The Ninja Immovable Heart (2014)

How sad is this?

Admirable film.

A movie that not only functions as a solid scarefest but a razor-sharp satire.

The film's masterful storytelling did its job. The message was clear. No need to overdo.

A bit like a Seinfeld Ninja movie... A Ninja movie about nothing!

Like what was said in my recent review for 'The Secret Village', this is in no way intended to sound hate-filled or like a reviewer who hates everything review. Quite the contrary. Am actually a fair reviewer with a love of film of all decades, genres and regardless of what the budget is. IMDb's lowest possible ratings are very rarely given out by me, and also have no bias against low-budget films, there are watchable, and even good, ones out there.'Ninja Immovable Heart' is another example of not being one of those watchable or good low-budget films. Instead another example, and perhaps even an even worse one (if that was humanly possible), of being one of the worst ever examples to me. One of the worst films recently viewed for me and among the worst ever. Again another case of me being serious and genuine, not being malicious. Malice has never been intended in any of my reviews, regardless of how strongly worded some of them are. It's a cheap looking film visually, especially in the insultingly cheap (even for low budget) special effects and in the action scenes. Regarding the action scenes they are too few, and those that are in the film are very unexcitingly choreographed and chaotically edited. The script is cheesy, stilted and didn't even feel like one that was properly organised let alone structured. There is nothing tense, suspenseful, fun or urgent about the paper thin, pedestrian and muddled story. In 'Ninja Immovable Heart' none of the characters are intriguing or relatable, the direction is non-descript and the acting is dire. The use of Danny Glover is one of the worst wastes of any actor in any film. The least bad thing about 'Ninja Immovable Heart', and the only thing that feels like some degree of effort has been put into it, is the music. Not exactly memorable, but at least it didn't sound cheap or ill-fitting.Overall, awful. 1/10 Bethany Cox

NINJA: THE IMMOVABLE HEART is an indie science fiction action flick from Australia. It's mostly of interest for featuring a cameo for poor old Danny Glover, stuck in one of those desk-bound video-link roles for a couple of minutes tops. Mostly this is the usual badly-shot nonsense taking place in the dark, with a bunch of characters running around and badly emoting. The action is poorly shot and mostly takes place at the climax, with some ridiculously weak pole fighting. A certain visual glossiness is the only redeeming value here.

DO NOT waste your time or money.This is absolutely the worst acting that I have ever seen. This is absolutely the worst script ever turned into a movie. This movie has the hands-down worst special effects ever. I mean, I've seen better effects in cartoons.This movie has made me question what is going on with the movie industry. My God, how did this ever even make it onto disc much less film?It wouldn't have been so bad if it had been advertised as a comedy spoof. But, then again, maybe it would.I want my $1.50 back.Hey Danny, Really? What were you thinking? The only reason I rented it was because your name was headlined and I hadn't seen your acting in a while. I can only shake my head...