Sorority House Massacre (1986)

Truly Dreadful Film

In truth, there is barely enough story here to make a film.

It’s not bad or unwatchable but despite the amplitude of the spectacle, the end result is underwhelming.

While it doesn't offer any answers, it both thrills and makes you think.

Which one was this? I can't really remember. I do, however, know it was the movie where they hire a lot of women and require them all to take their clothes off.I recall a shower scene in there somewhere. But that could be a different movie exactly like this one.And then I remember the women running around screaming in undies that are really only worn in the bedroom.Was there a plot? Not really, it was just an excuse for nudity and undies.But, you already knew all of that when you sat down to watch this. Because, honestly in film making, they aren't really trying to pass it off as anything other than an excuse to film young naked breasts and you don't really get anything but that.So, why are you reading this? You know exactly what this movie is about. You knew that before you even clicked on this review.But, at least the review is as honest as the movie.If you are expecting more than that, there is something seriously wrong with you.

This tiresome slasher yarn is lacking in wit, sophistication, originality, action or quality; all of the reasons you would want to watch a movie in the first place. Why did I decide to rent this film in the first place if it was so bad, you may ask. Well firstly the box art - many a time I have been suckered into seeing a film because of the cool box art. Secondly, I found this on the Medusa label, and there used to be a lot of interesting films on that label. Sadly this is not one of them. The best thing about the movie is the title, although sadly there isn't a "massacre" of any sort really.Sure enough, the film opens with lots of p.o.v. camera-work and tinkly music. The plot in a nutshell is that teens are terrorised at night by a killer who has escaped from an asylum and turns out to be the brother of the lead. I'm surprised Moustapha Akkad didn't sue the makers of this HALLOWEEN rip-off. Then again as Roger Corman is behind this movie nothing would surprise me. What happened to that guy anyway? He started off by paving the way for the genres with his enjoyable B-movies of the late '50s, and has ended up producing all sorts of rubbish in his later years. The film is very cheap-looking, and in particular has some really bad sets which just look plain wrong. The most imagination is summoned in a dream sequence in which the lead discovers a load of weird life like dolls sitting around a dinner table, but that's it. Otherwise its business as usual with lots of irritating teens talking, messing around, and a bad guy picking them off one by one (in the last twenty minutes that is).Watching a film in which teenage girls talk about the reasons for their hairstyles and try on various items of hideous '80s clothing isn't my ideal choice for an evening's entertainment, although the latter event is merely a gratuitous opportunity to throw in some extra nudity from the girls. With Roger Corman I wasn't surprised, although a scene later on in the film with a nude man was pretty shocking. The acting is awful, the cast bland and wooden, but that doesn't matter anyway as the script is rubbish to begin with. In an asylum scene one of the orderlies has some funny lines but that's about as unintentionally funny as the script gets and only provides a few chuckles here and there.What else is there of note? In one scene characters watch HUMANOIDS FROM THE DEEP on television, another Corman reference and the film's nicest surprise. Is it scary? Nope, because the killer is just an ordinary Joe who you've passed on the street a million times. He becomes indestructible at the end of the film, but that just serves to drag out the running time even more, so that the last ten minutes drags like two hours. Watch out for a hilarious moment where the killer dives in through a window. On the first floor. Is he pals with Superman or something? So, in the end, SORORITY HOUSE MASSACRE is the bane of American '80s cinema, and a fine example of the trash that the slasher genre spawned. There isn't even the saving benefit of any gore for the horror fans, as the oh-so-imaginative killings are reduced to repeated non-bloody stabbings. This is a film ridden with annoying flashbacks, silly slow-motion dream sequences and false scares, and isn't to be recommended to your worst enemy. It's not even funny-bad. It's just boring.

"Sorority House Massacre" does have some things going for it, although in the end it doesn't stand out from other slasher offerings during this time. (Not that some aficionados of the genre should mind all that much.) It's got blood, and it's got some breast shots, but it might not be exploitative enough to suit some tastes. What it does have is some good atmosphere, and occasionally it's slicker than expected, with a particularly tense scene involving a ladder. The nightmare sequences are reasonably well realized, and the girls in the story are not quite your typical slasher movie airheads. That doesn't mean that the dialogue isn't groan inducing at times, or that its delivery is any better. Still, when we watch something like this we come to expect a degree of crudeness and cheesiness, and this movie does succeed in that regard; it's even got a requisite dopey 80s style montage.Troubled girl Beth (Angela O'Neill) comes to visit her friends at a sorority house, while being plagued by visions of a stone faced psychotic creep, Bobby (John C. Russell), who'd murdered his family and has been locked up in a mental hospital. Naturally, the creep escapes, and Beth and her friends (and their boyfriends) will eventually be terrorized and slaughtered.There are enough amusing, titillating, and suspenseful moments to make this palatable viewing. Writer / director Carol Frank, in her only feature credit, does keep the story moving, and like so much of the Concorde catalogue, it clocks in at a very trim running time, in this case 74 minutes. The music by Michael Wetherwax is quite good and there are some efficient "prowling camera" sequences.If one simply can't get enough of this sort of thing, they could do worse than "Sorority House Massacre".Six out of 10.

This movie is so bad - that it's actually entertaining. If you love the 80's - the bad hair, the bad clothes, the bad acting - then is for you. The lead actress - she certainly wont be accused of overacting - she literally had just one facial expression no matter what was happening. I watched it all in disbelief. The scenes in the mental clinic were a joke. I literally thought they were kidding. I am so sorry that this review has such a negative tone - but I just had to write this - even if nobody ever reads it - I will feel as though I have helped humanity a little bit. Easily one of the worst slasher movies I have ever seen. So of course I want to see it again.