Carnivore (1989)

Such a frustrating disappointment

Just what I expected

I wanted to but couldn't!

Good concept, poorly executed.

What majority of everyone else above my review have explained...the acting is horrible and the movie isn't scary at all. Carnivore is just a corny movie more than anything else. I am far from an actress, but I am sure I can act better than majority of the people that are in this film. I cannot believe that this movie was even released for the public's view as it belongs in the trash. What made me curious to look up additional was the fact that Wally-World was selling an 8-movie disc for only $5.00! I was curious to know why. Now the mystery has been solved.All of the movies on the disc are on the same level...horrible. Save your time, money and energy as this movie isn't worth it.

A government experiment goes horribly wrong when their animal test subject escapes and goes on a killing rampage within the house it was stored in. It just so happens that a group of teenagers show up in the house with beer and sex on the mind. The beast decides to eat them one by one...until there is nothing left.I saw this title in the bin for five dollars, normally if I were to get a crappy flick for five dollars I wouldn't care. Although, here we have Carnivore, and I think I should not only get my five dollars back, but a dollar for every god for shaken minute that I had to sit through this piece of garbage. Having the 85 dollars won't make me any happier, or even make me forget Carnivore...but it's the least the makers of this film could do.Some titles that have made me want to put a bullet through my head include: Rollerball, Envy, Belly, Introducing Janet, Son of Mask, SuperBabies: Baby Geniuses 2 and anything from Uwe Boll. But I would gladly watch those films over this any day. I know there are those of you out there that can't believe this, won't believe this, but it's true. This film is that bad and it warrants the TURD AWARD, for WORST FILM EVER!!!!The audio is so horribly bad, it fades in and out throughout the entire running time. I had the volume up full and still had a hard time hearing things. This accompanied by the total darkness the film is covered in makes this a treat for the eyes and the ears. I know that there are films with low budgets, but this is lower then student film quality. There are many crappy B horror films out there that I don't like all too much, Basketcase being a prime example, but I respect it on some level. I can't bring myself to like anything in this film. The one and only part in this film, other then the useless nudity that accompanies these horny filmmakers, is one death scene. It was horrible, but horrible is a step up from what this movie offers.Should I even mention the acting? It is obvious to anyone that in a film like Carnivore you'll be served some laughable people on the screen. Alas, Carnivore manages to give us something completely horrendous then you wish to watch a film with Carrot Top and Paulie Shore as a comedic duo. That's right I went there. The script, if there was ever one, is inane. A secret government organization is in the basement of a house, and the entire government experiment consists of one or two scientists. I can't remember how many there were and I don't want to. Also, correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe that the Carnivore, which is basically a fur ball with legs, drinks beer. At least it didn't end up having sex with anything....poor Basketcase. Finally, Carnivore makes a film like Campfire Tales look like The Godfather. Everything you can possibly think of is wrong with this film. Did they even try? Well it doesn't appear so here and please god, if anyone has the unfortunate task of watching this film, let them die quickly.

It's very cheesy and very dumb for sure, with a couple of takes to the camera, but I still thoroughly enjoyed it. There's some creative gore and nice nudity that didn't just amount to a stabbing and a flash. You've got total dismemberment and skin pulling off the face leaving the skeleton and along with nudity some rubbing and sucking. That's not standard horror fair.I found Carnivore to be a time capsule to the end of the 80's and above my expectations. This is a bottom of the barrel indie flix, but they put together a monster suit that's not just store bought, designed a lab and built a haunted house from scratch. This is some inventive indie film making.I'd ultimately rank this a step below mediocre, it's much more entertaining then a lot of other garbage out there like Hobgoblins or anything by the Polonia Brothers. If you give this flix a score of 1 I don't think you were being very realistic with your expectations. All it really needs is a few more kills to make it really decent.

POSSIBLE SPOILER... not that it matters here...I love horror movies. I love slasher flicks. I love all manner of violent, horrific, cheesy, bloody, gory movie anyone can muster.... Generally. This is, thus far, the crappiest movie I have yet seen. It actually has no redeeming value. The creature appears to be a crappy costume cross between a Ghoulie and the big Critter from the first Critters film. It looks plasticy and cheap and really unscary. The whole thing appears to have been filmed on a camera someone puked on or at the very least, a VHS camera that someone dropped... down a staircase... into vomit. It's grainy and ugly and appears to have been filmed in the early 70's. The date I found for it's making was actually 2000, and there is a dumb-ass reference to a movie made in 1992 (I don't recall which movie) which would add to the belief that this crapfest is more recent than it looks. The movie doesn't seem to have any cohesive plot at all and some of the worst acting imaginable. There's a quick breast shot and a shot of the, uh, "monster" ripping someone's organs out and throwing them all over a room that didn't suck too bad, but they still don't make this worth seeing or buying for that matter. It seems to take place in an old house with a lab hidden in the basement with the creature and a scientist--who apparently have lived there a very long time, but the movie at times seems to take place entirely within a week, and yet there are cotton webs, er cobwebs everywhere! How on earth did this house get covered with webs and fall into disarray within a week? It never really seems evident. Then some teenagers go in the house for hanky-panky--didn't see that one coming did yah? I'll save you the suspense, as the nerdiest guy is the hero. And yes, it actually did hurt to find that out. Then some chick with two bodyguards of some sort go into the house and one of the guys is pointlessly psychotic shooting at whatever he pleases with, believe it or not, an Uzi. That's right, the most over-used, stereotypical 'bad-ass' weapon of 80's action flicks. I think real bodyguards would carry, you know, a degree of intelligence-which these two never showcase. The movie was so god-awful boring that I started falling asleep a third of the way through, but I stayed awake so I could see just how crappy it was. I want my 80-odd minutes back and so will you if you waste your time with it. STAY AWAY!!www.ResidentHazard.com