Crank: High Voltage (2009)

Good concept, poorly executed.

Fun premise, good actors, bad writing. This film seemed to have potential at the beginning but it quickly devolves into a trite action film. Ultimately it's very boring.

This is a dark and sometimes deeply uncomfortable drama

Through painfully honest and emotional moments, the movie becomes irresistibly relatable

After falling a mile from a helicopter at the end of 'Crank' it looked as if Chev Chelios was finally dead but as this sequel opens we see a group of Chinese gangsters scraping him off the road and taking him away. It turns out he is not dead… yet. The Triads want his superior organs for illegal transplants. They take his heart and give him a battery powered replacement. When he wakes up three months later he decides to get his own heart back. The battery back for his new heart is quickly broken so he must keep finding ways to charge the heart's internal 'one hour' battery. He must also confront a wide variety threats; these include Chinese gangsters, Mexican gangsters and the police. He also bumps into his old girlfriend, Eve, and Venus, the brother of his late friend Kaylo. While Chelios is searching for his heart gangsters are searching for him to get their revenge for what he did in the first film.If you didn't enjoy the first film you will hate this as it is basically the same but even more exaggerated; there is lots of gratuitous violence, lots of gratuitous swearing, a fair amount of gratuitous nudity and a gratuitous sex scene on a race track which takes place during a horse race in front of hundreds of spectators… that is a lot of gratuitous goings on but if you aren't offended it is pretty funny. Jason Statham is great as Chelios; he might not be a great actor but when it comes to this sort of role there aren't many people as good as him. Amy Smart is pretty solid as Eve and Bai Ling is funny as Ria, a prostitute Chelios saves leading to her following him from then on. The rest of the cast are fairly forgettable but good enough. The action is exciting in an over the top way and there were plenty of laugh out loud moments… more than some comedies. The ways he finds to recharge his battery are imaginative and often pretty funny. Overall I'd say that this isn't for the easily offended but if you are looking for over-the-top action with plenty of laughs you could do much worse.

This was equally as good as the first Crank, although in saying that you've also then seen it all before so it loses some of its uniqueness and crazy charm.Anyways, its another adrenaline filled hot mess, with indestructible hit man Chev Chelios trying to find the Chinese Gangster who harvested his heart. He's been outfitted with an electronic one that requires a blast of electricity to keep pumping as he again wreaks havoc on LA in his quest.All the faces from the original return (in very clever ways) as well as Bai Ling who was just freakin' nuts but very in tune with the whole vibe. There was a lot of gratuitous T&A this time around and a couple scenes I actually had to turn away from (slicing off of elbows and nipples) We also get a redeux of the public sex scene, this time at the race track and it was just hilarious.I love the way this is filmed, all choppy and random. I may have seen it all before but I'd watch another one of these movies. The outtakes during the credits are very funny too. 01.15.14

Crank was taken place around 24 hours in the life of Chev Chelios (Jason Statham), a hit-man injected with a deadly poison. Crank film ended with Chev jumping parachute-free out of a plane, and landing face first on a street corner. Since these aren't reality, he is still very much alive, as we have saw in a blink of his eyes. Crank: High Voltage picks up with Chinese mobsters shoveling up Chelios, whisking him away, replacing his still beating heart with a battery-operated ticker that requires regular shots of electricity to keep Chev alive.Having the opening scene set, what follows is a more crazier, energetic but less entertaining 90-minute chase as Chelios faces a race against time to find his energy fuel and re-introduce the organ to his chest. Having read several critics reviews, it seems that many people would agree that Crank was better, though Crank: High Voltage does have its advantages. What I did not like too much about High Voltage is the introduction to several new characters. The film is several minutes longer so this would mean we are left with less Chev screen time. As opposed to Crank, Chelios is in near every scene, and he is great. In High Voltage, this isn't the case, and although his character is the same, Statham appears to look rather bored. Having it now being 5 years since Crank: High Voltage, the sake of a sequel does not look bright.

You would have to be high to remotely like Crank: High Voltage.Watching this movie was more of a chore than any kind of entertainment. I would have never, ever seen this movie if not for the absolutely hilarious podcast: How Did This Get Made. And that was the chore…I set for myself: watch or re-watch all the films they covered during the years of their podcasting.Despite being a HUGE Jason Statham fan, the second part 1 ended and the trailers were released for this, I was out. Spoiler alert for those who haven't seen the first terrible movie of this series: Chev "Cheerios" Chelios falls to his death from more than a thousand or two feet at the ending of 2006's Crank. This movie opens with him, I guess, bouncing?, and the doctors who give him an artificial heart with a catch.Backing up. This may be in the same and insane realm they created in the first episode, but it isn't Friday the 13th. This man died. Replacing his heart would not change that. So, basically, I was tuned out from minute one.At any rate, Cheerios needs to continuously charge this artificial heart until his previously adrenaline-deprived heart is back in place.Much like the first one, I will repeat what I wrote there: The entire movie is a blended video game, rave home video, a live-action anime cartoon, obscene music video and snuff film. The only difference is, it's twice as crazy this time around, if that's possible. And the concept and the lunacy had overstepped its welcome by minute two.Truthfully, I just prayed to get to the ending as quickly as possible so I could listen to the How Did This Get Made podcast. Unfortunately, it was not one where they ridiculed it; it was one of the rare shows they relished in this crap.That's not really fair to people that like this kind of movie. More power to you if you did. Maybe it's because I don't play video games, attend raves, hate anime, like grounded music videos and never once seen a snuff film.* * * Final thoughts: I know the world is calling for a Crank 3. No doubt the boys (and girl) at How Did This Get Made will review it on their show. I guarantee I will both miss the movie and that episode. I can't take this idiocracy any further.