Conan the Destroyer (1984)

Very interesting film. Was caught on the premise when seeing the trailer but unsure as to what the outcome would be for the showing. As it turns out, it was a very good film.

Fanciful, disturbing, and wildly original, it announces the arrival of a fresh, bold voice in American cinema.

The movie's neither hopeful in contrived ways, nor hopeless in different contrived ways. Somehow it manages to be wonderful

This is one of the best movies I’ve seen in a very long time. You have to go and see this on the big screen.

As someone who personally just found the original "Conan The Barbarian" film to just be mediocre, I didn't have high hopes for this film. It's probably because it's poorly paced and doesn't have interesting characters. The plot is that Conan is sent by an evil queen on some mission to resurrect his dead lover. He realizes he's being tricked and they're going to sacrifice her niece. Apparently, Wilt Chamberlain played a woman in this movie. Why don't they have a thumbnail image for him on this website? It's a really dumb casting choice. There's this one guy who's also really obnoxious and he reminded me of Rob Schneider.There actually is an interesting bit at the end where a sea monster god appears. What's fascinating is that the creator of "Conan The Barbarian" was friends with the creator of the Cthulhu mythos. They subtly referenced each other in their works. I'm wondering if the sea monster god that appears is supposed to be one of the creatures from the Cthulhu mythos. I so missed James Earl Jones from the last movie as this new villain was nowhere near as entertaining. Oh and happy tenth anniversary, Nostalgia Critic! I'm celebrating you by reviewing films you have already reviewed! *1/2

Continuing my plan to watch every Arnold Schwarzenegger movie in order, I come to 1985's Conan The Destroyer.Plot In A Paragraph: Conan.As a kid, I was Universal Studio's target audience for this movie. I loved the hell out of this movie as I kid, and I don't mind admitting at the time, I loved this one more, than the first movie. The comedy was a welcome relief, and the lack of blood never bothered me. I was also of the opinion that the first movies, where the characters were introduced and established were always duller affairs, and the sequels were better. I am ashamed to admit two of my favourite movies Rocky and Jaws fell in to that category back then. What did I know?? I still wasn't 10. Some of Arnie's acting is very improved here, however at times it's still awful. Grace Jones is just Grace Jones in a Conan movie. Olivia D'Abo is stunning, and does well in her first movie, it's no surprise that she had worked steadily through the years. I'm not sure as to why the same never happened to Wilt Chamberlain as he certainly wasn't bad. Sarah Douglas is OK hamming it up, Mako is OK too. Basil Poledouris score is catchier this time around too. Richard Fleischer does an adequate job of directing too. In his autobiography Total Recall, Arnie talks about how Universal had E.T on the brain, and were adamant that if Conan The Barbarian was rated PG, they would have sold 50 percent more tickets. John Milius wasn't around anymore, so Universal executives were very hands on. Arnie argued and argued against making a PG Conan. Money talks, and he was still under contract from the first movie (A ten year contract making a Conan every two years) so in his words he was "Stuck with it." That didn't stop him going all out promoting the first movie he received $1,million dollars for. He says he went on every TV show that would book him, and pestered his publicists to line up more appearances and interviews. Conan The Destroyer grossed $31 million at the domestic Box Office, by alienating the core audience, it was not the success Arnie wanted it to be or Universal expected it to be. It ended the year the 27th highest grossing movie of the year. A step back for Arnie, but it did out perform Sly's Rhinestone. The first time an Arnie movie out grossed a Sly one.

Conan the Destroyer is not a perfect 10 i give you that but it's still miles better than the 2011 garbage remake. The new cast is pretty fine but i kinda hated/loved Conan's new sidekick he was kinda annoying at times although Grace Jones was fantastic. My favorite scene is the one with the mirrors where Conan fights the Wizard pure epicness and the soundtrack was fantastic. This film got a PG-13 Rating and it was supposed to be the 2nd out of the 5 Conan movies but thanks to the poor box office and reviews the film flopped so 3,4 and 5 never happened. Is Conan 2 worth watching? Yes. Will you enjoy it as much as Conan the Barbarian? Well i don't know but it's still a cool movie and you should definitely watch it.

I never was much a fan of the original film "Conan the Barbarian", but director Richard Fleischer's ramshackle sequel while not as epic or grand in structure somewhat appealed to me more. In a way it was a lot more enjoyable with fewer pretensions. I guess it was more so the fantasy angle of its story (magic & sorcery), amusing side-characters (which I can see why some find these ragtag characters led by Tracy Walter irritating) and it seemed to flow much better. However while I found the pacing not to be as stodgy… it just lacked the episodic adventures with its straight-forward story-telling and obvious plotting. Therefore it felt rushed and in the end doesn't really build up to much. Save from a couple of set-pieces of Conan taking on a wizard or two and then finally a mythical beast. Although gotta love the use of the practical special effects and make-up FX. You know rubber monster designs, smoke effects and blatant, if colourful set-designs. No illusions here. Then there's the carnage, and just like "Barbarian", "Destroyer" doesn't skip out on the blood and gore that Conan's sword unleashes. Arnold Schwarzenegger in his signature role plays Conan like his on cruise control. Mixing combat and humour with very little effort. He was born for the part. The support cast had some names with Mako the other only cast member to return. Wilt Chamberlain, Sarah Douglas, Olivia d'Abo and a very animalistic Grace Jones make up a strong line-up. Clunky, but fun 80s sword and sorcery pulp."Thief's should be hanged."