Legend of the Eight Samurai (1983)

Best movie of this year hands down!

Such a frustrating disappointment

hyped garbage

A lot more amusing than I thought it would be.

At two hours and ten minutes LEGEND OF THE EIGHT SAMURAI could do with some serious pruning, especially in the romantic scenes which seem to last forever. Yes, some producer or another saw this action-adventure romp and decided to appeal to the teenage girl audience by throwing in plenty of love scenes which only serve to slow down the pace for us red-blooded males. The worst scene in the film is undoubtedly the love-making in the cave which seems to go on and on and on forever. To make matters worse, in the English dubbed version, a cheesy pop song plays out over the "action", which has scant regard for the subject matter of the film. If you think a similar moment in LUST FOR A VAMPIRE is bad, just wait until you see this.Anyway, I digress. LEGEND OF THE EIGHT SAMURAI is a lengthy, epic-feeling STAR WARS rip-off with a popular fantasy theme. Influences about from George Lucas' aforementioned space opera to RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK and even CONAN THE BARBARIAN. Director Kinji Fukasaku is the man responsible for MESSAGE FROM SPACE, another STAR WARS rip-off, and here he is dedicated to delivering a straightforward historical romp complete with a colourful palette and some distinguished actors. And unfortunately it's one of those deeply flawed movies which alternates between crashing boredom and ultimate entertainment, a movie where the budget is saved for the finale and the first ninety minutes is really a time waste. In a film where eight "samurais" team up to save a kidnapped princess, it really isn't a good idea to wait until the LAST FIFTH of your movie until the scene where they actually attack. There isn't even any characterisation in the long hours beforehand: the characters just wander around and interact occasionally.The film wins points by being imaginative when it comes to the fantasy aspects. There's an undead witch; dissolutions; an evil statue; magic glowing crystals; a huge, giant, rubbery snake – a cool effect inspired by the aforementioned Schwarzenegger flick – and the cheesiest, fakest-looking giant centipede that you'll ever bear witness to. Throw in some gorgeous girls who have poisoned blood and breath and a surprising display of nudity and gore (watch out for the witch bathing naked in blood like Ingrid Pitt in COUNTESS Dracula); numerous decapitations, skin grafts and gory impalements) and you have one heck of a kid's movie that would never get made in the west! As mentioned, the cast is a quality one. Yakushimaru and Sanada are emotive leads even if such emoting is out of place in a movie like this. Sonny Chiba is of course the best thing in the movie, and the scenes where he gets to kick backside are dynamic. The supporting cast are all pretty good, even if the characters are wooden and prove to be little more than attractive scenery waiting to get bumped off at the end of the film. And what an end this film has. The last thirty minutes alone contain some of the most exciting action and destruction I've seen in a long time. It had me cheering on the lead characters. Rated on its own, this ending would deserve the highest score, but sadly the long mind-numbing build-up drags the overall quality down. Still, if you want to see dozens upon dozens of Darth Vader-lookalike bad guy henchmen getting chopped up with swords and picks, a massive set getting destroyed via some nifty SFX and tons of bloodshed and heroics, then the last thirty minutes are for you. This is a colourful and crazy enough film to warrant a look!

This is a movie so bad, it's good. For instance, when the main dude and the princess pork, it shows her from all these unflattering angles, so she looks fat. Plus, the dude has long hair. In addition, really bad English love music blares through. After they finish porking, a flying, obviously inflatable snake flies into the room and steals her. In another scene, two dudes turn into stone after holding up a support for too long. These are only a few examples of the shear volume of camp and crap in this film. Any other stupid or odd thing that could happen DOES. Like, some old lady turns into a giant centipede. It's so friggin awesome. In short, if you manage to get a dubbed copy of this, GO FOR IT.

SATOMI HAKKENDEN (Literally `Satomi (Clan) Eight Dog (Samurai) Legend') is a silly yet enjoyable romp that is a true guilty pleasure for Japanese Action Movie fans, mixing elements of Fantasy, Romance, Adventure and Traditional Samurai Drama (Chambara).Inspired by the massive 106 Volume, 1814 epic Japanese novel `Nanso Satomi Hakkenden,' by Takizawa (Kyokutei) Bakin, SATOMI HAKKENDEN attempts to modernize and reinterpret the legend of the Eight `Dog' Heroes of the Satomi Clan of Awa Province, whose Princess Fume upon her tragic death gives birth to the Hakkenshi (Eight Samurai) whose spirits are reincarnated in human form carrying mystic crystal beads signifying the virtues of Confucianism (Jin-Sympathy, Gi=Duty/Justice, Rei=Proper Form, Chi=Wisdom, Chuu=Loyalty, Shin=Faith, Kou=Filial Piety, and Tei=Brotherly Affection).Shizu (Yakushimaru, Hiroko) is a descendent of Princess Fume and is being hunted by the sinister forces of the Hikita Clan, whose Black Magic wielding, Lady Tamazusa (Natsuki, Mari) needs Shizu's blood to give herself eternal beauty (somewhat Snow White-like). Enter the Hakkenshi who attempt to protect Shizu from Tamazusa's minions and her Black Magic spawned threats. During the course of their adventures, Shizu falls in love with one of her protectors, the wild-child Shinbei (Sanada, Hiroyuki) who just so happens to be the bastard son of Lady Tamazusa.1980's `Super Producer', Hiroyuki Kadokawa and legendary maverick director Kinji Fukusaku team-up once again to bring together this loud, Special-Effects laden spectacular with mixed results. The action is superb, compliments to Chiba, Shinichi (aka J.J./Sonny Chiba), Shiomi, Etsuko (aka Sue Shiomi) and the rest of the Japan Action Club and their unique blend of swordplay and martial arts action. Much time is spent on the romance between Shizu and Shinbei. At the time Yakushimaru was the darling of Japanese Cinema, having just come off of her Box Office smash hit `Sailor Fuku Tou Kikanju' (Sailor Dress and Machinegun) and Kadokawa wastes little time exploiting her new found popularity. Yet, the story is slow at times and often confusing as a parade of characters march past the screen. Characterization for the Hakkenshi is almost non-existent, save for their stereotypical attributes (the staunch leader, the brooding androgynous samurai, the mysterious warrior princess, the tall and silent muscleman, the token kid and the `bad-guy' turned `good guy').SATOMI HAKKENDEN is a pure `popcorn' movie for the teenage set.

more of an RPG movie with each of 8 samurais as RPG characters in a role playing games. each one has their own story and own ending. the fights are great...story is your typical rpg game...princess seeks out 8 samurai to help her destroy evil people....everything's great. the fights...they are great too. especially the one where this man was fighting off everybody in this patio while white (cherry?)blossoms are falling down. one thing.... special effects... kind of corny...but if you can look past the special effects and you're the type of RPG fanatics...this is the movie for you