Doctor Who: Voyage of the Damned (2007)

A Masterpiece!

This is one of the few movies I've ever seen where the whole audience broke into spontaneous, loud applause a third of the way in.

Exactly the movie you think it is, but not the movie you want it to be.

By the time the dramatic fireworks start popping off, each one feels earned.

Create a world out of near-boundless imagination, fuse real history with fantasy quite seamlessly; make it wacky, silly and ridiculous; add in an impending disaster that takes the lives of people we really care about in an entirely serious and moving manner; make sure you've got actors who do their work with utter conviction; and what have you got? The greatest of all time "Christmas Episode" of Dr Who, that's what.One (most especially, but not only, a British "one") could watch this ten times and still not get all the jokes, or pick up all the allusions; still not fully appreciate the wonder that allows us to move from absurdity to sadness, to comedy, to pithy social comment, to an appreciative recognition of meaningful moments of history, all with utter ease.In short, a cosmos-roaming version of the Titanic - which pays considerable tribute to its original model - is sabotaged and is going down fast, not of course to the sea bottom, but towards Earth, and most especially to a very well-known bit of central London. Every ship-based disaster movie you've ever seen is pastiched here, yet also honoured, with the typical motley crew of survivors trying to get through the vessel to some kind of safety.Seen it before? Not like this you haven't. It's brilliant, witty, yet with a surprisingly high body count among people who skilfully establish themselves as major, multifaceted (and mostly very sympathetic) characters through 5-10 lines of dialogue each. It's truly miraculous how it's all squeezed in, in a storyline that has a great many threads and yet hangs together brilliantly and in a way that offers full satisfaction in just 72 minutes.The establishment of David Tennant's Doctor as a particular kind of superhero (even a "John Wayne of the stars") is complete here, but as ever the greatest episodes of this series are made so by the supporting cast. Here Kylie Minogue does well (without even having to try too hard) as one-off companion Astrid Peth, but there are greater stars even than her, with Clive Swift giving some kind of performance of his life as "Mr Copper" (haters of "Keeping Up Appearances" may now be inclined to forgive all, as did I). Jimmy Vee is great as Bannakaffalatta, but Debbie Chazen and Clive Rowe come over marvellously as the Van Hoff couple. In each case a key message subtle but clear to be picked up by viewers young and old, is that a randomly-selected group of people can gel into a mutually-supporting team with a surprising array of special skills, notwithstanding the (flawed) conviction of pathetic ineffectuality and underachievement they may harbour individually. This may be the episode's most powerful take-home message, but there are a great many more - all worthwhile, and none rammed down our throats in any way at all - this is the least syrupy, least preachy and most worthwhile TV Christmas episode we have seen in a long while.Among the ship's crew - and hence perhaps of secondary importance - we also get fine cameos from accomplished actors Geoffrey Palmer and Andrew Havill, as well as a role that holds the whole thing together from Russell Tovey, as Mr Midshipman Alonso Frame.It's tremendous fun, but also leaves a lasting impression that it has all meant something (this is all the more reinforced by a simply stupendous follow-up in this series's 11th Episode "Turn Left") To sum up, brilliance, brilliance and more brilliance.

Doctor Who is now one of my all time favorite shows (if you look on my profile and "Top 10 TV Shows" list, trust me, both Classic and New Who are there) and that owes no favors for this episode.So the plot technically starts with a short film called Time Crash, the only fond thing about this special, because it has its own IMDb page, sucks for the rest of this special but I'll give you a brief rundown - Doctor runs into past incarnation of Doctor, they bicker as usual, both actors look like they're having fun, they move on. While they got the characterization for Peter Davison's Doctor wrong...its a really great short and its what got me into Classic Who (even though I started with a Tom Baker story, go figure).Anyway, the story begins with a Space Ship thats modeled after The Titanic flying around outside Earth's orbit...so no one watching the sky NOTICES this? It'd be pretty hard to miss and The Doctor goes aboard this ship and befriends Kylie Minogue as an alien Stewardess (to be fair, I won't pick on her acting, partially because I'm not sure how much acting experience she's had and partially because...thats only a small problem) and he meets a couple of other aliens dressed in Cowboy suits because...it was a trick from the snobby aliens who said it was fancy dress...even though THEY'RE wearing Early 1910's dress. Don't think too hard about that. There's also an Earth expert who gets everything wrong played by Richard from Keeping Up Appearances(and thats the height of comedy in this episode...oh what, you thought a story about aliens replicating a space ship out of the Titanic would be completely comedic?), the only alien looking alien called Bavacavalatta (I have no idea if I spelled that right) and a stereotypical "asshole" join The Doctor.Anyway, the General from Tomorrow Never Dies and The World Is Not Enough pilots the Titanic into the path of oncoming meteors mainly because he's mentally flipped. So the goal is that The Doctor has to crawl his way, with the other passengers to the command bridge so they can stop the Titanic falling to Earth (because the WHOLE WORLD needs to be in danger to get emotional investment) while also fighting off "Information Robots" that are in the design of Angels (which, to this special's credit, look really good). Anyway, after a few of them die, The Doctor gives this speech thats supposed to be epic (considering the plot, is THIS where you'd REALLY put an "epic speech"?) and The Doctor asks for the help of one of the other...pilots(?) played by the Werewolf from Being Human and one of the people Russel T. Davies considered for the role of The Doctor after Tennant left (even though I LIKE Russel T Davies...NO! Thats miscasting if ever I've heard it!).Anyway, The Doctor meets up with the robots and he manipulates them into taking him to their leader (and he acts like he's never said that before even though he said that as Christopher Eccleston, the FIRST DOCTOR FROM NEW WHO AND FROM A SCRIPT THIS SAME WRITER WROTE!) and it turns out that the owner of the company who made this trip possible planned for this to happen (yes I remember what the first sentence was of the previous paragraph!) so there could be a major disaster, killing over 6 billion people because he lost controlling interest in the company and this would bring him back because of the sheer loss of lives...even though he's ON the cruise. One wonders why if that was to be a major disaster he planned to happen (even though that would rely on knowing the Captain would flip) why he'd even be in the same star system? If it failed, he could still make a decent case for his company takeover so...I really have nothing on why he's even there.Anyway, Kylie Minogue manages to kill him by driving a forklift into him (he's in a 'head chair', a wheelchair if the person using it was just a head) and even though she could've easily, Kylie doesn't bother to get out of the forklift as she's driving it over the edge (at a whopping speed of 5 miles an hour!) and she dies...anyone that stupid was asking for it. The Doctor goes up to the bridge, saves the Titanic JUST AS it was passing over Buckingham Palace (for some unbearably unfunny moments where the Queen and royal guards are in a panic about The Titanic falling) and he manages to pull up just in time and just as The Queen thanks him, even though, old or new, Elizabeth II has never met any incarnation of The Doctor.This is a really crap story, all around but the cherry on top of the cake is that this episode is dedicated to the memory of Verity Lambert, the first producer of Doctor Who and one of the first Female Producers at the BBC. She was a legend and gave birth to the show as fans know and love it today. And as a personal fan of the William Hartnell era of the show, what she deserved was a story on par with Genesis Of The Daleks, not THIS! This entire episode is BAD! Even by the standards of bad Doctor Who. It would've been laughed out of the writing room in the Colin Baker era and that Doctor had to fight bombs that turn people into trees! Its like one of the writers had a bet that they could get their kid's worst fan fiction of Doctor Who broadcast on Television. Whoever that kid was, I hope he improves as a writer and his father won big.

I love Dr Who Christmas episodes and this one not only met but surpassed my expectations. Yes, we all knew Kylie wouldn't be the next assistant, so her storyline was a tad predictable, but it still had it all - pathos, humour, drama, robot angels, and the doctor finally reclaiming himself and his heritage. Great British actors strutted their stuff and a storyline that embraced and subverted Christmas but still delivered a lovely little Christmas message. Forget all the other Christmas television you get this time of year, the true meaning of Christmas is found in watching the Doctor defeat robots intent on destroying England (thanks goodness I live in Australia)

Another Christmas Day, another Christmas Day 'Dr.Who'. This one was different in that it had the Kylie factor. To be honest, I'm not the world's biggest fan of 'La La La' Minogue. I suppose it stems back to 'Neighbours', a show to which I have a long-term aversion. I can't get squeaky clean 'Charlene' out of my memory banks. Fortunately, she has come a long way since then. The role of 'Astrid Peth' could have been played by anyone, but to her credit she infused it with a fair amount of vitality and warmth. Her demise was never in any doubt ( the production team could never afford her as a regular ), but she got a suitably spectacular exit.As for the plot being ripped off from 'The Poseidon Adventure', well, doesn't that just take the cake? Fancy taking someone else's idea and turning into a 'Dr.Who' script. Russell T.Davies' head should roll for this. Of course this sort of thing never used to happen back in the days of Robert Holmes and Philip Hinchcliffe, when 'The Talons Of Weng-Chiang', 'Planet Of Evil' and 'The Brain Of Morbius' were made. Any resemblance to these and 'Sherlock Holmes', 'Forbidden Planet' and 'Frankenstein' must have been coincidental then.A survivor of the 'Titanic' was quoted in the press as saying that the tragedy should not be used as the basis for entertainment. Fair comment. The thing is Dr.Who's 'Titanic' was a spaceship. Unless there was a spaceship disaster recently that involved robotic angels, cyborg dwarfs, and teleport bracelets, I think we should let the complaint pass.I think what has miffed some fans is that 'Damned' did not take place on the real Titanic, because then they could have savaged R.T.D. for messing up continuity by not having the tenth doctor meet his predecessor ( who was also aboard, if 'Rose' is to be believed ).Being a Christmas Special, 'Damned' had to be spectacular - and was. We've come a long way since the wobbly sets and quarries. The sets and S.F.X. would have done credit to a movie. Everything was BIG. The cast were exceptional too - Clive Swift, Geoffrey Palmer, Bernard Cribbins, George Costigan, and that old thesp Nicholas Witchell. There were some good gags, such as Mr.Copper getting Christmas wrong and London being deserted because the public remembered the events of the previous Christmas Specials. Jessica Martin was The Voice Of The Queen. You have to hand it to her Majesty. The moment she saw the Titanic hurtling towards her, she knew the Doctor had to be involved somewhere.'Damned' pushed all the right buttons; it was funny, thrilling, tragic, suspenseful. Anyone expecting another 'Blink' was a fool. Yes, the plot was thinner than one of my Aunt Doris' After Eight mints, but sweet all the same. Yes, a lot of people died, but then they do in real disaster movies. David Tennant confirmed his status as the best Doctor of them all. His 'I am a Time Lord' speech was electrifying. While the 'fans' pick over the Special like a housewife cutting up the remains of the turkey on Boxing Day, I shall raise a glass of sherry to everyone involved in its making, and bask in the glory of the viewing figures.'Dr.Who' is no longer a 'fans' only show. When I buy D.V.D's, I no longer feel embarrassed, because I know now I am no longer alone in my love for the show. While 'fans' cry into their Tom Baker hats and pretend that the new-look 'Who' is a bad dream, I feel sorry for them because they are missing the best British television in years. Like him or hate him, R.T.D. is part of that success story. Could Steven Moffat have done better than thirteen million viewers? In some strange parallel universe, R.T.D. never existed, 'Dr.Who' did not come back in 2005, and the 'fans' spent this last Christmas Day writing yet more letters begging for its return.