The Green Inferno (2013)

Sadly Over-hyped

Fantastic!

An old-fashioned movie made with new-fashioned finesse.

It is a whirlwind of delight --- attractive actors, stunning couture, spectacular sets and outrageous parties. It's a feast for the eyes. But what really makes this dramedy work is the acting.

This movie tries to be everything at once. Fails at everything besides being a very gory parody. Clearly inspired by Cannibal Holocaust and similar movies of the 80ties, instead of going for the shock value of trash movies it quickly turns into some kind of a cannibal theme parody. Most of the actors and extras were smiling time to time. The gore scenes were well made yet still their purpose was not to shock or disgust you, but rather to confuse you on how to feel. Seeing confused extras doing something they don't understand and looking into the camera... I guess Eli Roth finds these scenes funny or something, but not everyone has such a twisted mind to be able to enjoy gore for the sake of gore (or laughs).Story is pretty straightforward yet still has tons of plot holes. Cannibals, intelligent enough to understand planes, mobile phones and to breed pigs, still eat humans for some reason. And they make it look like everyday routine, kids having fun while eating human flesh...Again. Why?The ending just spits on your face. They clearly tried to steal the "who are the real monsters" message, but this surely doesn't work in a movie like this. Just makes the lead actress an asshole in the end, she learned nothing.It's not even good trash, it's confusing, stupid, overly long and kind of boring.

Justine (Lorenza Izzo ) is the daughter of a UN attorney who enjoys privilege and wealth. She joins an activist group to save an indigenous rain forest tribe from developers and the leader of the group has a cult appeal. It also helps her "middle class Jewish guilt." After a "successful" tree chaining, they fly back and run into plane trouble. They crash into the rain forest and the tribe they just saved, thanks them by inviting them to dinner....fat guy first.Yes, this is another fine young cannibal film with severed limbs and a paint the virgin white Bo Derek scene that wasn't as good. Lorenzo Izzo is no Bo Derek, but she can act. There is some interaction in the group, and some nonsense 9-11conspiracy theory stuff thrown in. Haven't seen a good Mondo cannibal film in a while. This one was a bit watered down with a message that misses the mark. I loved the ending.Guide: F-bomb. Brief nudity. Was that Lorenza Izzo or a body double?

A group of idealistic college students set head off to the Peruvian jungle. Their aim is to make an ecological statement by hindering the operations of a logging company, and streaming this live to YouTube. They succeed in this but on the way back their plane crashes. The survivors now have to deal with the cannibalistic tribe that lives in those parts...Pretty weak, and doesn't work as any sort of movie. Seeing as it is directed by Eli Roth, you figure it will be a gory horror-type movie. There is gore, but it is pretty conventional and not that shocking by modern standards.I thought this may be some of 70s-like cannibal-exploitation movie, in the vein of Cannibal Holocaust or Cannibal Ferox. No, it is far too tame for that, and quite unnaturally so (which is odd - Roth must have known this was going to get an MA or R rating, for the gore, yet he toned down the exploitation scenes. Once you've hit the top restrictions, no need to pull your punches).The movie had potential as a survival movie, but instead of developing that for a spell, Roth went straight to the captives-of- cannibals plot.There's also a greenie vibe, that Roth alternately extols and mocks, both equally half-heartedly.Just as a pure drama it's pretty bad: basic script, unimaginative direction, lacklustre performances.So, won't work for anyone, no matter what they are in to. Focusing on one theme, and turning it up to the max would at least kept one group happy. Instead we have a hodge-podge of half-baked, diluted themes and genres.

Ever since I saw "Cabin Fever," I always pictured Eli Roth to be a very odd duck. I myself am an odd duck but he has some rather interesting tastes when it comes to making movies, tastes that put mine to shame. From what I read about him, he does not like the sight of real blood but has no problems with fake blood. By itself, that part makes no sense. What kind of movie maker (particularly one who makes horror movies) can be so squeamish about the sight of real blood?Anyway, I digress. Going into this, I had no real high hopes for it. I just wanted to see what it was like and nothing more. True to form, it was typical Eli Roth, the king of shock value. When I watched this (it was late at night and I thanked God I had an empty stomach), it definitely grossed me out...and it takes a lot to do that, by the way. A group of college environmentalists take a plane ride into the jungle and end up being involved in a cliché plane crash that leaves a number dead and others injured after the fact. Those who survive then have to fight through the dangers of the jungle in order to survive and end up being on the wrong end of a cannibalistic tribe with all sorts of weapons and techniques at their disposal.There was never a moment in the movie where I didn't squirm in my chair...and, to repeat, I almost rarely do that. If Eli was trying to do an homage to the 1970's cannibal movies by making this filth, he failed miserably. In true survival horror movie fashion, only one of the survivors walks away and heads back to the real world, forever scarred by the horrors that she went through in the jungle.I have never truly been a fan of Eli Roth. I've seen "Aftershock," which is just as revolting. I've seen "Cabin Fever," which is decent enough for a few scares. Now there's "The Green Inferno," a nonsensical waste of time that should have never been made. There is a reason why those types of movies were made in that time: you were more likely to be scared during the 1970's than you are now, where you become more numb than anything. I wouldn't even recommend watching this on a bet, not even by yourself or with friends...that is, unless they're friends that you don't ever want to talk to ever again. Watch something else other than this. Your stomach and your friends may thank you.