Invasion From Inner Earth (1974)

Sadly Over-hyped

Overrated and overhyped

I cannot think of one single thing that I would change about this film. The acting is incomparable, the directing deft, and the writing poignantly brilliant.

Funny, strange, confrontational and subversive, this is one of the most interesting experiences you'll have at the cinema this year.

It's the end of the world with aliens invading and a mysterious plague spreading! But don't worry, Bill Rebane is here, he'll make sure things don't get scary or exciting or even interesting. You're trapped in a cabin with the most boring people in the world (maybe being dull is some kind of immunity?). Occasionally we'll cut away, once to a smarmy talk-show guy who prattles on cheerfully about the plague before introducing his befuddled guests, then to a bar with a comical drunk, and a couple of times to a bad DJ and some fleeing crowds. Most of the time, though, we're stuck with these terrible actors. The guy with the beard, seriously, he's just flat-out awful. When he tries to be romantic or funny, he makes the whole universe worse. Couple that with special effects that must have cost eighty-five cents, the most inappropriate music cues ever (I never knew one of those New Year's noisemakers meant "suspense"), dialog that makes you want to strangle your ears, and aliens who ask "How are you?" over the radio. There are two reasons to watch this: the first is the music over the titles. It's such a jaw-droppingly blatant rip-off of Ennio Morricone's "The Good, The Bad and the Ugly" theme that you'll be glad you heard it, just so you can believe it. The second is the ending, which is one of those "Wait, what?" endings that make you think you must have fallen asleep and missed something crucial. You didn't, though.

I have seen a lot of bad movies in my life, ranging from "Glen or Glenda", to "Manos, the Hands of Fate", to "Wild Women of Wongo", but I have never encountered a movie that horrible. That is, and until someone makes a movie consisting entirely of scraping chalk on a fingernail, my least favorite movie ever. Why, you ask? Prepare to know. Mainly, it's because the people who made this film have no sense of pacing. For each important scene that actually advances the plot, there are two scenes that are completely random, freakishly annoying, and utterly irrelevant to anything. Many of these scenes focus on character development of characters who then proceed to do nothing with their newfound character traits, but others include boring walking and snowmobiling and random cuts to other people doing other things that relate at best tangentially to our friends back at the cabin. Add to this the acting, the budget, and the general plotting, and you've got yourself a physically painful little piece of cinema. Incidentally, what the deuce was up with the ending? Everyone disappears except for two people who turn into half naked children in a random meadow in soft focus? That's right down there with "Monster a Go-Go". Don't watch this.

"A group of campers in the Canadian wilderness begins (sic) to hear strange reports over their radio. Tales of a plague spreading across the Earth, sightings of bizarre beings as well as planes and cars malfunctioning fills the airwaves. Terrified by what they've been listening to, the campers decide to barricade themselves at their cabin in order to face the danger," according to the DVD sleeve's synopsis.Aka "They", this is a very difficult movie to sit through. Hardly anything ever happens to the five main characters. They seem to be isolated in snowy Wisconsin, for reasons severely lacking in clarity, as the Earth is invaded from within. The "leader" finally emerges as "Stan" (Paul Bentzen); he is the blonde guy with the beard. "Sarah" (Debbi Pick) and "Jake" (Nick Holt) are brother and sister. "Eric" (Karl Wallace) seems to be the early "leader"; and, "Andy" (Robert Arkens) quintuples the group.The startling ending (a pair of loin-clothed young children are tastefully shown) would have worked; however, the preceding 90 minutes don't lead you there. The very derivative soundtrack jumps the shark when "Jake" goes for help in his snowmobile, to the tune of "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly"!

It's amazing how often the words 'god-awful' appear in the reviews of this movie - er - on second thoughts, no it isn't. This really is a god-awful movie and the most god-awful part of it - eclipsing the non-script, the non-acting and the execrable un-special effects, is the incredible amount of really bloody awful music in this movie. The soundtrack is a masterpiece of incoherence ranging from tinny renditions of what sounded suspiciously like Morricone's 'The Good The Bad and The Ugly' theme played on a Stylophone to mellow Spanish guitar music, to 10 second loops of synthesised rock - ALL IN THE SAME SCENE! This isn't a soundtrack to a movie. It's a John Cage concert.