Submerged (2005)

Pretty good movie overall. First half was nothing special but it got better as it went along.

It's a movie as timely as it is provocative and amazingly, for much of its running time, it is weirdly funny.

The story, direction, characters, and writing/dialogue is akin to taking a tranquilizer shot to the neck, but everything else was so well done.

It's simply great fun, a winsome film and an occasionally over-the-top luxury fantasy that never flags.

...are doing exactly what in a Steven Seagal movie?Well,it's certainly not acting that's for sure - but that's nothing new.And I certainly hope they're not taking themselves seriously because there is only one actor in "Submerged" and that is the mighty Stevester himself. He appears to be suffering from the reverse of Michael Jackson syndrome and changing into a 20 - odd year old black gangsta instead of a 50 - odd year old white movie star whose best days are sadly some way behind him. But he's only got to grin - which he does rather a lot in this film - and I can still see the old Steve shining through the extra few pounds. Many of his later films certainly seem directed at the wannabe gangsta market certainly and he usually has some cool young black chap to back him up and enhance his street cred. Here his gang includes Mr Vinnie Jones,who,as a footballer was most famous for squeezing another footballer's testicles.Mr Jones now does TV adverts for CPR - well,it's a living,I guess.He is yet to appear as a pundit on "Sky"(that refuge for sad unemployables)but I wouldn't rule it out. "Submerged" is everything a Seagal movie should be - flashy,jerky and with a frankly indecipherable plot.And very,very funny. The director is like a kid with a new toy and everybody seems to be having a great time in Bulgaria - and why not,it's a lovely country. And I expect the Brits flew out by "Easyjet". Vinnie probably worked his passage by acting as a bouncer. I thoroughly enjoyed watching it,fully aware I was watching a complete nonsense but unable to turn it off. That is Big Steve's magic and his appeal to many of the less po - faced of us.

Do you really think that we have GOATS in Uruguay, or JUNGLES, or TERRORISTS, or even natives????? This movie is utterly insulting for my country.The writers of this movie didn't even bother in looking where Uruguay was. For all of you who doesn't, it's located between Brazil and Argentina. This movie was forbidden in my country because it shows something ENTIRELY DIFFERENT than realityWe don't have GOATS, we have COWS, we don't have JUNGLES, we have MEADOWS, we don't have TERRORIST or DICTATORS or Nazis or anything like that, in fact, we are the most DEMOCRAT country in Latin America.We don't even have NATIVES, the ENTIRE population are Europeans or descendants of Europeans. And our costumes are not as shown in this awful movie (as if we were Peruvians or Bolivians).

Submerged starts as hard as nails ex-military man Chris Cody (Steven Seagal, also executive producer) is offered a deal, either he undertakes an assassination & rescue mission for the Government & pocket a hundred grand or he goes to prison for the rest of his life. The choice is as easy one & one that the rest of Cody's team accepts too, their job is to go to Uruguay & rescue some captured US soldiers & kill madman scientist Adrian Lehder (Nick Brimble) who as created some method of mind control & is using it for less than friendly reasons including trying to gain control of an entire country. Cody & his team successfully rescue the soldiers but Lehder escapes, while on the submarine Alcatraz heading for the warship Clinton the rescued soldiers turn on their saviours as Lehder's mind control kicks in. With a fully armed nuclear submarine under their control Cody has to prevent a potential disaster, then he & his team head for Lehder himself & the corrupt Government officials who fund & allow his work...This British Bulgarian co-production was co-written & directed by Anthony Hickox, to be honest I wasn't expecting that much from Submerged considering the crap Steven Seagal has been churning out lately but I was fairly pleasantly surprised here as I though Submerged was a decent enough straight-to-video/DVD action thriller that wasted an hour or two harmlessly enough. The first hour of Submerged is rather enjoyable in a fun action film sort of way, it moves along at a great pace, there's plenty of action albeit quite low budget & it's good fun. Unfortunately once the shoot-out in the submarine is over & Seagal & co make it back to dry land Submerged turns into a rather dry & somewhat confusing political thriller that ditches the pace & action seen earlier for lots of exposition that is too complex for it's own good. There are double agents, double crosses, mind control, bad guy's, good guy's, shoot-outs, fights & you never quite know what anyone's motivation is or why they are doing what they are. The script is to blame here, it just isn't clear enough & is far too muddled to make complete coherent sense & with a film like Submereged the average viewer just wants to see lots of fights & explosions rather than a muddled plot that made me lose interest. The character's are average for this type of stuff with Seagal his usual by-the-numbers action film clichéd hard as nails dude with a military background who never loses a fight or gets shot in a shoot-out & the main villain is also especially bland this time out. So, the first half is good clean violent Seagal action film fun while the second half is a dry, confused & rather dull political thriller that is worth a watch for sure but ultimately won't totally satisfy fans of either genre.The part set inside the claustrophobic interior of the submarine with Seagal taking out the bad guy's could have been a mini fifteen minute Under Siege 3 & this is when the film is at it's best. The action is pretty good, there's plenty of violence, blood splatter as people are shot, a car chase, an exploding dam & submarine & Seagal single handedly taking out a tank. Like you do. Seagal is overweight in this & he again wears a long baggy coat to try & hide it while the other members of his team wear proper tight fitting military uniforms. Some of the modern souped up directing techniques are a bit annoying at times, from slow motion to fast motion to quick cuts & edits to colour tinting.Apparently filmed in Sofia in Bulgaria this had a supposed budget of about $12,000,000 & the film has decent production values although the model aeroplane & submarines look terrible. Steven Seagal seems to be almost entirely dubbed in this & when his character talks there are loads of reaction shots of other character's or establishing shots of the surroundings, ex-footballer Vinnie Jones is quite funny while Gary Daniels is alright.Submerged was a lot better than I had expected, it ain't no masterpiece & it's a shame the pace & action of the first half is jettisoned in favour of a muddled thriller but all in all not a bad effort from Seagal & one of his better straight-to-video/DVD flicks.

I'm from Uruguay. I'm from Montevideo. I don't feel insulted by this film, because you can't feel that way when you are facing people with the intelligence and education of a 1 year old baby, a not very bright one. I gonna study some more about USA cause I don't want to be such ignorant about you, as you are about us. If ignorance is bliss, the people involved in this film are the happiest of them all. Vinnie I forgive you, you were the only one that makes this film bearable. I invite you all to know Uruguay, and laugh of yourself, of you have a spark o intelligence in you, you gonna laugh a lot. Thanks for all the fish...