Geisha Assassin (2008)

This is a small, humorous movie in some ways, but it has a huge heart. What a nice experience.

what a terribly boring film. I'm sorry but this is absolutely not deserving of best picture and will be forgotten quickly. Entertaining and engaging cinema? No. Nothing performances with flat faces and mistaking silence for subtlety.

Let me be very fair here, this is not the best movie in my opinion. But, this movie is fun, it has purpose and is very enjoyable to watch.

Exactly the movie you think it is, but not the movie you want it to be.

Geisha vs Ninjas, or Geisha Assassin as it's known outside of Japan and the USA, is a fresh, exciting example of how to make an exciting martial arts B Movie. It's fast paced, exciting, and it has a constant flow of action and quick progression from one sequence to another.It takes the martial arts B movie back to basics, assumes rightly that 90% of it's audience will be far less interested in authenticity than they are in seeing some exciting throwdowns, and provides a constant stream of exciting, energetic and refreshingly brutal fight scenes, with a simple but effective story briskly clipping along with them.There've been two main points made against the flick whenever I read it reviewed, both of which I think are accurate points but also kind of pedantic and moot.First is about martial arts authenticity. Martial arts geeks have been hasty to point out that the movie is preposterous and historically inaccurate. I'm going to tackle this head on. Geisha vs Ninjas is quite obviously coming from a comic book fantasy angle, and as someone who knows of and understands the principles of various martial arts but also knows that while the professional martial arts performed in a lot of recent movies is excellent and top notch, it makes for incredibly dull, grounded fight scenes. This movie is aimed at people who want to see a full on kicking of many butts like in the comics they read as a kid, not an expert display of dry martial skill like they see in a dojo. If you're going to get sniffy about whether a 5'2 girl can outfight a 6'1 monk with her bare hands or the fact that a ninja pulls down her mask to talk during a fight, you need to go buy Redbelt or Throwdown or something, this is not the movie for you. If you bought or rented a movie called Geisha vs Ninjas and expected authenticity, you are an idiot.Second is about the technical quality of the film. This is a very fair point. The film is shot on HD video, not film stock. It's directed by Go Ohara, who was responsible for action direction in Versus and the entirety of the direction of Death Trance. The visual of the movie is much like Versus, with it shot on cheap video, but with excellent direction and shot choice. Also pace is maintained throughout, with precious little time wasted or spent philosophising. If you dislike watching movies with very low production values, you'd be better off to watch Death Trance as that is a high budget film, funded by the Japanese/American Fever Dreams production company. The video stock and recording of the film is, in the slower sections, a little distracting. Most of the blacks are in fact low greys, and on my copy seemed to flicker somewhat. Also the frame rate of the movie doesn't seem quite right, with the non-fight sequences seemingly shot at a slower than natural frame rate. However, the counter-argument to this obvious but inobtrusive lack of funds and equipment is that where a lot of movies have tons of equipment and money but squander it, Geisha vs Ninjas is pushing the limits of what you can do with crappy gear and a few locations by making sure direction, action and concepts are in as high gear as humanly possible.So to summarise the film, yes, it is doubtlessly inaccurate to it's period, yes it is shot on very little money on cheap gear and it shows, but at the end of the day, if you stop looking for problems and concentrate on the actual movie, it's a rip-roaring, brutal, fight-centric revenge thriller with a great female lead, fantastic action direction and some great locations.

Geisha vs Ninja strongly reminded me of the Italian spaghetti-western. The movie is a fairy tale, so of course it is unrealistic. So are Leone's movies. There are two simple but very human themes: the quest for revenge and the quest for truth. The conflict between those two is not really developed, so no 10/10 from me, but it's there. The leading lady is highly attractive, the cinematography is beautiful, the landscapes are gorgeous and play an essential role. The use of extreme close-ups and flash-backs are also a la Leone. What is missing is sick humour. There is a brilliant joke during the first fighting scene but that is by far not enough. That is another reason to subtract some points. Still G vs N never becomes boring. Excellently choreographed fighting scenes are varied with quieter contemplative scenes. All in all highly enjoyable. Of course G vs N gets slammed for exactly the same reasons Leone was condemned some 45 years ago. Those critics forget indeed that contemporary action movies from the USA (Terminator, The Rock etc. etc.) are not realistic either. So what? At least G vs N does not pretend to be.

The plot is simple enough. But being an avid fan of ninjas and samurai, I noticed too many mistakes in there.1. a female geisha would not remove her clogs to fight because there may be spikes on the ground.2. ninjas are not known to use katana because they are too long and become less effective in enclosed space. They usually carry a straight shorter blade call a ninjato.3. the bamboo blade the geisha was carrying isn't usually as thick or long as a katana. They are mostly used as a concealed weapon, thus length and width are limited.4. why did the female ninja keep pulling her mask off and putting it back on during the fight? The purpose of the mask is to minimize the exposed area that a light can shine on during an ambush or night op.The fighting is stylized and anime-like. It feels a bit weird at times, especially when the geisha was fighting with the monk.Oh... and the actress did not walk like a geisha. Totally unconvincing.

I ask you? Why would a Geisha fight Ninjas? Let me tell you, I watched it without subs!! Can you believe it, WITHOUT SUBTITLES!!! I give it 10 out of 10. This movie is a mix of Japanese warriors where they meet and fight. Lets start with the action. Go Ohara is the action director who directed the action in Death Trance and Onechanbara The Movie. The action is like a Japanese wire-fu. There are a lot of flying ninjas throwing smoke bombs, a tough monk, a Japanese barbarian and another monk which he used some magics to contact demons!! Wow, what a show. Japanse B-Movies are entertaining and funny. There are a lot sword fights, punching, kicking, smashing and smack down. The story is simple, is about geisha who seeks revenge of her fathers death. By killing the killer. I didn't understood what he mean't that why he killed her father. But in the movie, I saw the father who began the fight. The acting, well... A bit.....okay, good. The direction is simple. The setting is nice and beautiful. Especially in the begininning of the movie where the Geisha walks at night in Edo. Very nice. The overall is positive. You will expect soo many things. Have I ever felt the movie is dull? No. Thats all I can say and the ending. Well, I don't want to spoil the ending but you might get a surprise. But not a big one.