Dard Divorce (2007)
What started with a routine divorce between Natalie Stein and her husband Tim, will soon take a turn into the unexpected and evolve into scenes of torture, bloodshed and slaughter.
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Best movie ever!
A movie that not only functions as a solid scarefest but a razor-sharp satire.
This is a small, humorous movie in some ways, but it has a huge heart. What a nice experience.
A great movie, one of the best of this year. There was a bit of confusion at one point in the plot, but nothing serious.
I signed up to IMDb solely so I could write a review on this hideous movie.My friend and I hired this movie because we were in the mood for something gory along the lines of Saw or Hostel.What we got was the most ridiculous steaming turd movie I've ever seen.We should have seen it coming, the director cast his wife who speaks ridiculously broken English as the lead actress. Off to a bad start.It wasn't until I went through and read some other reviews that some of the ridiculous, and pointless scenes in this movie came flooding back to haunt me... The cutting in half of a child from head to toe, the nude man dismembering a carcass that went for about 5 minutes, I seem to remember a man hacking off someone's head with a shovel and then saying something along the lines of "don't lose your head".I even remember some sort of sexual assault of a woman who had been punched in the face by a detective.The worst part about this movie is that my friend forgot to take it back, and as a result we got charged 50 dollars.It's like paying someone 50 dollars and getting them to belt your head against a wall for 90 minutes.Does that sound like a sensible financial decision? No? Neither is paying to watch Dark Divorce.
To start with, the only reason i have given this film a rating of 1 out of 10 is because 0 is not an option.This film simply must be the worst i have ever seen. The acting (and i use the term loosely) is just ridiculously pathetic; it is almost as though they are not trying. The main character wanders around the entire film almost devoid of any form of emotion, and her accent (apart from being annoying) is just unnecessary. Worst of all, this deficiency is accentuated by a detective who over-acts everything, thinking he is Horatio from CSI: Miami (who annoyingly also tends to over-act his part). Unfortunately, this is not the worst of it. Whoever wrote the story to this film ought to be shot; or at least banned from making films in the future. The story catapults itself from side to side, having characters draw unlikely and premature conclusions (e.g. the woman finds a note written in something red on the floor of her house, so she instantly calls 911 telling them it is a 'death threat', despite the note being written in a foreign language she doesn't understand). The writing is just lazy and amateurish, simply presenting the audience with facts about the characters as they are needed, rather than putting in the effort to actually establish a back-story. Furthermore, it does nothing to establish a steady flow or any level of individuality, simply treating the act of writing a screenplay as though you were baking a cake - monotonously, step by step. If you are so curious as to watch this abomination, pay particular attention to the opening scenes, where firstly, everything is told to the audience through narration, rather than spending the money to film some flashback scenes. Secondly, watch the introduction of characters - the two children enter perfectly one after another, so mechanically and unnatural (which reminds me of another point - why do the children not have accents? This just heightens the superfluity of the main character's). Finally, watch how the central concept of the divorce is introduced (through the narration)... listen... oh, all of a sudden she is a lawyer who uses all of her legal skill to keep her children... how convenient (and lazy, come on! Really? She's going through a legal battle so she just happens to be a lawyer?). Also, take note of the way it is introduced, you are just told - you don't see her in any way working as a lawyer; in fact for the first 20 mins you would swear she was nothing more than a house-wife (and to me the character appears as though she may struggle with the intellectuality of this alone, notwithstanding that of being a lawyer). This laziness on the writer's part just kills the entire story, for it makes it everything it attempts unbelievable. The only thing you may be able to give this film any sort of credit for is the gore and violence. However it takes this, the only thing going for it too far, making it become unbelievable and appear overwhelmingly fake.I must admit, I am actually left dumbfounded as to how such a film could have secured financing, and how the filmmakers could have picked themselves up off the floor from laughing so hard as to cut the final film together. This film ought to be studied in media courses around the world as an example of what not to do when making a film... Truly Pathetic!
For starters this movie to me, seemed like it was shot by a twelve year old. The actors (if you can call them actors) were very ameturist, illogical and entirely unbelievable. The story dragged on, it was strange and a lot of the parts should have really been cut.However... I think on some level, the director's idea was idealistic and original, he could have done this film brilliantly if he had a well prepared and experienced cast. Now for what I actually saw the movie for, the gore... It was terrific, I was disgusted by every minute of it. Blood, limbs and protruding intestines, brilliant!
Everything the two reviews above me has said are correct. Outside of some excellent gore/torture scenes, it's just a bad film. I just wanted to add that the sound mixing was really, really terrible. The music was nowhere near good enough to overwhelm the film which it began to do about halfway through. There were some scenes where the music was so loud I literally couldn't hear what the actors were saying.Of course that wasn't such a bad thing because the dialogue was terrible. It sounded like it was written by someone with a very tenuous grasp of English, perhaps learned via Baywatch reruns. All in all, don't bother unless you love gore and torture films, because that's what most of this film is.