The Fantastic Four (1994)

In truth, there is barely enough story here to make a film.

As somebody who had not heard any of this before, it became a curious phenomenon to sit and watch a film and slowly have the realities begin to click into place.

Easily the biggest piece of Right wing non sense propaganda I ever saw.

The thing I enjoyed most about the film is the fact that it doesn't shy away from being a super-sized-cliche;

This movie, though terrible, is actually not that bad. Its pretty funny, and there was some effort put into it. I'd recommend watching it, mainly as a joke.Audio - Though the sound design is absolutely terrible. Whoever was in charge of music clearly put in an effort, because the score is great. Too bad its accompanied by terrible sound mixing and a ridiculous amount of echoing. Visuals - Though the camera quality and effects are terrible, some of the camerawork is pretty good. If you manage to get to the end, you might notice that even the credits are slightly blurred, which is maybe the funniest thing about this movie. Plot - The plot, though a bit scattered and sloppily executed isn't that bad. The script isn't great, but there are a few lines that are actually pretty good. Characters - Most of the comedy to be found in this movie is in the bad acting. The characters aren't written that well, and most of the actors clearly didn't care. Some of the actors seem to be really into their roles and that just makes it all the more funny.

In light of what's come since, this low budget effort is absolutely brilliant by virtue of a single virtue: it's true to the SPIRIT of the comic book, something that not one of the three subsequent Big Budget knockoffs managed to achieve. Had THESE guys had the kind of money the lesser filmmakers had, we'd no doubt be talking Classic. (This version boasts by FAR the best Ben Grimm we've seen to date, and the articulation of his mask alone makes it worth seeing.) The first 30 minutes or so could've benefited from some reworking, but, otherwise, this one's the one to see if you want to see THE FANTASTIC FOUR. (Many scenes are shot in semi-darkness, for obvious- budgetary- reasons, but, again, these guys weren't working with hundreds of millions of dollars.) It's not all smooth sailing, to be sure, but until somebody comes along with something better, this one'll do.

Off course it is not a good film, but it is far from the catastrophe I expected about a movie famous for being created not to be released (although the actors did not know that).Is it naive and simplistic, but not more than many films that have a much higher budget and are seen in theaters. Victor Von Doom is really ridiculous, so are some romantic scenes, but not all the film is as bad.The Thing is visually nice, the special effects are campy but not disgusting, the Jeweler is somewhat a representative of a kind of villain which belonged to the previous decade (to the 80's). Not that important, but I'd also shall mention that Susan Storm here (Rebecca Staab) is more beautiful than Jessica Alba (when they are not invisible...).

Reed Richards (Alex Hyde-White) and Victor Von Doom (Joseph Culp) are University friends who decide, with the arrival of comet Colossus imminent, it is the perfect time to try their long-planned experiment. Naturally, things go wrong and it appears that Von Doom is killed in the accident. Years later, Richards and his friend Ben Grimm (Michael Bailey Smith) venture into space as the same comet passes again, this time with their old friends Sue (Rebecca Staab) and Johnny Storm (Jay Underwood). Again, things go wrong, as the diamond that was going to be used in the experiment has been stolen and swapped by a thief, and the four crash back to Earth with new superpowers.Well, where to start? The fact that this film is still unavailable practically anywhere (it was even ignored in the obligatory cash-in release when the big-budget 2005 version hit the theatres) speaks volumes about its quality. Stan Lee admitted that the film was never intended for release, and that the film was only made due to the fact that their rights to make a film were running out. And so we have this colossally and diabolically awful s**t-stain of an excuse of a movie, utterly amateurish in every imaginable way. It's a film that the Sci-Fi (sorry, Sy Fy) channel would be proud of (or not).The main distraction is the ridiculous sub-plot, which has The Jeweller (Ian Trigger), the thief of the diamond (which he just walks in and picks it up, by the way), kidnap a blind sculptor who after a 10-second meeting with a pre-Thing Grimm, falls in love with him. It's one of those what-the-f**k moments that causes you to wonder where the script- writers got the crack they've obviously been smoking from. It constantly takes the action away from the Four and makes the film all the more tedious. And it's the most laughable use of a blind female sculptor since Lionel Ritchie's music video for Hello.The film is full of these moments, really. One that stuck with me the most was how Reed and Grimm, preparing for their trip into space, simply drop by the Storm's to ask them if they'd like to, y'know, come up into space. Not that it needs any training or anything. The Four themselves (with the exception of The Thing), once transformed are really quite awful. If you've ever seen Master of the Flying Guillotine (1976) and the guy with the extendible arms in that, then you'll have an idea about Reed's power. If you've not, then I'll tell you, it looks s**t. The Human Torch actually turns into a strange cartoon-computer effect hybrid at one point as if the film-makers just couldn't be a***d anymore, and the invisible one (whatever she's called), well, can't be seen, so they get away with it. The effects guys must have put all their money into the Thing's costume as it's actually quite good.Apart from the Thing's costume, I fail to think of anything remotely good or even average about this film. It's just awful. Dr. Doom's costume is so amateurish, he looks like an S&M-loving, gay Robin Hood hybrid. And you can't tell what he's saying half the time. Shame on you, Roger Corman. But saying that, the 1994 film is no less heartless or emotionless as the 2005 version, which was only slightly rescued by a big budget and a good performance by Chris Evans. Apart from that, also very s**t.