Captain America (1979)

Touches You

hyped garbage

Best movie ever!

There's no way I can possibly love it entirely but I just think its ridiculously bad, but enjoyable at the same time.

CAPTAIN AMERICA isn't the recent mega-budget Hollywood blockbuster but instead a TV movie that dates from 1979 and dates is the right word; rarely you'll find a film which has dated as much as this one. The square-jawed but wooden Reb Brown plays Steve Rogers, the subject of a government experiment to turn him into a super-soldier who then has to take down a murderous conspiracy. The whole thing plays out in a low budget way, set in the then-present day, with lots of padding of Brown riding around on his scooter and at the beach while suits chat and plots are made. Captain America's famous shield is made out of perspex which gives you some idea of just how cheap this one is. It's lively enough in a low budget way, but hardly definitive.

I wasn't expecting much from this attempt by "Universal" in making a feature length pilot of the superhero "Captain America." My initial doubts have been more than justified! Where do I begin? Who ever thought that the leading man could actually act must have been on another planet. Reb Brown is the worst or one of the worst so- called performers in the entertainment industry. All he is, is just some dumb beefcake who couldn't project any depth or emotion to save his life. Alarmingly poor. The rest of the cast I won't mention. The plot really drags along and it made little sense. It shouldn't have taken so long for Steve Rogers to don the familiar "Captain America" costume but this doesn't occur until about 65 minutes into the television film for goodness sake! Even then, the costume looks completely wrong and bears little resemblance to the one designed for the comic book. There is no reference to the Second World War because that was when Captain America's origin story began. Why wasn't the villain the Red Skull not included in this television film? He is synonymous with Captain America, just like Batman and the Joker, Spiderman and the Green Goblin etc. The action scenes are very lame and instantly forgettable.

I don't even know where to start with this movie.The entire movie takes place on beaches,in the desert and in mansions and very little of it makes any sense.Steve Rogers is a homeless guy with no family and lots of super rich friends.It turns out that his father invented the "FLAG serum" and the government wants Steve to take it.Did I mention that shady characters are trying to kill Rogers even though he is basically a nobody?While his dad's friend is telling him that people used to call his dad Captain America, Steves doodles a perfect picture of Cap.That's because this Steve Rogers is an artist,ugh. The worst thing about the movie is all the long,drawn out driving scenes.There's at least 20 minutes of calm highway driving/helicopter flying with constant tight shots on the driver.There's an extra long scene when Steve is trying out his "new" motorcycle and it's truly pathetic.It's just him riding a motorcycle in the desert for far too long.Eventually a helicopter tries to attack him and the camera switches angles.With this new angle,we can clearly see that he is on a major highway.LAME.Then his dad's friend says "MPs!" and a jeep with 2 military policemen immediately shows up to get him.WHAT???There had been nothing about the military in the entire movie but now this guy can magically conjure them? There's so many horrible things about this movie that it would be impossible to point them all out.It deserves a minus rating but that's not possible.

Before Chris Evans brought the role to the big screen, Reb Brown debuted as Captain America/Steve Rogers, in this limp, mechanical adaptation of the comic book. Plot lurches along without any style or substance, just a stale series of uninteresting character development, before the uninspired action scenes. Oh yes, there was a sequel.You might think that the creators would have learned something from the marvelous "The Incredible Hulk" TV series with Bill Bixby, but this has none of that show's heart or intelligence.Perhaps I'm being too harsh, since it is innocuous enough, but still...Released on DVD as a double feature with Part II, from Shout Factory, on loan from Universal(which also produced "The Incredible Hulk")