Murder Me, Murder You (1983)

Touches You

Overrated and overhyped

Boring

This movie tries so hard to be funny, yet it falls flat every time. Just another example of recycled ideas repackaged with women in an attempt to appeal to a certain audience.

****SPOILERS**** Debut of the "New Mike Hammer" with Stacy Keach in the leading role as the tough take no BS private eye Mike Hammer who gets involved with an all women currier service that's a front for illegal drug trafficking from South America to the US. It turns out that the co-owner of the delivery service is an old flame of Mike's Chris Jamerson, Michelle Phillips, before he went to Vietnam as an adviser to the South Vietnamese military back in 1962. It turns out that Mike unknowingly, he didn't use protection, had a daughter with Chris Michelle, Lisa Blount, who's existence she kept from him all these years. It's later that Michelle got in with the wrong crowd and ended up a junkie as well as porno actress who dropped out of sight and is now possibly dead! Having to testify in court about what she knows about her curries business Chris in the middle of her being asked questions unexpectedly drops dead, after taking her heart medication, of a massive heart attack to a both stunned and shocked courtroom!Mike going all out to find not only what or who killed Chris but his long lost daughter, if she's still alive, Michelle as well soon tracks down multi millionaire helicopter manufacturer as well as Vietnam war hero Jack "The stutterer" Vance, Tom Atkins, who was somehow connected with Chris's currier service. Getting nowhere with the elusive Vance who's stuttering, a result of a war injury, makes his answers almost unintelligible soon drops the attempt of getting anything out of him altogether. Mike against is better judgment goes to see the co-owner of the currier company the creepy looking Isadora Shepperton, M.A Andrews, who's partner Janice Wells, Ave Lazar, was killed where her car, with what possibly turned out to be Michelle as her passenger, was forced off the road. It later turns out that Isadora was behind a string of murders to keep total control of her business and it's Hammer's long lost daughter Michelle, if she turns out to be alive, that's a threat in her being the late Chris's daughter to her total control of it! ***SPOILERS*** Hammer after a number of beatings shootings as well as over the top and exciting bar room brawl-much like the one that actor Stacy Keach was involved in the movie" Twinkle Twinkle Killer Kane" three years earlier- finally tracks down the man or woman behind all this mess which has his long lost and now found daughter Michelle get killed in the cross-fire. Hammer never realized, like us watching, what a first class and dangerous psycho he was up against and it took all his knowledge of the sweet science, modern boxing, as well as martial arts and a bit of dirty fighting, when that didn't quite work, to subdue and take out the out of control and dangerous lunatic! The saddest part of the movie was the fact that Mike who never knew that had a daughter and, in no fault of his own, never kept in touch with her only got to know her for a few days before she was killed on what was to be her 2Oth birthday November 19, 1982! Unhappy birthday Michelle!

Very interesting Thriller, a Mike-Hammer TV-Special. The plot is excellent and has a few surprises and the cast is brilliant. Stacy Keach plays Mike Hammer as always but Tanya Roberts as his secretary Velda is a real pleasure. She bewitches us with her girlie-like charme and her soft sex-appeal.