Hillbillys in a Haunted House (1967)

A film of deceptively outspoken contemporary relevance, this is cinema at its most alert, alarming and alive.

By the time the dramatic fireworks start popping off, each one feels earned.

This is a gorgeous movie made by a gorgeous spirit.

This film is so real. It treats its characters with so much care and sensitivity.

Of the 13 feature films in which John Carradine and Lon Chaney both appeared, 1967's "Hillbillys in a Haunted House" was not only the last, it was one of the few where they actually shared any scenes (shot under the working title "Ghost Party"). Joined in villainy by a game, 74 year old Basil Rathbone, the three actors offer the only real novelty to this tired rehash of old dark house clichés, dragged down by its abundance of country music. A sequel to the successful "Las Vegas Hillbillys" (note the spelling!), retaining stars Ferlin Husky and Don Bowman, but replacing the absent Jayne Mansfield with the equally photogenic Joi Lansing. En route to Nashville for a good old fashioned jamboree, the trio break down and have to spend the night in a house that's not really haunted; its actually the home base for spies trying to steal a top secret formula from a local rocket base. John Carradine alternately scowls and grimaces as Dr. Himmil, when he's not mercilessly teasing the gorilla Anatole belonging to Lon Chaney's Maximillian, who goes undercover by getting past an unsuspecting janitor (all he gets for his trouble is a formula combining nitroglycerin and antihistamine!). As Gregor, Basil Rathbone shares most of his scenes with Carradine, using phony ghosts and noises to try to scare off their dimwitted intruders, whom they mistake for agents from M.O.T.H.E.R. (Master Organization to Halt Enemy Resistance). A genuine ghost closes out the spy stuff at 67 minutes, leaving the final two reels open for yet more musical numbers. Chaney is clearly having a grand time, and Rathbone too, while poor Carradine has to remain sullen for the most part, fewer opportunities to be funny (he did enjoy stealing Anatole's banana!). As bad as the film's reputation is, consider how much worse it would have been without its heavyweight cast of screen villains.

*Spoiler/plot- 1967, Country singers spend a night in an old mansion and become involved in a spy ring.*Special Stars- Joi Lansing, John Caradine, Sonny James, Merle Haggard, Lon Chaney Jr.*Theme- Watch out for those road trips.*Based on- Beverly Hillbillies and country musician's myths.*Trivia/location/goofs- Very sad to say Basil Rathbone's last film role.*Emotion- Moronic comedy with an elderly tired cast of over-the-hill stars.

Criticizing "Hillbillys in a Haunted House" (yes, that's really the way "Hillbillys" is spelled) might seem like shooting fish in a barrel, but even by 1960s grind-house standards, this picture is dreadful. In fact, I think Ed Wood can breathe a little easier wherever he is, knowing that THIS is really the worst movie ever made. Only one scene involving Lon Chaney, Jr., and a murder has any kind of impact, but it doesn't really belong in the picture, since that it is played straight, and the rest of this mess is farcical. Much has been made about the star trio of fading horror stars, but actually seeing them here is truly sad. Chaney tries to inject some life, but it's pretty hopeless (this same year Chaney was featured in a good big-budget Western, "Welcome to Hard Times," and was a semi-regular on TV's "Pistols and Petticoats," so did he REALLY need the money that bad?). John Carradine phones it in, apparently not having bothered to read the script beforehand (in once scene he calls Basil Rathbone "George" when the character's name is really "Gregor"). It is poor Rathbone, however, who elicits the highest cringe rating. Clearly ailing, his speech is slightly slurred as he struggles to get the maimed dialogue out. The Country Western leads are inept, with someone named Don Bowman, ostensibly the comic relief, taking the Unfunniest Man Alive award away from Fidel Castro, and Ferlin Husky grimacing so mightily as he goes for the high notes that it looks like a tribute to Chaney transforming into a werewolf. Joi Lansing is awful, but an eyeful, and Linda Ho is so amateurish that she should have had her SAG card revoked. The plot involves spies, a "haunted" house, a gorilla in the basement, really dumb comedy, even dumber characters, and far too many musical numbers, which means it could have been made in the mid 1940s (with largely the same cast!), and they might have gotten away with it. But coming a year before "Rosemary's Baby," it's just pathetic. If you want to see the nadir, knowing that you'll probably never see anything worse, then watch it.

How can you possibly resist a movie that opens with three yokels in a convertible car – complete with horns on the radiator and driving in front of obviously fake background locations – cheerfully singing stuff like "We're on our way … to Tennessee … to the jamboree"? And if you're a true horror fanatic, I simply know you won't be able to resist the sight of Lon Chaney, John Carradine, Basil Rathbone and a random guy in a hideous gorilla suit! Welcome to "Hillbillys in a Haunted House". Barely ten minutes and four more incredibly campy songs later, however, it's painfully and permanently made clear that this is not a horror movie at all, but merely just a musical intended to kick-start the career of a handful of country singing hicks. The sequences with the aforementioned horror legends are clearly shot in one day and clumsily edited into the story afterwards. After a while, the makers don't even bother anymore to put the songs into a certain context but just place on of the characters in front of a TV as he's watching another guy singing. This goes on for two integral songs in a row, by the way. That's roughly ten minutes of footage showing the picture in picture of a farmer crooning "somebody told my story in a song". Can you imagine they lured young and enthusiast horror buffs to the drive-in theaters with this sort of stuff? The trailers and posters presumably promised monsters & mayhem, but what they got was lame singing! I hope plenty of displeased moviegoers vandalized the cinemas, ha! And yet, the singing might be awful, but when the movie attempts to narrate a story it's even more horrendous. The horror guys, Rathbone and company, are conducting secret gorilla experiments in their secluded country mansion, but they're afraid of spies from the government agency called M.O.T.H.E.R. When the three singing yokels trespass the place to spend the night they're mistaken for spies, especially when all their tricks of scaring them away with carnival attraction gimmicks fail. The film benefices from highly intellectual dialogs ("I never won any bravery contests") and masterful special effects like plastic skeletons and bed sheets ironed in the shape of ghosts. Lead actress Joi Lansing's character is named Boots, but considering the impressive pair of blouse bunnies she sticks forward, they should have named her Boobs instead. In case you fear you will be too petrified by the realism of the special effects, I'll gladly ruin the ending for you: the bad guys are captured into a trap and our heroes at the jamboree in time to win the talent contest. Surprised? Oh, and as a bonus, there are four more integrally shown country concerts at the end for your cultural viewing pleasure.