Valerie on the Stairs (2006)

Strong and Moving!

Pretty Good

Ok... Let's be honest. It cannot be the best movie but is quite enjoyable. The movie has the potential to develop a great plot for future movies

There are moments that feel comical, some horrific, and some downright inspiring but the tonal shifts hardly matter as the end results come to a film that's perfect for this time.

This episode had some great high points, for instance, the surprise appearance by Christopher Lloyd, but all in all, this episode just felt sloppy. Sloppy direction, sloppy acting from the lead character, who was decidedly out-shone by his co-stars. Seeing Tony Todd was great, but he was utterly underutilized. The special effects were sloppy, but I blame that more on the fact it's a television episode than anything else.My verdict? I'd love to see a full-length adaptation of this story, but this one was rather middle-of-the road and a bit disappointing. I just feel as if so much more could have been done with such a thrilling plot, and most of it fell short.

Although I'll always be grateful to Mick Garris for creating the overall awesome "Masters of Horror" franchise, I can't help thinking his two directorial contributions to the series rank amongst the least memorable ones. Moreover, both the first season's episode "Chocolate" and this "Valerie on the Stairs" make the exact same mistakes. The story is definitely ambitious but the build up is far too slow and hence the mini-movie lacks a whole lot of spectacle. Also, the script is a little too implausible and immature to take serious. This certainly isn't the first story about fictional horror novel characters coming to life and committing atrocities ("I, Madman", "Death by Dialogue", "In the Mouth of Madness") but I actually like none of them. These sort of movies always begin atmospherically, with ghostly apparitions and hallucinations, but the scripts gradually become so preposterous and absurd. The only thing I really like about "Valerie on the Stairs" is the setting. The short movie takes place in a home for unpublished authors. Do those really exist? What a depressing place to live that must be! The young but unsuccessful novelist Rob Hanisey is initially very glad when there's a vacancy, as this provides him with a little more financial breathing space, but pretty soon he gets a lot more than he bargained for. Almost promptly after his arrival, Rob has visions of a beautiful naked girl on the stairs calling for help, but naturally we're led to believe it's all in his imagination. The other residents, including the awesome Christopher Lloyd and the MILF personified Suki Kaiser, in particular pretend that Rob is a bona fide loser, but they definitely know more about the mysterious wench on the stairs and her monstrous lover in the walls. "Valerie on the Stairs" is dull and derivative, with an overload of false scares and predictable red herrings. Flat direction from Mick Garris and unremarkable acting performances make this one of the most mediocre episodes of the entire franchise, alongside "The V-Word" and "The Damned Thing".

Everyone is a critic on this site, which is probably an ironic first line for me to start this review with. But if you've found this title, then you're probably into horror, and you're probably willing to approach this film different than other people.This film is good. The acting is great for horror, good for any other genre. The technical aspects are not so cheesy that it alienates the viewers, and the plot is wonderful. The characters and the story make for a great time watching this film. Compared to the rest of the series, this film stands out as one of the best. It's an even more enjoyable watch because the characters are self-aware of their situation, and if you're a writer yourself or just enjoy the process of the creation of art, then you'll chuckle at a lot of the quick exchanges between the characters.I think that everything in this film is really well done. The violence, the makeup, the characters, the sex, all of it is appropriate and poignant. If you're into horror, this is a definite must see. If you're not into horror, then this is a film that is a good hour of entertainment. Either way, this film is good and certainly does not deserve any slams that it has been given.

I have always considered Mick Garris one of our most undervalued genre directors. He has understood Stephen King's prose well enough to make excellent TV adaptations of "The Stand," "Desperation," and "The Shining" (cleaning up Stanley Kubrick's nauseatingly overpraised mess-terpiece); his most simultaneously renowned and scorned creation may be the "Masters of Horror" anthology series, cited as maddeningly uneven by some, and fulfilling to others. If you can't tell already, I was a fan of Garris's Season 1 entry (the much-derided 'Chocolate'), and am now an even bigger fan of 'Valerie on the Stairs,' a showcase of storytelling (about storytelling, no less) that truly earns the praise given to a 'master.' Working from a story treatment by Clive Barker, Garris tells the tale of Highberger House, a place seemingly dusted with antiquity, where struggling writers can stay rent-free until their work gets published. Rob Hanisey (Tyler Leitso) secures a room after the previous tenant commits suicide, and quickly forges a negative rapport with the other residents when he begins having visions of an ethereal beauty named Valerie (the smoldering Clare Grant), imprisoned by the appetites of The Beast (Tony Todd under a mountain of makeup and latex). The cast (also featuring Christopher Lloyd in a good supporting role) is excellent, and Garris foments fear through the use of imposing high- and low-angle shots, matched with frequently tight and confining framing. Most importantly, he really understands Barker's fascination with multiple layers of reality, other dimensions getting a foothold, and the power of sexual desire intertwined with human imagination. Garris also takes many opportunities to show off the surprising, cynical humor that has punctuated his previous films (Rob's initial meeting with the landlord, and a middle-aged Southern woman complaining of having her "pleasure interrupted" are two gems among many). But in the end, 'Valerie' is really about the art and craft of writing--in many ways, it is a clever salute to the form, something this Garris/Barker collaboration conveys beautifully. One of the best episodes of the series.7.5 out of 10