All the Boys Love Mandy Lane (2007)

Good movie, but best of all time? Hardly . . .

Fantastic!

An Exercise In Nonsense

The best films of this genre always show a path and provide a takeaway for being a better person.

Famous for its circuitous route to a wide theater release (it made its film festival premiere in 2006 but didn't debut in theaters until 2013), 'Mandy Lane' became stale before it ever had a chance to be fresh. It plays to the tropes of many classic horror films, such as, a mysterious killer stalking teens at a party, characters wandering off on their own only to be killed, characters dying after having sex, characters falling down while being chased, etc. The setting and gleaming shots lit by sunlight in the background are reminiscent of 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.' While it's clear that these tropes of intentionally included, it's unclear what statement they are trying to make. Are these moments of satirical self-awareness? Are they admiring homages? The film is either playing dumb, or perhaps it's just dumb. I lean toward believing the latter because of how the filmmakers use Mandy Lane, who is, herself, a horror movie cliche-the American virgin, who is pursued but never caught by horny high school dudes or the killer. She never becomes more than an idea. We hardly learn anything about her, about why all the boys love her, other than because she's attractive. I suppose that's enough for these teen boy doofuses.Mandy's character remains partially formed, which might have worked fine if not for the reveal in the third act that doesn't wind up making any sense because there's zero exposition on the motivation. Nevertheless, Amber Heard is the quintessential surrogate for Mandy Lane. She looks the part and (mostly) acts it too. The rest of the acting is atrocious. They actors certainly play exaggerated versions of dumb drunk high school kids, who are obsessed with sex and are startlingly mean to each other. This should be easy to pull off, but somehow none of it feels believable. The worst offenses occur when the characters transition between drunk/high to stone cold sober in seconds. One guy literally smokes weed for two hours straight and still manages to become instantly sober when needed. There is also an abundance of continuity issues and logical flaws. The teens steal a keg from a dumpy gas station but drink bottles of beer throughout the night of partying. Plenty of other instances will become obvious when watching. In addition to these other many flaws, the film's biggest issue is that it fails to ever be scary. Sure, its kills are gory and gruesome, but those moments are nothing but plainly gross. They're too straightforward to be scary. The killer plays a role in this boring, non-scary problem too-no one will remember this killer as the next Michael Myers. Overall, this is a bland and generic teen horror film. It's suited for an audience that isn't playing close attention and won't question any of the many issues.

The "twist" is very predictable. The ending will leave you feeling robbed. None of the characters are likable but you do not really hate them either. Pretty much do not care about any of them. Mandy Lane is hot for sure but I think "like" is a mis-characterization of how all the boys feel about her.This is another one of those contemporary slasher flicks that ends on a very dark note. If you are looking for vindication or a sense of justice where monsters are defeated by the virtuousness watch Friday 13th or Halloween.I believe that slasher films are analogous to a persons inner struggle to defeat the demons with in themselves. The residual rage that some of us care from our childhood. In most movies from this genre the protagonist defeats this darkness and finds freedom.In this film the darkness wins and the observer is left trapped in his own self destructive motivations.These are not spoilers but warnings to those like myself that enjoy a good slasher film because it renews are faith in the power of will!Be warned!

A critic once said this movie is a 'thinking man's slasher flick". Sure. If you've got a bag of rocks for a brain.All the Boys Love Mandy Lane is ugly looking, terrible characters, and when it tries to get you invested, guess what, there's nothing there to invest, except the same tired clichés and even misogyny that I could detect with the title characters treatment. And just when it was bad it got unpleasant with the round of twists in the last ten minutes it just got worse. If only a shred of character development had happened, maybe it would have something. But its an Emperor Has No Clothes thing, it has an air that more is there than could ever possibly happen that works well; sad that somehow the guy that has had a solid track record so far (I should say later as the release was reversed): the Wackness and warm bodies and especially 50/50. How this was worthy of his time and effort, I mean, in terms of directorial style here it's like a poor man's Tony Scott... which is saying a LOT.

For a while I wondered why this, made in 2006, took until 2013 to be seen. Because simply put, it's trash. Boring, over long, mostly poorly acted, I couldn't figure out why anyone would Love Mandy Lane. This doesn't work as a satire, it doesn't work as a slasher film, it just doesn't work. Poorly written and directed, with some very lame camera shots, there's a dearth of imagination and lack of decent effects in this. Nothing done is original in any way. The best part of it (and I think he should leave this of his resume) is Anson Mount (Cullen Bohannen from Hell on Wheels). This is just one terrible movie. I'm not going to recap the story because there may be someone out there who won't heed the warnings of those who suffered through this and may want to watch it anyone. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.