Mail Order Wife (2005)

Thanks for the memories!

Pretty Good

Expected more

There's no way I can possibly love it entirely but I just think its ridiculously bad, but enjoyable at the same time.

Working as a messenger/company rep I come across many New York City Doormen. This story is about a doorman named Adrian. Disheveled oafish,overweight with protruding frizzled hair Adrian is looking for a bride of his dreams through a catalog to satisfy his need for female companionship. Adjunct with filmmaker Andrew who will handle the cost in order to get his documentary off the ground filming the entire start to finish love story as our homely Adrian orders a bride from a catalog of Asian beauties. Enter our male order wife direct from Myanmar Lichi (Eugenia Yuan) who is greeted at the customs area at the airport walking like a lost little lamb in the field with a dimwitted smirk as she gives the impression she doesn't know a thing. To add to the physicality of this newly arranged couple The hefty Adrian and the slender,scrawny Lichi not exactly a perfect fit. Next over to the Justice Of the Peace for the informal wedding ceremony as their pronounced Husband and Wife Mail Order Style. Then quickly off to Adrian's residence in his over sized Buick to City line section of New York with a house that resembles Archie Bunkers's. No romance, no wedding cake and no time for loving. Adrian has a honey to do list waiting for poor Lichi starting with meeting his family member called Chipwitch a snake which he keeps in a tank in his basement. Off to the kitchen as he teaches her the art of fine dining with his ever popular chili recipe adding extra ketchup for flavor. Next off to the bathroom not for a romantic bubble bath but to scrub the toilet his way. Poor Lichi. Andrew our College hipster is appalled by her circumstance and plight as he plays Sir Galahad and takes it upon himself to rescue her from the drudgery of the unpolished Adrian. Andrew brings Lichi into his white liberal sophisticated world as our story takes off in a different direction ending up with a Senior citizen and a boat ride from ex major leaguer Jose Conseco in a daring Dragnet that has a twisted but humorous ending. Sometimes the rules of little fish getting eaten by medium fish and then by large fish don't apply in this movie as you wonder who is really in control. This Mockumentry had me laughing as you learn that love and romance has to be earned. No quick fix that you can get out of a catalog or the internet. Felicitations and compliments for Writer and Director Huck Botko and Andrew Gurland for thinking out of the box in this unique filming adventure. Remember all's fair in love and the cinema. A lesson to be learned for any one who wants a quick fix in solidarity.

I went into this knowing it wasn't a real documentary, but other than that, didn't know what to expect. More than 2/3 of the way through, it was still surprising me - there are many twists and turns, definitely not a hackneyed approach to the story. It does a great job of sending up the submissive Asian Geisha girl stereotype, and thoroughly blasts men who buy into it, and their horrific expectations. I recognized Eugenia Yuan from The Eye 2 right away, as I had re-watched it recently, and seeing her get to really act was delightful. I suspected that Lichi's English wasn't as bad as it seemed in the earlier scenes, and the "I want a baby" scene was pretty incredible. I hope to see her in more English language movies soon. Andrew Gurland's willingness to portray himself as such a scum in a movie that a fair number of people won't realize is fiction is impressive. I look forward to his upcoming projects as well.

The best movies are the ones you know nothing about. I was lucky, I got around to watching this movie in Nov 2010 and had no clue what it was about. When I realized it was a documentary, I gave it ten minutes to see if the content was interesting enough for me to stick around. About a half hour into it I was disgusted by what I was watching and emotionally committed despite the bells going off in my head trying to warn me something was not quite right. Then the brilliance of the film reaches out and smacked me in the head. I never laughed at myself as hard as I did when "the gotcha moment" came. It happened a little over the halfway point for me, perhaps a little earlier for some folks, a little later for others and from the looks of it, by some previous reviews not at all for the wrapped too tight around the handle crowd. As I go back over the movie, I can't believe how stupid I was to fall for any of it and I laugh at myself all over again. Stnding O fellas, you got me.

I have to admit that this movie was well done, but the net effect of how it made me feel was simply 'bad'. I can see the intended black humor, clever and innovative script, and good performances throughout the movie. However, it's simply depressing to watch.One of the most interesting aspects of this movie are the ideas that went into it. These included most of the down aspects - everything from older men and barely 'old-enough' girls, servitude, abuse, exploitation, etc.It's clever, but depressing to watch. I'd say pass on this one unless you want to feel bad.