Robert (2015)

Fantastic!

if their story seems completely bonkers, almost like a feverish work of fiction, you ain't heard nothing yet.

Blistering performances.

what a terribly boring film. I'm sorry but this is absolutely not deserving of best picture and will be forgotten quickly. Entertaining and engaging cinema? No. Nothing performances with flat faces and mistaking silence for subtlety.

All the writers had to do was go on the Key West ghost tour and turn that into a movie! The ghost tour is creepy and the story is detailed. The movie has nothing to do with the original legend. A huge disappointment.

When a successful couple fire their housekeeper she gets revenge by gifting their young son (played by Flynn Allen, who is probably the best actor here) an ugly doll named Robert, which happens to be cursed, bringing misery to the family. Having previously seen some of the director's other movies I had low expectations for "Robert" & unsurprisingly it turned out to be another turd. Right from the start the shaky camerawork made me feel queasy. The wooden acting is not helped by the bad script. Despite being a British film the makers decided to pepper it with random American characters, most of whom have very unconvincing accents (bad acting). Robert himself is pretty creepy looking & no doubt in better hands this could have potential but so far I am yet to see an Andrew Jones movie that isn't terrible. My only consolations were that watching this didn't cost me a penny - just my time - and I have recently seen an even worse doll movie, "Anna" (2017). Somehow this has spawned several sequels, but then so did Killjoy.

Where is his sailor suit? Where is the little bug-eyed dog that the real Robert holds in his arms, a dog whose expression seems to scream for release? This doll looks like a plasticine meat loaf that got run over by a couple of semis. Part of the creepiness of the original doll is that it manages to combine age and innocence, including a pock-marked face that makes you think this child's toy might have had some congress with syphilitic prostitutes in foreign ports of call. Neither of the parents in the movie has the least appeal; they are defensive, emotionally constipated, whiny idiots who should never have been allowed to breed in the first place. Twenty-five minutes into the plot, you find yourself wondering where this thing called a plot is. It doesn't get any better. This sucker is turgid; it moves at the pace of a 15-part BBC adaptation of a long-forgotten British novel about people who have nothing much to do with their time. I wound up hoping Robert would kill all of them just to rescue us from the tedium.

I always wondered when someone would actually make a movie based on Robert The Doll. Finally someone did it and is it any good? No! The movie is terrible. The movie is supposed to be based on the real story of Robert but it's not. If you're not aware of the real story you'll fast want to find out, and oh boy you'll disappointed finding out that they screwed up the story so bad. What they did was basically grabbing a story and try to make something on their own using small nods from the real one. First of all, The Otto's weren't British and never did they have a maid.This is one of those movies you want to stay away from. You'll find the small documentary clips on Youtube scarier. I have no idea what the writer was thinking when he made this movie or wrote it. If i had a foot inside the film business i would give them my script i wrote about Robert 3 years ago. Keeping through to the origins.