The Lake on Clinton Road (2015)

If you don't like this, we can't be friends.

As somebody who had not heard any of this before, it became a curious phenomenon to sit and watch a film and slowly have the realities begin to click into place.

Easily the biggest piece of Right wing non sense propaganda I ever saw.

One of the worst ways to make a cult movie is to set out to make a cult movie.

RELEASED IN 2015 and written & directed by DeShon Hardy, "The Lake on Clinton Road" chronicles events at the titular lake in remote New Jersey when three college couples go to a vacation home to celebrate. Things go horrible awry when they discover that the rumors of the lake being haunted are real. The low ratings & reviews are inaccurate because this is a cogent cabin-in-the-woods flick. While it may be a low-budget indie with a no-name cast, the acting is convincing and the creepiness & scares are genuine. Moreover, the score is effective (with the soundtrack throwing in some rap sheet). The six youths travel to their isolated destination in typical celebration mode, but their frivolity palpably changes by the second half. People complain that they're an obnoxious bunch, but that's not true. They're just young adults out celebrating. So what? We've all done it. The two football guys (Richard Ryker & Anthony Grant) are great masculine role models, disregarding the customary cussing. They have good camaraderie, treat their women well, and don't abuse the chubby white guy, their amusing pal. Ryker is particularly a strong masculine protagonist. Speaking of the women, the director has a good eye for depicting feminine beauty without getting too tasteless. Leah Jones is mind-blowingly voluptuous while petite brunette Stephanie Marrone ain't no slouch; nor is the black girl for that matter (India Autry). The bottom line is: The movie works well for what it is. It contains all the requisite staples and works them expertly into an entertaining brew. I'd watch this any day over the cartoonish "The Evil Dead" (1981), the over-the-top comical "Evil Dead II" (1987), the trashy "Cabin Fever" (2002), the lame "Zombeavers" (2014) or the too-creative-for-its-own-good "Cabin in the Woods" (2012).There's a curiously overlong epilogue tacked-on after the end credits that's at least three times as long as it needed to be. I think the director just wanted to give some screen time to the two 12 year-old girls in the back seat, who are probably related to him. In any case, it shows a fresh group of giddy youths just before they're humbled big time; humbled or dead, whatever. THE MOVIE RUNS 1 hour, 20 minutes and was shot in Marlton, New Jersey & Bellefonte, Pennsylvania. GRADE: B+

Three young couples go to a cabin in the woods, cue spinner.....ghosts. Yes the house and lake are haunted. The movie combines the hand held genre with regular bad filming. Ghosts suddenly jump from one location to the next. Actors did a good job at looking as being dragged when there is no one there. Jillian (Leah Jones) did the possessed contortionist scene and she seems to have a connection based on her protection necklace.The acting ranged from bad to fair with a lot of wasted footage of the gang traveling to the house which was not on a beach. Things start to happen at 40 minutes, the half way point. If you liked the Paranormal series and those other "go nowhere" hand held camera films, this one feels just like those.Guide: Plenty of F-bombs. Near/implied sex. Nudity (Stephanie Marrone, India Autry)

Okay, where to start with this movie. Well the story had potential, so there is that. I'm giving this a 1 because of the acting. I've seen a lot of bad movies because I'm a fan of B rated horror. The actors in this movie however are something else. It wasn't so much the bad acting, all though there is a lot of that. It was more the just incredibly terrible dialogue and the delivery of that dialogue. I don't even know how to describe it. The Jersey shore type talking and yelling is so annoying that you find yourself waiting for someone to show up and kill all the main characters, and you are looking forward to it. If the directors vision was to create a movie with an okay horror story, but make the audience hate every single character, mission accomplished.

The real horror is how plane is the movie, how bad actors feature, and a story that never really develops, or the lack of an introduction that makes sense to begin with. Is like watching an MTV episode of Jersey Shore, or the fist attempt to film form an old director of music videos....from a terrible band, that does n't cut as a one hot wonder. The characters never act like normal people wold do facing the loss of a friend, or a boyfriend. We never get to know exactly what happened to the kid. Weird how one by one they fall, but never really know what they experience. Just a succession of mornings and night with nothing to do but drink, have sex, and barely think if they should or should not do anything about that weirdly missing friend.