The Ice Pirates (1984)

Good films always raise compelling questions, whether the format is fiction or documentary fact.

A movie that not only functions as a solid scarefest but a razor-sharp satire.

The acting is good, and the firecracker script has some excellent ideas.

The film never slows down or bores, plunging from one harrowing sequence to the next.

This comic take on space films (and swashbuckler films) did have potential - it had a significant budget, as well as a capable cast. However, I have to confess that I found the end results to be somewhat disappointing. Oh, there is some good production design here and there, and there are a few chuckles generated, the most coming from the wacky space warp climax. But for the most part, the movie is a mess. It seems to be making things up as it goes along instead of having a clear vision (comic or otherwise) from the start. And for the most part, it is acted and directed in a way that seems to be screaming, "Ha ha, aren't we clever?" - which gets tiresome really fast. Because of this, I didn't really care for the characters despite the cast giving gung ho performances. Evidence for how this movie should have been done can be seen with the Mel Brooks movie "Spaceballs". Yes, that movie was very goofy, but it was made with a clear vision throughout and had likable characters.

I have to admit, this movie is not that great. If your looking for a entertaining film, minus a meaningful plot, this is it. However, if your willing to just be entertained or to find the good in the bad, watch this! I laughed out loud, and certainly didn't expect to.The story, plot, the whole idea of this film is absurd to say the least. The campy dialogue, the sets and some painted vistas/backgrounds are wonderful. I cant help but laugh at this film, what with its stellar cast! Robert Urich! His best work since, well, since Spencer for Hire. Is this his only work other than that bad 80s series? LOL. I love the scene at the beginning when Robert Urich and crew (which includes a very young Ron Perlman and also a younger Angelica Huston!) first board the ship and we see a !!maid? in typical maid outfit shouting they shouldn't be aboard the ship! What the hell? Why a maid, and in a traditional maids outfit?!! Why is a maid on a ship traveling through space?The wardrobe/costume designer did one helluva job outfitting the characters with, dare I say, AWESOME outfits!! The maid, the guards who are wearing chain-mail, the princess in her dry ice vapored sleeping tube.. I cant praise the cheesy-ness of this movie enough. Its fun enough for a single viewing, and good enough to watch it with a friend who may have never seen it. Why am i leaving this review? I guess I want people to watch it since I enjoyed it so much. Just know, ships in space still need to be cleaned, so always include maids in the crew. Also, robots are necessary, especially ones which convey emotions: fear in particular. Oh, and they are really easy to reprogram just by touching something or turning a knob located on the back of their necks. WTF? Hehehe ...

I never actually saw a film that was so bad it was good until I saw this one. It really cranks the ridiculousness up to 11! The movie is for the most part a giant Star Wars ripoff: they just copied the whole bloody concept, the 'used universe' art style, the bleeping robots, the scoundrels, the princess, the evil wizards/empire...Then they try to combine this with idiotic comedy and believe me you will laugh, not at the jokes but at the over the top nonsensical lunacy they call a film. Other scifi also gets ripped off: the chestburster from Alien is here called 'space herpe'. Ad also some 'Flash Gordon' spandex scenes, a battle sequence with accelerated aging (they just speed up the frame rate) where they use increasingly more huge wigs to indicate the aging. If you want to ROFL without being even remotely drunk or spaced out, see this. If you combine one of the previous 2 with this movie you even might easily kill yourself.

Awful Star Wars knock-off with a slightly more comic tinge. Robert Urich stars as the leader of a group of ice pirates, who steal ice because water is the most valuable substance in the universe now (how all the poor people stay alive is a mystery). He hooks up with Mary Crosby (Bing's daughter, around 25 and a total cutie), a princess looking for her missing father. Also in the cast are an embarrassed-looking Anjelica Huston in some hilarious sci-fi get-ups and a pudgy, short-ish Ron Perlman (whom I thought was seven feet tall from his other roles!). And John Carradine, who looks days from death and Hollywood Squares funnyman (relative term) Bruce Vilanch. If you ever wanted to see Bruce Vilanch get decapitated, here's your film. But, then again, even that's not worth seeing, as it doesn't shut him up at all (think he might have been a robot, but I nodded off a couple of times).