Lockjaw: Rise of the Kulev Serpent (2008)
In the countryside, the boy Alan and his friend Becky steal a creepy wooden box with a powerful voodoo stick inside from his voodooistic neighbor. When the boy draws with the stick, his drunken father is attacked by a snake and vanishes. Years later, Alan and Becky are married to each other; while planting some flowers to celebrate the death of Alan's mother, Becky finds the box buried in the garden and she keeps the stick in her pocket. Meanwhile, five friends are traveling in a monster truck, drinking beer. The driver accidentally runs over Becky, but believes he had hit an animal. When Alan witnesses the hit-and-run and sees his wife dead, he uses the stick seeking revenge against the youngsters.
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Another CGI monstrosity taking the form of a dodgy monster movie. These films tend to be interchangeable from one another and that's the case in point here, it's the kind of film you'll forget you watched just hours after viewing because it brings absolutely nothing new to the table.Instead, the viewer is saddled with rotten characters, an awful script and of course the requisite CGI gore effects which have to be seen to be believed. The story involves some half-baked voodoo theme in which a grieving husband decides to get revenge on some pesky teenagers by summoning a 'Kulev serpent' to get revenge. Said serpent has the body of a giant snake and the head of an alligator and looks like something out of an old Playstation game circa 1998.If that wasn't bad enough, the characters in the film are even more annoying than usual, with characterisation reduced down to the level of a comic book. One supposedly intelligent character has glasses, that's how carefully the characters have been created. Inevitably the cast is full of unknowns - I should think so, given the horrible acting on offer - aside from the down-on-his-luck DMX, playing some kind of big game hunter living out in the wilderness. Another movie to stay away from.
Lockjaw: Rise of the Kulev Serpent's photography is not so bad. That is hardly a consolation, as everything else is and that is an understatement in itself. Lockjaw: Rise of the Kulev Serpent has rather dull lighting and the scenery has little atmosphere or wonder, but they're nothing compared to the truly slipshod special effects. Audibly, it is little better, with a generic and overly-obvious music score and sound effects that manage to undermine the atmosphere, managing to make every bit of suspense or scare predictable instead, instead of adding to it. The dialogue is cheesy and stilted with nothing quotable, while the story is far too heavily padded out, has nothing surprising and brings forward no suspense or any real sense of horror. The snake is nowhere near menacing enough, is used poorly and has no personality, while the direction is at best flat and characterless. The characters are severely underdeveloped and are not likable in the slightest. On top of that, the acting is incredibly wooden from everybody involved, I know that they weren't helped by the writing and their characters but these actors looked as though they weren't even trying. All in all, Lockjaw: Rise of the Kulev Serpent is a terror of a movie and in a bad way. 1/10 Bethany Cox
(aka DMX Carnivorous. That is actual title on version I saw) Kid steals a voodoo pen that will cause what ever is drawn with it to be destroyed by a giant alligator like serpent. years later the pen is used by a man to get revenge on the kids who ran over his wife. Only DMX as the son of the man who had the pen before it was stolen can save the kids. Very silly horror movie that is yet another CGI snake killing people film. Its also a poor rip off of Pumpkinhead and any number of other films you've seen. What can I say this isn't a good movie. the actors try but the monster stuff and the convulsions of the plot work against it. My reaction while watching this was why am I watching this? I didn't know. you know you're in trouble when an 80 minute film seems to be heavily padded. I'd take a pass and avoid this film.
Lockjaw: Rise of the Kulev Serpent starts as a young boy named Alan (Brendan Aguillard) & his friend Becky (Abby Rao) steal the 'Kulev Stick', a powerful ancient Voodoo relic from a house nearby. Back home & Alan uses the stick which is actually a pencil to draw a giant Kulev Serent which comes to life & kills his abusive drunk father (Tony Senzamici). Jump forward a couple of decades later & Alan (Louis Herthum) & Becky (Lisa Arnold), now all grown up, are married. While collecting the post Becky is hit & killed by a huge 4x4 driven by five out of town teens who are on their way to a camp, incandescent with rage Aan uses the Kulev Stick once more to draw the Kulev Serpent who once more comes to life to wreck revenge on those who has wronged him. As the Kulev Serpent sets out to kill the teens only rocket launcher wielding local Voodoo guy Nick (executive producer DMX) can save them & stop the Serpent for good...According to the IMDb this had a working title of The Corn Patch even though character's mention that the setting is in fact a Cane field on several occasions, directed by Amir Valinia I was going to describe Lockjaw: Rise of the Kulev Serpent as the sort of 'Creature Feature' that even the Sci-Fi Channel would be embarrassed to show but then I realised that the Sci-Fi Channel will show anything without any embarrassment but I will say it's pretty much right down there with the worst 'Creature Features' the Sci-Fi Channel has screened. The script is a bit of a mess really, for a start I don't care what anyone says I do not believe that you could hit a woman with a car & not one of the five people inside notice. How did Alan know what to draw? At the start he seemingly stole this Kulev Stick which is in fact a pencil & drew the Kulev Serpent in intricate detail with his father in it's mouth which actually happens in reality but how did Alan know this would happen? A lucky guess or just bad plain dumb plotting? You decide. Then there's this 'camp' that the teens apparently drive to, it doesn't look anything like a camp at all, it's a farmhouse in the middle of a Cane field! Then there's the DMX character who is a bad-ass Voodoo dude with a rocket launcher, I can see an Oscar nomination coming his way... The pace isn't too bad & at least it's short lasting not much more than 80 minutes but as a whole the silly plot, the clichéd & often annoying character's, the lack of horror or gore, a poor climax (what it that lamp with forks stuck on the end all about that Sam carries about?) & a lack of originality means you can skip this one.At least the director keeps the camera still & steady as well as not using any annoying colour filters or bleaches so it looks alright if a little cheap. The CGI effects are quite poor by they are used sparingly & don't linger on screen for too long which does help. I think this is the only film I have ever seen where the first credit on screen is the 'directed by' one, even before the title of the film & the cast the 'directed by' credit comes up which is odd because it's almost always the last. It really doesn't make any sort of difference but it's so unusual I thought I would mention it. There's next to no gore, a brief impalement & a decapitation but nothing else. There's no nudity or scares either but then you probably guessed that already.According to the IMDb this had a budget of about $4,000,000 which I find impossible to believe, this is not a $4,000,000 film & if it is where did all the money go? It looks cheap, there are few effects, no big name actors & no set-pieces either. Apparently shot in Port Allen in Louisiana. Despite DMX getting top billing he barely features & only really appears at the end while Wes Brown is not the same as the current Manchester United & England international footballer Wes Brown.Lockjaw: Rise of the Kulev Serpent is a pretty rock bottom 'Creature Feature' with the usual poor CGI, an even sillier than usual plot, lack of proper blood, gore or action & a highly annoying teen cast who you pray will all get killed off by the twenty minute mark. This is just poor all round really & is right down there with the rubbish the Sci-Fi Channel usually put on.