Monsturd (2003)

You won't be disappointed!

It's funny watching the elements come together in this complicated scam. On one hand, the set-up isn't quite as complex as it seems, but there's an easy sense of fun in every exchange.

If the ambition is to provide two hours of instantly forgettable, popcorn-munching escapism, it succeeds.

Fanciful, disturbing, and wildly original, it announces the arrival of a fresh, bold voice in American cinema.

So I finally got around to watching this, curiosity was just murdering the cat, for reasons that I just don't know why. Surprisingly, this movie was not as bad as the under 4 star rating this is currently pulling, I am giving it a five star review, hands down. Let's just say that the title of this movie alone will easily segregate who would want to see it, and who wouldn't, and those who want to see it, I can say that you more then likely will not be disappointed at all. Let's face it, it is possible to make a very good, but BAD movie, and that is exactly what you are in for with this...a good bad movie. Shockingly, for a budget way under five grand, I think they did a pretty damn good job putting this film together. Your 80 minutes of fun begins with a little girl who gets scared, tucked in bed, and wants daddy to tell her a bedtime story before she slumbers off, however, daddy is tired of telling stories, he challenges his daughter to tell her one, and so she does...it's a story about Jack Schmidt, who escapes from prison, and wanders off in the sewage tunnels of Butte County ( Oh, yes, pay attention, the puns are endless in this one!) Unfortunately for him, he is not alone, as he is being tracked by the police and FBI, who are hot on his tail. When an unknown substance is dumped in the sewers intentionally by a couple of workers from the plant after an incident gone horribly wrong, the chemicals bode very well with Jack, dissolving him into a skeletal mess. The toxic has worked in his favor, and he is now a fecal waste killing nightmare in the neighborhoods of ( don't make me say it again!) the county. The cops quickly catch on to who he is, what he has become, and do everything they can to stop the brown monster from creeping up a toilet of any man, woman, or child who dares to relieve themselves. This won't be easy, and why would it, that would make a quick ending for this party fest! You are obviously in for a long line of poop jokes ( you gotta be sh*tting me, don't get caught with your pants down written in feces on the wall, etc, etc, you'll get used to it, trust me.) and silly, funny deaths, but what else were you expecting, yes? All in all, I found this movie a pretty good catch, and well worth the watch. At 80 minutes, it knows not to overstay its welcome, which makes it all the better.

Monsturd is set in Butte County, California where convicted serial killer Jack Schmidt (Brad Dosland) has just escaped from 'Hardell Maximum Security Prison', cut to 'FBI Field Office Sacremento' where agent Susan Hannigan (Beth West) is told to fly out to Butte County & work with Sheriff Tom Duncan (Paul Weiner) in the apprehension of Schmidt. Meanwhile evil genetic 'Dutech' scientist Dr. Stern (Dan Burr) has disposed of his latest failed experiment down the County's sewer system so when Schmidt hides in the sewers & accidentally falls into a vat of this chemical waste it comes as no surprise that he transforms, his genes & the poo in the sewers are all mixed together & mutated by the chemical which creates the Monsturd, a creature made totally out of human poo. Soon after a spate of incidents are reported in which people are killed on their toilets alerts the Sheriff & together with Susan quickly figure out what's going on. They join forces to destroy the Monsturd although their task isn't help by the towns annual Chilli Cook Off which will force people to use the toilet & literally become sitting ducks(!), will the Monsturd be stopped in time...Written, directed & starring Rick Popko & Dan West Monsturd is a unique film, probably. Whether you like Monsturd will depend on your sense of humour I would guess, if you like juvenile tasteless toilet humour Monsturd is for you, if not then it most certainly isn't & it's as simple & straight forward as that. Personally I have that childish mentality & immature sense of humour which meant that I thought Monsturd was really funny in parts as there are plenty of poo jokes & double entendres, from being set in Butte County to someone trying to trap the Monsturd using peanuts, corn & farting noises as bait along with people dressed in diapers as armour & devising a plan to unleash a million flies onto the Monsturd so they will eat him! Yes folks this is quality & highly intellectual stuff all the way! Monsturd moves along at a nice pace & at only 80 odd minutes long it doesn't outstay it's welcome & thankfully never takes itself seriously. As a whole the film is very silly & doesn't have much of a story, the character's are basic as is the dialogue which is littered with swearing but sometimes you need to hold your hands up & say even though a film has no real artistic or social merit it sure as hell is funny & entertaining & I'd say Monsturd fits that bill perfectly. I liked it, so sue me.Directors Popko & West give themselves all the best lines as the two bumbling deputies & considering the budget this had I thought they did a pretty decent job overall. In one way I was disappointed that the film was actually more restrained than I would have liked, they really should have piled on the gross humour, fart gags & poo jokes, while they are here there not as offencive as you might think. The only gore is when some mutilated body parts are discovered complete with wriggling maggot's & worms. The Monsturd itself looks rather silly & a bit too, erm, solid if you know what I mean. Apparently the original title for this was Number 2 Part 1 which I think is quite funny in itself, toilet humour don't you just love it?With a supposed budget of about $3,000 the filmmakers did absolute wonders & to it's credit it is at least competent, the locations are good & it looks alright. The acting isn't up to much but I've seen a lot worse in far bigger budget films.Monsturd definitely isn't a film for everyone, of that there is no doubt but I found it perfectly good, childish, funny, gross out entertainment that brought a smile to my face on more than a few occasions. I simply have to mention the closing theme song as it's absolutely hilarious & worth an extra star on it's own, here's a quick sample...'I'm here to warn you although it must seem absurd, to be aware of a giant Monsturd...' 'When the s*it goes down he may be in your town, don't get caught with your pants down...' 'Don't be a fool don't drop the kids at the pool, oh yeah he's one cruel stool...' 'Number two he does what dodo's do...' Number two he smells like poo...' 'Silent but deadly you'd better beware, he might just be in your underwear...'Total class, what more needs to be said? The best killer poo film ever, period.

This is a thoroughly enjoyable movie inasmuch as it never takes itself seriously.It's full of sight gags, burlesque and double entendre throughout. This is truly a send-up of all B-horror movies.I read about the film makers and it appears they wanted to make a film something like "Jack Frost," but with a "character" that was 180 degrees apart from the sanitary Jack.***SPOILERS*** Don't miss the bit with the ventriloquist dummy and take note of the name of the serial killer.Well done and entertaining. A "don't-miss" for any aficionado of satire.

This movie was a real trip. To see people actually get terrorized by something that sometimes is hard to pass (ha,ha) anyway is something to see.My Husband and I live for movies like this. Movies that you just expect to be bad but, have some funny or memorable moments in it so you can't forget it. One the one hand you have actors trying to break in the business by playing in these types of movies and have no acting experience so the expressions are to die for. The most memorable line in the movie is when the little girl sees Monsturd and goes to tell her father. When the father tries to go in the bathroom the little girl replies,"Don't go in there daddy the doo doo will get you". I was rolling in the floor. This movie is only for the strong at stomach.