Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! (2015)

Sorry, this movie sucks

Please don't spend money on this.

As somebody who had not heard any of this before, it became a curious phenomenon to sit and watch a film and slowly have the realities begin to click into place.

what a terribly boring film. I'm sorry but this is absolutely not deserving of best picture and will be forgotten quickly. Entertaining and engaging cinema? No. Nothing performances with flat faces and mistaking silence for subtlety.

The first film was billed on social media as "so bad it's good", it was just bad, and the sequel was arguably worse, it was obvious that it would be a trilogy, and as a critic I felt it only right to complete it. Basically sharknado fighter Fin Shepard (Ian Ziering) receives a Presidential Medal of Freedom from President of the United States, Marcus Robbins (Shark Tank's Mark Cuban), in Washington D.C., when another freak cyclone full of man-eating sharks strikes the nation's capital, Fin and the President fight off the sharks in the White House, until the storm subsides. Fin's wife April (Tara Reid) is pregnant, she is with her daughter Claudia (Ryan Newman) and her mother May Wexler (Bo Derek) and at Universal Studios in Orlando, Florida, Fin is worried they are in danger of the storm returning. Fin catches up with his former employee Nova Clarke (Cassandra 'Cassie' Scerbo), who with her partner Lucas Stevens (Frankie Muniz), has become a hardened sharknado storm tracker. They stop at a military airport and get clearance to use a fighter jet to bomb other forming sharknados, Lucas loses his limbs one at a time and ultimately sacrifices himself to allow Fin and Nova to escape, they detonate a bomb and crash into the river at the Universal Orlando Resort. Eventually Fin reunites with April, Claudia, her boyfriend Billy (Jack Griffo) and May, another sharknado strikes, the group take cover in the iconic theme park Universal, it gets caught in the cyclone, until it is tossed and lands on top of a tall monument. It is realised that numerous storms will be combining into a massive sharknado that will destroy the East Coast, so Fin asks his estranged father, former NASA colonel Gilbert "Gil" Grayson Shepard (David Hasselhoff), for a risky plan to destroy the storm from space. The plan is put into action, but incoming sharks destroy the walkway, Billy is also killed, forcing April to board the shuttle also, although she was only there to stop Fin going. In orbit, Gil deploys "Plan B", activating the defence satellite laser weapon, leaving himself in space as there is not enough fuel to propel both him and the ship back to Earth, the sharknados are blasted and destroyed by the laser beam. But this attack causes the sharks to propel into space, Fin attacks with a laser chainsaw, he and April are swallowed by two separate sharks which fall to Earth, both are charred from atmospheric entry, but Fin emerges unharmed, while April is also unharmed, and has given birth to her baby. Also starring Mark McGrath as Martin Brody, Police Academy's Michael Winslow as Brian "Jonesy" Jones, singer Ne- Yo as Agent Devoreaux, Stargate SG-1's Christopher Judge as Lead Agent Model, The Incredible Hulk's Lou Ferrigno as Agent Banner, writer Jackie Collins (Joan's sister), Jerry Springer as Mr. White, Celebrity Big Brother's Ray J as Tom Major, Penn Jillette as Lieutenant Colonel Stylo, Teller as Major Caissier, I'm a Celebrity's Kendra Wilkinson as Flo, Matt Lauer, Al Roker, Savannah Guthrie, Kathie Lee Gifford, Jared S. Fogle and The X Factor's Jedward (John and Edward Grimes) as Tourists. It is almost pointless mentioning the acting in it, well known faces not taking themselves or the project seriously, like the other two films it is deliberately trashy and absurd, the special effects are cheap and unconvincing, I may have tittered a little because of some deliberate comedic references, and of course how ridiculous and idiotic it is, another sequel not to bother with, an unintelligent science-fiction horror. Poor!

Where as part 1 was watchable because it was made in a time when megamonsters took it up against other monsters or humanity we are now in another era and if you watch this entry you see that it is a campy flick.The problem I had this time was the fact that it was to be honest a promo flick for Universal Orlando. The effects used in SyFy flicks are of course those from a 50 cent shop. It's terrible. Sharks look giant in the sky and once they eat people they are just smaller. Of course it's all crap that you watch and that's the strength of this low budget franchise and admit it, they are cleaver those producers. Bringing in Bo Derek and The Hoff of course is another reason to watch it. And they do know how to attract the male viewers bringing in Cassandra Scerbo as Nova looking sexy and even walking around in her underwear. It's full of continuity faults and whatsoever (tornado's going on and trees doesn't move for example). One shot it's raining, next shot it's dry at the same place (the underwear scene).It's sad to see the decay of Tara Reid, once looking gorgeous and building up a career, nowadays looking like a drug addict. So sad.I know that part 4 is on it's way, I will have look that's for sure but be aware, it's utterly crap.Gore 0,5/5 Nudity 0/5 Effects 0,5/5 Story 2/5 Comedy 0/5

Even fans of the "original" 2 movies are finally getting fed up with it. I thought it might finally get better, it actually felt like it only could get better. But the only department you might say this gets better, is in the cameo department. It's still taking itself too seriously, it's still playing the humor the wrong way. Even one scene reminiscing of Monty Pythons Dark Knight ever hits the (comedy) timing it needs too and stays silly/annoying rather than funny.There's also a political agenda here, which while not hammered home is still there. You can make of that whatever you feel like, it will depend on your own political orientation too. Putting controversial figures isn't really new, what you make with them or how you deal with them is - again taking itself too serious and trying to make those people seem cool too hard, which just isn't working. Watch Lavantula instead

I'm a fan of bad movies, the kind you'll find being made fun of on MST3K. This is a different kettle of fish. Maybe i'm too cynical, and i'm also not a fan of reality TV and celeb culture, but this is the lowest base "entertainment" you'll find next to Big Brother or Geordie Shore. If you're fond of countless cameos by z-list celebrities and hour long adverts for Universal Studios and Subway, this is your film. It's pretty pointless to tear into the bad acting, story, script, etc, because that's what the makers of this were going for. It's a cheap film, made for people who browse on their phones while its on. A reflection of the sad times we live in. If, and i hope this counts for most of you, you're sick of the lazy, mediocre films being shovelled out by Hollywood (i'm looking at you Transformers 4, Furious 7, Jurassic World) then skip this, maybe send a message to the production companies that we'd like to be entertained and not insulted.