Coffin Baby (2013)

Simply A Masterpiece

hyped garbage

It's funny, it's tense, it features two great performances from two actors and the director expertly creates a web of odd tension where you actually don't know what is happening for the majority of the run time.

One of the worst ways to make a cult movie is to set out to make a cult movie.

This is my first review on IMDb and I hope to do justice to myself. The movie is basically set in Hollywood, California where a guy has 2 girlfriends who are both sisters. He has a baby with one and one day plans o go a vacation with the other sis, but in a bizarre turn of events all of them are killed at different time-lines of the movie by a masked torturer. There really isn't a convincing storyline here and the movie really is funny and parody at times on some of the other serious well made torture movies made. The movie has lot of illogical moments and makes you want to question the director in every scene. The movie is filled with gore and blood with human body parts thrown around in the torturer's basement. For a 2013 movie, this is really bad. Other than the graphics of gore, everything else is boring. For a horror movie it only scares you in few seconds in the first few minutes, and the rest of the movie is just going to test your patience. The writer lacks creativity and also the low budget is visible all around. Dear horror genre connoisseurs - Stay away.

This is about a serial killer connected to some gruesome Hollywood murders in the 1950's and in the present day. The movie begins in black and white in 1958. First we see some burial places and a newspaper on the ground sensationalizing a Hollywood murder. Then a Bogart-like cliché or simulation in trench coat and hat (whose face we never see clearly) lights up a cigarette in the dark to cool jazz. He starts walking down a dark alley, makes a left, there is a white flash and he's now on Hollywood and Vine at night, present day, and the film switches to color. Heading in the opposite direction he passes a young woman (Model?) who the camera is following from behind. The hottie pauses looking somewhat confused, then turns around to find that Trench Coat has disappeared. She continues on her way while Trench Coat, who has reappeared, watches her.After her sister is brutally murdered a woman is kidnapped (From a police car!) by a man in a trench coat and crude black mask with eye holes and mouth hole. He takes her to an abandoned building and locks her up in a large cage with bars like a jail. At this point the movie starts to chronicle each day that passes. You know, "Day 1", "Day 2", and so on. Each day and number is accompanied by a short burst of old black and white pictures of murders and documentation. What for? -I dunno.The killer never did anything to the kidnapped woman that CLEARLY explained to me why he kidnapped her. It seems it had something to do with her baby. Perhaps too, he wanted an audience? I say this because from where she was being kept she could see him when he hauled in another victim. As well, she could see his well lit "work area" with all it's frighteningly crude instruments of dismemberment, evisceration, and decapitation. This was conveniently also the kitchen area. I know because at one point (after Day 13 when she was capturing and eating cockroaches) he offered his captive SOMETHING fried up in a skillet. We know what that was. Thigh of girl. Still alive, by the way, as he cuts portions for cooking. Nevertheless, it had to be a step up from the cockroaches, I say. Maybe I'm grossing you out, Reader. But if you had to choose? In this movie some scenes, performances, and genre seemed incongruous. At one point, for example, the killer cuts off a woman's hand. Then directly after, we see him disposing of a dismembered "foot" in a furnace. I, and you, would have expected to see the hand he just cut off. Because of the bad acting on the part of the key players and bizarre story the movie came across as a "dark comedy". This includes the kidnapped woman, the killer, and the unconvincing police detectives. The guy playing the cop who had to tell the woman about her sister did a first-rate job of acting, though. So much so that I had to wonder what he was doing in this thing. Bruce Dern appears later as a "captive ghost" high on religion whom the kidnapped woman must help liberate along with a little ghost girl. Bottom line: Do I recommend it? Well if you're a film student and you want to learn what not to do, I say "yes". As well, if you're one of those eclectic "movie nerds" you might wish to add this to your collection. The rest of you I gather have lives so I say "no". Love, Boloxxxi.

I think am the second person for a review on this film well lets go. First of all the plot its there but you have to figure it out be open minded bit slow and boring at the beginning does not make much sense considering the direction the film takes after about 20 Min's then the gloves are off it turns in to a blood bath of torture and gore this where the film stands alone for the budget the make up effects are incredible all the body parts are well thought out the anatomy to me seems dead on (no doctor)all the money for budget seems to be spent on make up and it works you can make a bad movie look good with a great effects and this has got it in buckets i also found the end credits very very well done lots of different shots of the film and some stop motion very clever indeed this why five stars i wish i could give it more but the beginning and some stupid bits in the middle let it down for a higher score (spoiler)the other reviewer said he did not know why it was called coffin baby the killer was called coffin baby he was born in a coffin when his mother died (when you see his face you can guess the rest) bye for now if you watch enjoy

1. For Cinematography. 2. For great body parts. 3. For Bruce Dern.Anything else you can add....please do. I like watching movies. I like Horror, Sci-Fi and the unspecified Weird Stuff. I will watch a movie just because someone put a story (I hope) into film.With all that being said....I can't say much else for Coffin Baby. The plot or the title got lost somewhere. To contradict myself....there is a plot. But it is so basic it will inevitably put one to sleep. The victim needs something....can't put my finger on it....oh yes, I have no fingers. Don't get me wrong...I love weird, but this is not that kind of movie. The shades of gray are a good touch. But then early on into the movie one realizes that shades of gray and another body is all one is going to get. I can't possibly spoil the movie with this review. You will have to watch and see for yourself. I've seen bad movies. If you're like me...you will sit down and watch it just to say you did it. That will be the end of the story.Bruce Dern is Bruce Dern...he can't play a bad role. I just like the guy because he creeps me out just being on film. I seem to be the first to review Coffin Baby. Looking forward to jumping back from time to time and see who watches the film and who comments....and what they say. Please don't hesitate to jump in here. Hmmmmmm...finger lickin' good......Q(:-}