Creepozoids (1987)

One of my all time favorites.

Good films always raise compelling questions, whether the format is fiction or documentary fact.

It's a feast for the eyes. But what really makes this dramedy work is the acting.

This film is so real. It treats its characters with so much care and sensitivity.

This 1987 horror Sci-Fi movie was somewhat of a dud. Well, given the synopsis and the lack of any famous actors is a clear indicator that you are in for a low budget Sci-Fi ride. And oh boy, were you in for exactly that at the hands of director David DeCoteau.The entire movie just reeked of low budget and suffered from having a poor script. First of all the setting of the movie just didn't pass for what it was intended to do. So the world was in disarray and acidic rains shower the surface. Right, well it just didn't come off as being believable.The creature was actually adequate, albeit not impressive, mind you. It worked well enough for what it was intended to do. Just don't expect to see anything overly impressive. But I am sure that back in 1987 that the creature effects here was quite good.What was a cumbersome anchor around the ankles of the movie was the acting performances put on by the cast. Most of these people seemed like they weren't even trying. And I can't claim to be familiar with a single face or name on the cast list.I was especially impressed with the bowl of fresh fruit that was on the table in one of the scenes. Wouldn't that require a hospitable environment in order to grow fruit? And I am sure that acid rain doesn't qualify for a hospitable environment."Creepozoids" came crawling in without any attention to itself, and it left the exact same way. This was a very poor horror Sci-Fi experience. I have seen it now in 2016, and I will never see it again.

1998. World War III has reduced the planet into a dangerous wasteland complete with acid rain. Five army deserters seek refuge in an abandoned laboratory complex. Naturally, the place turns out to be the stalking grounds for both lethal mutated rats and a huge'n'savage subhuman beast. Man, does this wonderfully wretched junk possess all the right stuff to qualify as a real four-star stinkeroonie: The ham-fisted (non)direction by David DeCouteau (who also co-wrote the dire and hopelessly derivative script with Buford Hauser), the lousy acting, the tacky gore (one guy pukes what looks like motor oil in a mess hall scene that's directly lifted from ALIEN), the endless shots of folks running up and down corridors, the glaring lapses in logic (a post-nuke world which still has functioning computers and showers with clean water in it!), and a seriously lame "it ain't over yet!" final freeze frame all provide a wealth of unintentional belly laughs. Moreover, the cut-rate (far from) special effects are a complete cheesy riot: The hilariously hokey and unconvincing over-sized stuffed rats, some poor schmoe in an obvious rubbery monster suit, and a hysterically pathetic mutant puppet baby are all sidesplitting sorry sights to behold. Richard L. Hawkins as inept squad leader Jake makes for a laughably wimpy and ineffectual would-be hero. As a yummy plus, the ever-luscious Linnea Quigley once again bares her beautifully bountiful breasts and takes a steamy shower. Thomas L. Calloway's dingy cinematography and Guy Moon's redundantly bouncy score are both perfectly putrid. A real cruddy hoot and a half.

Creepozoids (1987)** (out of 4) In the distant future (year 1998), a group of survivors find an abandoned building as they are trying to find safety. You see, the world was pretty much destroyed by monstrous creatures and this group just wants to live in peace but soon they realize that they're not alone. Director David DeCoteau has made over a hundred movies in his career but this one here stands out for several reasons. One is that it was his first film shot on 35mm and another reason is that it features Linnea Quigley in the shower. CREEPOZOIDS is often called one of the worst films of the decade but I think those comments are rather harsh when you consider this was shot in just 15-days with a $150,000 budget. The film isn't like most of its type as this here at least tries to do something big. I say that because usually these types of films just feature people walking around and getting killed one-by-one but off camera. People are constantly walking around here and getting killed but thankfully the film went the extra mile to come up with a monster and several gory scenes. The monster is obviously fake but this doesn't take away from the entertainment as he's constantly going after people. The end results includes all sorts of blood effects but also plenty of goo being thrown around. The death scenes aren't all that memorable but at least they're fun and just wait until you see the exploding eye. Even these effects aren't the greatest but they're at least fun and that's good enough. At just 68-minutes (without the end credits) the film really does feel like the type of "B" picture from the 1950s. The only difference is the gore and nudity. Fans of Quigley will enjoy her sequence in the shower and there's no question that she's quite charming here delivering some pretty bad lines. Most people aren't going to want to watch a low-budget film like this but if you enjoy campy "B" movies then there's plenty to enjoy here.

In the near future, a group of Army deserters take shelter in an abandoned building to hide from acid rain and the two world superpowers remaining (presumably the United States and Russia, though I do not recall the film being specific). What is locked inside the building, however, may be even more deadly than the war raging on outside."Creepozoids" is probably one of the most under-rated films of the late 1980s. While it is true that the plot is a bit thin, the acting average and the special effects not overly stunning, it doesn't deserve the low rating it tends to receive. IMDb, for example, gives this film a paltry 2.2 -- yet, I can say with confidence I've seen countless 5/10 films that were far worse and much less entertaining. This film has a certain B-movie fun factor to it that really provides a lot of charm.What will probably draw most people to this film is the appearance of Linnea Quigley. And if you're looking for more of her clothes-free scream queening (if "Return of the Living Dead" isn't enough), this film will be right up your alley -- even in a world with contaminated water and rodents of unusual size, Linnea finds the time to have a steamy, sexy shower scene.The Guy Moon score is cheesy but effective. The effects department... that's a bit odd. We have an alien in a rubber suit. Large rats that don't move at all unless a victim throws them. And a metal tunnel that is only filmed on two of the four sides, making it appear that the person crawling through it is merely low along the wall and not actually in a vent. If the budget was a concern, I think they saved a few dollars along the way.I really did enjoy the film, though. At a short 70 minutes, the pace is quick and leaves little time to lose interest. Some of the bad dialog can be excused, and despite the fact many people have called this film derivative of "Alien", I just don't see it. I saw much more in common with splatter-melt flicks such as "Street Trash" or "Demons". In this department, the effects were top-notch.I may be alone on this, but I'd love for Full Moon (or anyone) to release a special edition of this film, perhaps for its 25th anniversary in 2012. An audio commentary with the director and Linnea Quigley would be welcome, and if any outtakes, behind the scenes or cut shots exist, these might be of interest. I really found this to be a good example of an enjoyable film made on the cheap, far more fun and entertaining than bigger Full Moon flicks like "Puppet Master".