4 for Texas (1963)

People are voting emotionally.

A lot more amusing than I thought it would be.

I really wanted to like this movie. I feel terribly cynical trashing it, and that's why I'm giving it a middling 5. Actually, I'm giving it a 5 because there were some superb performances.

This is a coming of age storyline that you've seen in one form or another for decades. It takes a truly unique voice to make yet another one worth watching.

Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin compete for control over the lucrative gambling business in post-Civil War Galveston while crooked banker Victor Buono employs villainous killer Charles Bronson to eliminate both Frank and Dino in order to run the town himself. Buono is pretty fun to watch as he makes himself a sandwich and tries to contain Bronson. 4 For Texas qualifies as a western because the title includes the word "Texas", but it looks pretty southern with wharves and riverboats in a lot of the outdoor scenes that give the movie a certain amount of regional authenticity which is kind of interesting to watch just on its own merits. In fact you could pretty much dismiss the plot and focus on the film's cool imagery and one of its stars, Ursula Andress, of whom there is what looks like a nude portrait that hangs behind the bar in Dino's riverboat establishment. As a comedy this falls mostly flat. Even the Three Stooges part is not up to their usual high standards, but as entertainment, you could do worse.

I read the other reviews, everyone has hit the major observations regarding this film, having said that, Dino is enjoyable & there's no negatives about watching Anita Ekberg, Eva Six (briefly scene as Buono's wife in the steamboat ending sequences) which is amusing considering earlier scenes that have Buono all bothered seeing Anita in sexy attire since Eva who plays Buono's wife is JUST as hot! Ursula Andress adds another bit of icing to this schmaltzy cake of 60's western comedy.Other pluses Bronson is Bronson but more animated making for an interesting performance, Victor Buono is great as usual, Richard Jackael, Mike Mazzurka, many other character actors in this film to enjoy. It is what it is, Aldrich was coasting so he could get the green light for his next film, I don't think he had any doubts about what it was or how it was turning out, for him it was business so he could get on to a film he really wanted to do.It's in my collection & I play it as 'background' when I'm doing other things, it's light, fluffy & completely mired in the 60's which for me is a plus.

A mercy "7", as this should be a great movie with such a great cast, but it isn't. It plays like "Robin and the 7 Hoods" meet "Cat Ballou". (Both are better movies.) Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra virtually play themselves, as their acting is atrocious. Both rob the same stagecoach. Dean takes the money back to his old orphanage, to give to "Mom". They become rivals and "friendly" enemies, as Frank spends most of the movie trying to get his loot back. (Like Johnny Depp, Dean Martin does the entire movie with a "drunk" accent, but probably isn't!) Victor Buono runs both the town and bank, both crooked. (Victor is a consummate performer, and always fun to watch, even in this lack-luster film.) He hires Charles Bronson to clean up the town. Somehow, Bronson "dies" twice in the movie, the second time at the very end. Dean builds a riverboat casino with the help of his "gang" and buxom beauties Anita Ekburg and Ursula Andress. Ursula looks stunning but Anita, sadly, looks old and fat. Many one minute cameos, including Jack Elam, Arthur Godfrey, and one of the Gabor Sisters. (Eva or Zsa Zsa) The 3 Stooges stop by, for 2 minutes, to deliver a great nude portrait of Anita, which is seen for less than 10 seconds, and is probably cut from most versions. Other cameos include Fritz Feld, who always played a waiter, in all his films. (He's in "Hello Dolly"!) The movie rambles on and on, for two hours, being alternately funny and violent. Frank and Dean have a fist fight at the end, and everybody soon forgets their differences. The ending looks quickly "tacked on" as Bronson falls into the riverboat's paddlewheel and supposedly dies a painful death. How is that funny? Watch "Cat Ballou" or "McClintock" instead. Both are far superior to this "comic" western. I have seen this film before, edited to 100 minutes, and it was actually better!

Bronson—in this supposed comedy-western—as outlaw leader Matson who works for crooked banker Victor Buono, helps start the film off on a high note of action… He and his henchmen attack a stagecoach whose passengers include Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra… After repulsing the bandits, Zack (Sinatra) discloses a bag containing $100,000, and Joe (Martin) unexpectedly relieves him of the money at gunpoint… In Galveston, Joe deposits the money in a bank run by Harvey Burden (Buono), a thief who has supported Zack's efforts to become the town's gambling king… When Zack arrives in town, Matson tries to kill him, but Joe interferes, saving Zack's life…Then Zack learns that Joe intends to compete with him by converting an abandoned riverboat into a gambling saloon… Outraged, he raises a gang, intending to take over the boat on opening night… But Burden has plans of his own… Much of the plot, such as it is, is taken up with the comic rivalry between Martin and Sinatra, involving with womanizing and gambling… The three Stooges doing one of their ancient routines provide a gay moment… Anita Ekberg and Ursula Andress are an absolute pleasure to look at… And if you want to know the answer of Joe to Ursula's commentary: "You didn't notice what I'm wearing," don't miss this nice, civilized picture