Judas Kiss (1999)

Best movie of this year hands down!

Just perfect...

The first must-see film of the year.

It's a feast for the eyes. But what really makes this dramedy work is the acting.

Coco Chavez (Carla Gugino) lures men and blackmails them in small grifts with boyfriend Junior Armstrong (Simon Baker). They recruit Lizard Browning (Gil Bellows) and wild man Ruben Rubenbauer (Til Schweiger) to kidnap computer tycoon Ben Dyson who has a $4 million insurance policy to pay the ransom. It doesn't go smoothly as Coco kills Senator Rupert Hornbeck (Hal Holbrook)'s wife. Cynical police detective David Friedman (Alan Rickman) is forced to take the case along with an equally cynical FBI Agent Sadie Hawkins (Emma Thompson) as his partner.I can do without all the southern accents. Along with the mannered dialog, it becomes a bit annoying. The actors make a passable attempt at neo-noir. However it doesn't amount to anything compelling. Rickman and Thompson could have been a funny pairing but it's not enough. Sebastian Gutierrez is trying to be Tarantino but he's nowhere good enough especially for his first movie.

The movie boasts a cast producers would nowadays have to pay a handsome price for. The movie is entertaining, has a sufficient number of action scenes, a successfully unpredictable plot and characters who initially would appear to be mismatched turn out to make quite an ensemble. I can't believe I had not seen or heard of it at the time; anyway, I'm glad I caught up with it this week. Don't mistake this movie with the 2011 production; there are no connections whatsoever.The dialogue is a Sebastian Gutierrez staple of witty and quickly delivered lines. Gutierrez has the advantage of directing his own script so he would have a better understanding of where the story is going and how it's suppose to get there. Take a second look at the cast list; I am still impressed. The funny moments, courtesy of Gutierrez' snazzy quips, do not distract from the plot, well not too much. Alan Rickman and Emma Thompson objectively don't fit in their roles with their accent, but we are willing to overlook that because they do a good job. Til Schweiger was the biggest surprise to me; his character required a keen sense of humour to deliver the performance you might well remember above all other of Schweiger's own. I have not omitted Carla Gugino… I go to a different place when I think of her. If you read my reviews of "Every Day" and "Girl Walks Into A Bar", you can probably make an educated guess where that is. The overall ratings at the few sites that even bothered to include this movie are not high; I don't know why that is, so just ignore them and don't miss it if you have the chance to see it. This is a perfect choice for the evenings when you are in the mood for a movie you and you friend(s) know nothing about; come on, admit it you, have some of those. I can safely say, well over a decade late, this is a movie most everyone will like and it will sell lots of popcorn with the fake butter and gallons of Coke.

This was the first directing job by Sebastian Gutierrez, the writer of Snakes on a Plane and Gothika. Anyone who has read my reviews knows that I love capers, and this was a doozy. A kidnapping and a woman shot in the process. The FBI has Emma Thompson on the kidnapping case and the Police Chief (Roscoe Lee Browne) assigns Alan Rickman to solve the murder, which happens to be a Senator's (Hal Holbrook) wife. These two make an outstanding pair as they work together.The kidnappers/murderers have lovers Simon Baker (Land of the Dead) and the ultra hot Carla Gugino (Sin City), along with a couple of partners. They kidnapped a hotshot computer mogul and they run his accountant all over town before they get the dough. Things go fast from there as new twists and turns are brought in. The whole thing is brilliant and definitely a "piss in your pants because you can't go to the bathroom or you'll miss something" thrill.Now, to be completely honest, I would have given this movie a 10 if there had been more of the movie the security guard was watching in the opening. I would have loved to see more of Beverly Hotsprings and Yvette Lera, but, hey, that wasn't part of the caper; just icing on the cake.Thompson and Rickman should definitely make more movies together. One treat:Agent Hawkins: So fill me in. Detective Friedman: That remark could be misconstrued as sexual harassment, Agent Hawkins. Agent Hawkins: Let's get it out of the way then: you've never worked under a female superior before. I got to where I am by pushing paper and playing nice - I've never actually fired a gun before, I'm only in this job to prove to my father I'm not a coward. I give decent head, so I got promoted before all the worthy candidates, all of them men, all of them equally gifted at fellatio but there was a gender quota to fill. I'm also stupid and idealistic; you are hard and cynical, and usually right. I am secretly in love with you but I have a hard time showing it. Did I skip anything?Damn, that's great dialog! Gutierrez not only directs a great movie, but he can write too!And, did I say Carla Gugino was hot?Put this on your list.

It's not easy to find Judas Kiss on VHS (it's not available on DVD), but I wanted to add this rather obscure movie to my Alan Rickman movie collection.I can't understand how the talented Mr. Rickman gets into these mediocre films? Judas Kiss boasts several wonderful actors, an interesting plot and intriguing twists, but its strange visual wanderings and chopping editing ruined what might have been a great crime drama. Many scenes seem to be missing vital information to explain the character's actions: Why was our hero immediately suspicious of his bosses? Why did he mistrust the detective he replaced? There were times when I honestly couldn't tell if the director meant Judas Kiss to be a legitimate crime drama or a campy spoof. Why else would he toss in a topless/alien/lesbian porno scene in the first two minutes (that little surprise certainly made me scramble for the remote since my kids were playing nearby!)? Did he purposely instruct his two distinguished English actors (Alan Rickman and Emma Thompson) to use such awful New Orlean's accents? As an Alan Freak, I confess that I still thought Mr. Rickman was sexy: in a rumpled, weary, "take-him-home-and-tuck-him-in" sort of way.Judas Kiss isn't a great movie, but it does have some intriguing moments, but I don't recommend it unless you're trying to immerse yourself in Alan Rickman.