Theodore Rex (1995)

Touches You

Such a frustrating disappointment

One of my all time favorites.

Awesome Movie

On many occasions, depending on my mood and what kind of a day I've had, I look for known bad movies for the fun of laughing at the result. I've seen the silly shark movies, and I'm a fan of Plan 9. But this movie doesn't even rise to that level. It's awful. The dinosaur costume is cute, but the script is constantly trying to be clever (and fails), the premise could have been clever (but failed), and the story -- no, that didn't even have the potential for failure. Until now, I've loved any movie with dinosaurs, no matter how bad. Until now. It must be hard to make a movie that can't even entertain fans of bad movies. Maybe we should give them credit for that, I don't know. By the way, Whoopie Goldberg didn't want to do this thing. She was forced to because of a lawsuit. Maybe the whole point was to punish her for something we don't know about. If so, her attorney should have appealed to the "cruel and unusual punishment" clause.

Like the Nostalgia Critic said (let's face it, 9/10 of you reading about this heard about it from him first), the movie falls apart right at the premises. So if you read the back cover and still decided to check it out of the video store anyway, you'd better not be surprised when it turns out to be anything worse than a colossal waste of time.It's my theory, honestly, that this movie was intended to ruin careers; that the studio had a bunch of contracts, some of which it wanted to renew for less than they were worth, and others it just wanted to be done with, and this movie was their way of making it happen.And, well, when you look at it through that kind of perspective, there is something oddly compelling about it. And that's why it only gets a 2/10 from me. Sure, it's an absolute disaster of a film, but I was never angered by its existence the same way I was Garbage Pail Kids or Movie 43. Just bewildered by it.

I saw this only today, and I do agree with the other reviews, it really is that bad. So much so, I am seriously considering putting it on my bottom 20. Before I begin criticising this abominable film, I have to give some credit to Whoopi Goldberg for trying so hard to give her character some credibility if not entirely succeeding for understandable reasons.The special effects are just woeful, very rushed and lacking any clarity or sharpness. Theodore Rex as a character looks grotesque and horrible as well, and cinematography and editing-wise the film looks cheap. The story is woefully predictable and misconceived, the dialogue is sloppy with any sense of comedy being flushed down the toilet and the direction is wretched. Also, Theodore Rex is too violent for kids and adults I agree will find it a chore to watch due to its own stupidity.The acting is also dire. Goldberg tries hard, but Armin Muellen-Stahl overdoes it badly in a very clichéd role as a mad scientist and lacks any menace. Overall, a really bad movie that as far as I'm concerned deserves its dubious reputation. 1/10 Bethany Cox

Theodore Rex is possibly the greatest cinematic experience of all time, and is certainly a milestone in human culture, civilization and artistic expression!! In this compelling intellectual masterpiece, Jonathan R. Betuel aligns himself with the great film makers of the 20th century, such as Francis Ford Copola, Martin Scorcese, Orson Welles and Roman Polanski. The special effects are nothing less than breathtaking, and make any work by Spielberg look trite and elementary. At the time of it's release, Theodore Rex was such a revolutionary gem that it raised the bar of film-making to levels never anticipated by film makers. The concept of making not just a motion picture featuring a dinosaur, but adapting an action packed, thrilling detective novel, co-staring a "talking" dinosaur with a post-modern name such as "Theodore", and an existential female police officer changed humanity as we know it. The world could never be the same after experiencing such magnificent beauty. Watching Theodore Rex is much akin to looking into the face of God and hearing Him say "you are my most beloved creation." This is one of the few films that is simply TO DIE FOR!!!