidnapping Mr. Heineken is exactly what it advertises, the story of five men who are down on their luck and decide to snatch a billionaire in hope for monetary gain. It's amazing that none of these five character is even close to being relatable. The movie tries to depicts individuals who are pushed to do illegal things, yet they are all manipulative, aggressive and severely lacking empathy.At latter half they are even interchangeable since everyone has a knack for whining, in exception of Sam Worthington's character who surprises audience with poor and crazy decisions. Probably the best decision the movie did was to put Anthony Hopkins as Heineken in a box and let him do a few monologues. Still, there is no tangible connection between Heineken and the kidnappers, there's not even connection between the kidnappers. When the movie tries to pull friendship theme, it only makes things more awkward.For action crime, one would expect an intelligent plot, perhaps major twists and thought out plans. There's a barely any level of sophistication here as five of them partially wing it and hope for the best. In fact, most of the times they are just fooling around, laughing annoyingly and verbally abusing each other.The film offers the shallow sense of helplessness and uneasiness as audience watch five aversive men threatening an old man for money and bicker with each other.