The Legend of Billie Jean (1985)

Sadly Over-hyped

disgusting, overrated, pointless

Boring

Excellent and certainly provocative... If nothing else, the film is a real conversation starter.

The Most important thing I learnt from the incredible tale of Billie Jean - cool red scooters are very, very, very inspirational! Especially in 1985! Secondly, if your scooter gets trashed by a bunch of unduly ruffians and unwieldy scallywags in the greater Texas expanse in the ripping 80's, and if you just happen to have a sister named Billie Jean, your in luck! Cause 80's producers will make the coolest style over content movie ever! Thirdly, a puerile Christian Slater really really really loves red scooters! and Vermont! Fourthly, in the 80's if you are a very cute blond rebelgirl on the lamb, you can go into underground dank where-houses anywhere in the greater USA expanse and meet up with tons of your fav fans, how VERY! And if you are on the lamb and a member of your seditious gang is Billie Jean, cute lil' bebe gingers can be a great asset! And if you are on the lamb and need help, don't worry if you are like Billie on any street in any state, across the country, there is someone just like you who savors your plight and is always, always ready to save you! God Bless Billie forever!

Kids…welcome to pre-social media and pre-Jean-Claude Van Damme ball- kicks.Not only was this a perfect example of the original internet, or "word of mouth," it was the good old days. I miss getting my news and stories like this story shows.Picture it. Phoenix. 1986. Thirty years ago. My sister introduced me to the legend. Billie Jean aka Joan of Arc. Back then, I loved whatever my sister did. So, since she loved this movie, so did I.Funny, this movie did make a mark on me. I literally have not seen it since that year, but this reunion of sorts on BluRay had me all misty- eyed. I cannot believe how many scenes I remembered verbatim…all the way to the climax. Maybe I saw it more than a couple of times back then. Basically, the movie is pure 80s fantasy where none of this would really happen back then and especially not today. Billie Jean's brother (and the real life brother of Supergirl actress, Helen Slater, a very, VERY young Christian Slater) gets beat up just as badly as his scooter. When Billie Jean goes to collect on the money to repair the vehicle, she almost gets sexually assaulted and the pervert gets accidentally shot. Off goes the "heroine," her posse and on goes the ahead-of-its-time Thelma & Louise, martyr trek.Yes, this movie is totally 80s in so many ways, but it's nice to reminisce with kids that were almost my age back then. (In my defense, I was actually younger than them in 1985.) And it's nice to see how we got information back then. Kids, as well as adults, will find it "primitive," but I found it refreshing. I would much rather get ONE story from many different kids than the million that are thrown at us now. Easier to concentrate on, digest and stand behind.As stated, it's pretty much the kiddie version of Thelma & Louise. It's not to be taken as serious as that 1991 classic…and if you don't take it serious, it's fun to watch. Especially if you grew up on it. Or in my case, saw it multiple of times the year it was released on "home video."Oh, and always remember: Fair is Fair! *fists raised****Final thoughts: No review of this movie would be complete without mentioning one of the greatest movie songs of all-time: Invincible by Pat Benatar. That song will live with me forever. Sure, I really did like this movie (despite all the fantasy/never-could-happen elements,) but that song will always be…well, yeah…INVINCIBLE.

Billie Jean (Helen Slater) lives in a Texas trailer park with her brother best friend Binx (Christian Slater). Local bully Hubie picks on them. He steals Binx's scooter and then trashes it while beating up Binx. Detective Ringwald (Peter Coyote) brushes Billie Jean off. She goes to get the money herself. Hubie's dad lures her upstairs and tries to rape her. Meanwhile Binx finds a gun in the cash register. The gun goes off accidentally and Hubie's dad is shot. Billy Jean, Binx, friends Putter (Yeardley Smith) and Ophelia (Martha Gehman) go on the run and become legends as she fights for "fair is fair". They break-in and befriends horror-fan weirdo Lloyd (Keith Gordon) who volunteers to be their hostage. He turns out to be the son of District Attorney Muldaur (Dean Stockwell).It is fun and energetic. It's not subtle. Richard Bradford is being a super villain. There is a lot of silliness going on. It has no believability. Yeardley Smith is ridiculous. But it's a fun campy 80s movie and there are stuff to like about it. Helen Slater and Peter Coyote are great at their roles. It's no surprise that they're the only two reasonable characters in the whole movie. Although Helen Slater striking that pose is hilarious. The movie tries to say something about girl empowerment with the Joan of Arc theme but the movie can't be taken seriously.

I haven't seen this movie in probably 15 years but the memories are fond and I must say that as a young boy I had a blast with it.This is the typical movie that will make you feel powerful when it comes about friendship, adventures, and most of all, revelry.Billie Jean's gang was likable and that helps a lot because you actually care for the party and feel worried for them. Also, the correct selection of actors was great. Yeardley Smith, Christian Slater and his sister carry the movie completely on their back.The situations are very emotional, fun, entertaining, and most of all, interesting.Keep in mind that the movie is based on a very popular character on American culture.I caught it on HBO and I hope to watch it soon.