Jonah Hex (2010)

Memorable, crazy movie

I don't have all the words right now but this film is a work of art.

As Good As It Gets

It's funny, it's tense, it features two great performances from two actors and the director expertly creates a web of odd tension where you actually don't know what is happening for the majority of the run time.

Jonah Hex is in the history books as one of the biggest flops in movie history, not only did it bomb financially but it was connected to a whole host of negative awards such as worst actor, worst actress, worst on screen couple and worst movie.But how do you make a movie that stars Josh Brolin, John Malkovich, Michael Shannon and co bad?! Well, this is how.I think what is even more surprising is that this is a DC effort, and may we never see Jonah somehow added to the universe they are creating.Jonah Hex tells the tale of the titular character on a quest for revenge after a man murderers his family and mutilates his face. He becomes a bounty hunter, righting wrongs and hunting the man who took everything from him.The cast is solid, in fact the cast is so solid that even Megan Fox delivered a decent performance (I don't understand the criticism of her accent) and Fassbender (Who I can't stand) actually was entertaining here.;So what went wrong? Primarily because it's copy and paste predictible brainless Hollywood nonsense. It's like there is a template that people use and just interchange the setting and characters.It's not THAT bad, but it's a generic paint by numbers dumb movie that is too violent for kids and too moronic for adults.The Good:Fassbender's was excellentThe Bad:Megan FoxContains one of the dumbest movie deaths of all timeThe whole thing is just so very bog standardThings I Learnt From This Movie:I want me some of those explosive crossbows!Megan Fox isn't entirely useless, just 98.5%

"Jonah Hex" stars Josh Brolin as the titular character whose a rather disfigured bounty hunter in the Old West of the late 19th century. He is grizzled, worn-down and expressionless with a knack of hunting down anyone and often succeeds. Having stare in the face of death and jumping over the hurdles, his status is virtually untouchable. Hex has the ability to interact with the living and with the deceased. A natural lone wolf, Hex's only human companion is an equally down-trodden young lady named Lily (Megan Fox) who's time spent in a brothel has left her in a woeful disposition. Hex's past is starting to tap on his shoulders as the US Military persuades him into some negotiation deals he just can't say no to. Rather be fined on many warrants placed upon him, he must take down an evil Confederate soldier named General Quentin Turnbull (John Malkovich) who takes complete responsibility for the annihilation of his entire family and destroying his face with the help of a branding iron. Turnbull is joined by a platoon of fellow soldier to join the party and the party won't be over until Hex is worm chow. Based on iconic superhero character off of DC comics, "Jonah Hex" is a lone man's journey to get vengeance in an epic battle of good against evil. I knew walking into the theatres I had low expectations. However this movie took me by surprise. This movie sunk to the lowest denominator as one of the worst superhero adapted film ever made. In fact I never thought I'd live this day to ever utter such words, but the 2004 travesty "Catwoman" was actually better than this bucket of slop. Sure it's a simple done to death story of a perpetually scarred Confederate soldier settling the score against a tyrannical general after the merciless murder of his wife and son. The culprit is a fellow Confederate soldier who also wants Hex to pay for the murder of his own son during the infamous Civil War. Cut to ten years later in 1876, the centennial year of America's existence, Turnbull has conjured up a destructive weapon that will eradicate the entire United States. Oh God! Help me out please!Where to begin? This movie is truly awful I almost did an unlikely thing by walking out. It was that bad. The performances were some of the absolute worst even from the performers I usually praise. Josh Brolin's complexion looks contrived and superficial and his backstory has been done to death. John Malkovich what were you thinking? You're one of the best performers in our industry and you chose this movie over other movies you could have been in. I'm surprised at you. And as for you Megan Fox, please leave Hollywood to the actors because you are not one of them. You may have a pretty face to bad acting talents don't come with the package. What really kept me from leaving the theatre was that this movie was 80 minutes long.I won't go over any elaborate details here, but in a nutshell, "Jonah Hex" was an absolute abomination. And though the character was taken out of a comic book, the audience would never think it through because it was quite unconvincing. At least Jonah Hex isn't sporting spandex tights and a cape. It's already a travesty without the BS. "Mystery Science Theater 3000" would have fun grilling this awful turd.

Once again DC Comics took another try with one of their comic book characters and give them their own motion picture.This time however we get Jonah Hex a character I never knew existed in the DC world because all I knew were Batman, Superman and others After watching this movie now I know why I haven't heard of Jonah Hex.But from what I have learn from both the movie and research on the comic character himself is that he's a western comic book anti-heroHex is a surly and cynical bounty hunter whose face is horribly scarred on the right side. Despite his poor reputation and personality, Hex is bound by a personal code of honor to protect and avenge the innocent.Now the movie has Josh Brolin playing the part of Jonah Hex and some praise his performance and thought he was the right actor for the role, I will have to agree he did a good job as the anti-hero of the film. He has a woman who works as a call girl Lilah played by Megan Fox.At the time I watch this movie it was because Megan Fox was in it and she did have some fair acting in the film as well as having a clever girl moment in the film. The film's main antagonist is Quentin Turnbull played by John Malkovich and he is a sick monster in the film and John deliver an twisted performance in the film. But the performance is not the three main cast members who give some good performance in the film the film's problem is the film itself it has too many dark scenes and graphic to boot, there also scenes that prove to be too intense for movie goersAnd I don't know how many know of Jonah Hex it's one of those characters you either know about or don't know about either way this film will not make you a fan of Jonah Hex because the script feels plain as the best word I can give it. Jonah Hex also has some powers like he can bring the dead back to life for just a few moments to gain informationIt's just hard to take this film even seriously, it just feels broken like they wanted to make a movie just to get a paycheck and to bring in on Megan's success in the "Transformers" filmsOverall the film is still graphic and hard to even consider serious but Josh, John and Megan performances are the only thing worth left to say about this film.I give Jonah Hex an 5 out of 10

I wanted to love this movie, I really did. But it is such a mess that I can barely even find some kind of silver lining in it. I am a huge fan of the character of Jonah Hex, not only because he is a badass cowboy, but I have always found him intriguing whether it'd be in a cartoon or comic. Yet this movie takes the character and just f***s everything up. Okay, to cut the movie some slack, Josh Brolin does a decent job as Jonah. But the script is so off that he doesn't get to give the perfect Jonah hex performance I thought he would. But overall he is decent. It is also a western which is my favorite overall genre of movies. And while the soundtrack doesn't fit too well, the songs by metal band Mastodon aren't too bad. Now to the stuff that is bad; EVERYTHING ELSE! I am sorry, but everything in this movie (that wasn't mentioned in the previous paragraph) is complete s***. I can't find anything good in this movie and therefore this movie pisses me off. I do not recommend this movie. It sucks. Stay away!