The Calcium Kid (2004)

The Worst Film Ever

hyped garbage

Pretty good movie overall. First half was nothing special but it got better as it went along.

It is neither dumb nor smart enough to be fun, and spends way too much time with its boring human characters.

This "film" is a direct rip off of Danny Kaye's The Kid From Brooklyn, which is an absolutely wonderful movie. The Calcium Kid doesn't even give credit to the original film, it just butchers it with plot holes and cheap pretentious laughs. I adore Orlando Bloom just like any other girl, but this is not one of his best or funnier movies. He is great, but this film falls completely flat. Trying to redo a Danny Kaye picture was a terrible idea as he is the master of comedy IMHO. This movie has some great actors, but as I said before, they completely and utterly butchered the original and without giving any credit to the original. Don't waste your time on this and watch the original with Danny Kaye.

I had heard a little about this film when it was in cinemas, it was a sort of star vehicle for the rising star of The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, but it was loathed by the critics. Basically this is a Mockumentary focusing on the rise to fame for English milkman turned boxer Jimmy Connelly (Orlando Bloom). He "accidently" knocks down the champion of the boxing club being a stand-in partner, this champion was due to face American boxing world champion Jose Mendez (Crash's Michael Peña). So sleazy boxing manager Herbie Bush (Omid Djalili) decides to pit this unknown milkman against the champ, and in preparation he starts training with Irish coach Paddy O'Flannagan (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory's David Kelly). Jimmy, or 'The Calcium Kid', just goes along with everything crook-like Bush wants, and there is obviously when everything goes low, but the big fight does come around, and I can't be bothered to remember the result. Also starring Kidulthood's Rafe Spall (Timothy's son) as Stan Parlour, Tamer Hassan as Pete Wright, Godzilla's Michael Lerner as Artie Cohen, Ronni Ancona as Pat Connelly, Billie Piper as Angel, Green Wing's Mark Heap as Sebastian Gore-Brown, Peter Serafinowicz as Dave King, Frank Bruno and Chris Eubank. Think of it as the British equivalent of Rocky, the only difference being that this film bores you to death, you don't care about the lead character or supporting, there are no good jokes, and it is predictable and uninteresting story. It is one of the most boring films I have ever seen, even though I stuck with it, it is still one of those films I wish I'd turned off, and a true failure of a sports comedy. Poor!

Jimmy is a milkman who knocks the contender for the world championship belt out....So Herbie the boxing promoter decides that Jimmy is the next great one...And so Jimmy's journey to greatness begins, in this slapstick comedy.The film has its moments with some great lines from Omid Djalili, who takes on a more pivotal role in this film as the scheming and sometimes completely idiotic coach...While Bloom puts a good solid performance as the 'Happy-Go-Lucky' kid... I thought the end boxing match was a little odd..They could have had an actual fight scene... But all in all loved the documentary side to the film...Hilarious!

This is a sweet and charming comedy about the milk delivery man Jimmy Connally (played wonderfully by Orlando Bloom) who gets the chance to fight against the undefeated world championship holder Jose Mendez in a boxing ring in London.I must admit I didn't have much hopes for the film, I like British comedies but the story seemed uninteresting to me, as I had only read a few (bad) summaries on the Net. I came across the trailer, and suddenly the film seemed exciting, and because I'm such a sucker for Orlando's pretty face, I got the film and I fell for it almost immediately!This is without a doubt one of Orlando Bloom's better films. Comparing it to his other films, let's say Troy...Troy might have been a major Hollywood movie, with a famous cast, expensive sets and a huge budget, but as Hollywood destroyed the story, I suspect everyone got disappointed by it. Calcium Kid has no flashy film sets, no huge Hollywood Superstar names lining up on the posters, and not an especially big budget, but it only proves that everything mentioned above isn't needed to kick Hollywood's ass. :)The cast of this film is great (with the exception of Billie Piper, who destroys every scene she's in), Orlando may be the big name, but the other actors shouldn't go unnoticed. Omid Djalili and David Kelly, especially, are doing terrific jobs!!It's a wonderful film that makes you want to see it over and over again. Don't forget to check out the Deleted Scenes on the DVD!!!