Sssssss (1973)

Purely Joyful Movie!

Don't listen to the Hype. It's awful

In truth, there is barely enough story here to make a film.

The film's masterful storytelling did its job. The message was clear. No need to overdo.

If you don't want to hear me ramble on about herpetology, you can go ahead and stop reading. The film has a title card in the beginning that explains "All reptiles in the film are real". Well yes they are, but apart from the King Cobra, the snakes are all mislabeled. Now, obviously this was done to protect the actors from being bitten by venomous snakes on the set, but for someone like me who takes it seriously, it's really irritating. With all that aside though, the film has a pretty ridiculous plot, some crazy dude wants to turn people into snakes. Yes, into snakes. The movie would be more watchable if he was trying to turn them into say, half reptilian humanoids, but no, this guy wants them to actually become snakes, identical to the ones he has in his lab. Now that's just weird. I won't lie, when the guy who was only "half snake" was found at the circus show, his obvious state of pain and misery was really heart renching. Decent acting, decent movie, but could use some work.

Best known for his iconic performance in 'Cool Hand Luke', Strother Martin of "failure to communicate" fame is well cast here as a research scientist whose obsession with snakes may or may not be driving him insane. While he sounds levelheaded whenever he talks, there always seems to be something unusual and sinister about him and Martin excels in the role, although what makes 'Sssssss' an especially interesting is its lack of overt horror. It is only really in the final quarter of the movie that everything veers in a horror direction with the vast majority of the film providing a fascinating insight into the slithering reptiles with several intense moments in which real snakes are used and handled by the cast. With the way Martin's new assistant's skin begins to peel and slightly change colour after being inoculated for snake venom, it is perhaps a little easy to predict the direction in which the film is heading; Martin's agenda in regards to this is a tad lacking too. In general though, this is an oddly compelling film as Martin's affection for his snakes is well communicated and as the film toys around with just how mentally unstable he might be. There is some silly comic relief (a bimbo girlfriend) and a bizarre obligatory nude scene in which all private parts are covered-up by absurd foreground imagery. Overall though, this is a very decent venture into snake phobia territory.

"Sssssss," or "Seven S" as I sometimes call it, is a snakes-ploitation film I have an unusual amount of affection for. This is probably because it use to air constantly on cable. It was a regular fixture on the old, good Sci-Fi Channel, USA Network, and the HBO of my youth. Re-watching it now, I think I might have responded to the films treatment of snakes. They are not depicted as mindless killing machines. For the most part, the animals are depicted accurately. Most snakes are shown as harmless while the venomous ones are to be respected. This is not a monster movie where actual animals are slotted in the spot of villain. The humans are the monster. Or become them.The plot of "Sssssss" fits in with the early seventies, drive-in/grind house market. Strother Martin, previously seen in "Brotherhood of Satan," is Dr. Stoner, a snake expert. Along with his daughter, Kristina, he runs a snake farm and research center. The prizes of their collection are Harry, a python and beloved pet, and a regal, female King Cobra. Dr. Stoner seems harmless enough but is actually a mad scientist. He begins to inject his new lab assistant (and Kristina's new boyfriend) with a strange chemical compound. Soon, David's skin begins to peel and scales grow under it… "Seven S" is delightfully kooky in spots. This is mostly due to Strother Martin's performance. Dr. Stoner has one-sided conversations with Harry the Python. He almost worships the enormous Queen Cobra. He is open about enjoying the company of animals to most people. Martin is a warm, if slightly eccentric, fatherly figure at first. Slowly, he reveals his sinister side. He murders someone with a Black Mamba, sticks a collage that has seen too much in a death trap, and feeds someone to Harry's starved mate. His ultimate end game? Turn a human into a snake. While this is obvious to the viewer early on, the film holds off on revealing exactly why he's doing this. In a climatic monologue, he reveals his motive, that he considers snakes superior to man, and believes the human race will survive the future if transformed into slithering reptiles. Martin's best moment as an actor is when he stares down the Queen Cobra, treating the animal like real royalty. The character is obviously insane but Strother never raises his voice, making him all a more effective villain.There's some home-made, low budget camp at play here as well. Hunk-of-meat actor Reb Brown, a decade apart from the hilariously low budget action-fest that would make him a dubious cult icon, plays an asshole jock. To show how big of an ass he is, he starts aggressively hitting on Kristina. Dirk Benedict doesn't like that and a fist fight breaks out. In the film's most hysterical moment, Benedict leaps onto Reb and starts biting him like a snake. It's hilarious. Reb's exaggerate jerkery is just one of the film's silly joys. In order to maintain a PG rating, all the nudity is blocked by out-of-focus foliage or lamps. This is also, probably the only film in the history of existence where a mongoose causes a woman to scream in slow-motion agony.If you're looking for camp, you'll find it. However, "Sssssss" is ultimately a bit too effective as a horror film to be laughable. There is something definitely unnerving about the half-formed "snake man" central to the plot. The way he flops his stumped arms and legs and grunts wordlessly is genuinely grotesque. The facial features are human but the body is not, creating an uncanny effect. David's slow transformation is rather horrifically realized. His skin peels like bad sunburn. He writhes on the ground as his innards change. The special effects are a little shaky but the film sells them. As the opening titles tell us, all the snakes are real. Even the ones that look like puppets, like the perpetually poised King Cobra. Seeing actors interact so freely with venomous snakes is liable to make viewers a little nervous.There's another reason I love the movie. I had a major crush on Heather Menzies, all because of this movie. She has an infectious girl-next-door charm. Her conversations with Harry the Python are adorable and I love how she treats the snakes with love, not fear. She sports a pair of clunky seventies eye-glasses fantastically, emphasizing her charm and vulnerability. Her romance with Benedict evolves naturally. The skinny dipping scene is played more for innocent cuteness then wanton titillation. Menzies proves a strong scream queen too, properly horrified by the snake man. She's adorable in "Piranha" too. It's a bummer she's retired from acting. I blame Robert Urich."Seven S" is a favorite of mine I return to quite frequently. There's little reason to love it but I do anyway.

"SSSSSSS" is an interesting but ultimately too slow creature feature.**SPOILERS**Eager to continue his research, Dr. Carl Stoner, (Strother Martin) asks old friend Dr. Daniels, (Richard B. Shull) to recommend a student for an assistant, and selects David Blake, (Dirk Benedict) for the purpose. Meeting with his daughter Kristina, (Heather Menzies) in their lab, and witnesses a public display for the group. As he continues to work in the lab, he begins to worry about the constant inoculations and treatments and tries to begin a relationship with Kristina. As he begins to secretly transform into a snake, he tries to hide it from her, and when the transformation finishes he looks less and less like his former self.The Good News: There really wasn't a whole lot here, and what's here isn't that bad. The film's main claim to glory is the constant and continuous focus upon the snakes, and if they're a creep-factor for yourself, then this will undoubtedly feature a lot of moments that are pretty unsettling. There's plenty of time spent among them and around them, from handling them in their cages to researching them to milking them, and it'll be a little tense whenever those milking scenes occur as the anticipation of whether they're going to bite or not will really give some shivers. The main moment, though, is the sideshow display, which features a really big snake is let loose in front of a group of watchers and a display is put on with it in an attempt to milk it, and the constant use of it hissing and ducking whenever the hand comes near the head to grab it does have some unnerving quality to it. There are some individual scenes that are pretty good, such as the fight at the carnival which ends in a really unique fashion, or the bathroom attack, which is really creepy and is quite creative, being simple examples of it being entertaining without the focus on the snakes. The transformation isn't that bad and must've been really impressive back then, as the face itself, which doesn't have any snake-like features, to transform into a reasonable facsimile of one, is pretty impressive. It doesn't look that bad, and has some nice features to it.The Bad News: This really wasn't that impressive, and there's a couple reasons for that. The main one is that the film is very, very slow. It takes forever for something to happen, and aside from the two scenes above, it's really unspectacular when it does happen. The snake wrangle and milking scene does have a few tense moments but it does seem to drag out and on, taking twice as long as it should've been. The moments at action don't really come to pass and move along quite unspectacularly, and it moves onto something else. The only thing remotely considered action comes in the final minutes, and then it just ends. There's really no set-up or anything, the action starts, then finishes and then the film just ends. It's quite unremarkable and seems weird. The film's other fatal flaw is that, unless snakes creep you out, there's nothing of interest in the middle of the film. The middle is based around the concept of "snakes are creepy," and unless that applies to you, all the contact time with them won't register and it becomes an endless series of scenes that don't do anything other than induce boredom. Its not the kind of response a film really wants, but it's the one main flaw in the film. Otherwise, this wasn't bad, if only it would've moved along faster.The Final Verdict: This one really could've used a faster pace to be more interesting, since most of what's wrong is derived from that fatal flaw. It's still a cheap B-movie, so if that appeals to you, then give it a shot, there's nothing here that won't upset them, but those fearful of snakes are advised to seek caution, there's tons of time with them in the film.Today's Rating-PG-13: Violence and Brief rear Nudity