The Adventures of Pinocchio (1996)

Save your money for something good and enjoyable

People are voting emotionally.

When a movie has you begging for it to end not even half way through it's pure crap. We've all seen this movie and this characters millions of times, nothing new in it. Don't waste your time.

Tells a fascinating and unsettling true story, and does so well, without pretending to have all the answers.

The Adventures of Pinocchio (1996): Dir: Steve Barron / Cast: Martin Landau, Jonathon Taylor Thomas, Rob Schneider, Bebe Neuwirth, Udo Kier: A bad film with great production values where filmmakers went on an adventure and created a film unfit for children. Lackluster live version of Disney classic with Martin Landau as Gepetto who carves a wooden puppet out of a tree. He is surprised when his wooden puppet comes to life but perhaps he should check his alcohol level. Pinocchio's nose grows when he tells a lie and he gets schemed into a circus where all of the boys are turned into donkeys. One wonders if Steve Barron's nose grew when he directed the film. He certainly didn't follow the classic tale to total degree. Jiminy Cricket is replaced by some other insect, which is not explained and certainly not accepted. Landau makes for a fine Gepetto whose dream of fatherhood becomes a reality. Jonathan Taylor Thomas voices the wooden puppet with appeal and appears briefly as the real Pinocchio. Rob Schneider and Bebe Neuwirth play two pathetic villains in what can only be described as a bad joke on them. Udo Kier plays a character named Lorenzini who is apparently a new character, as if this version wasn't screwed up enough as it is. Pointless live version isn't totally faithful to the classic but the visual attempt is there. Perhaps the script should substitute as fire wood. Score: 2 / 10

So a man loves a woman and she loves the mans brother, he is hurt by this but will forever love her and even carved their initials in a tree. Many years later this hopeless romantic has grown old and now carves dummy puppets out of trees to keep him company. He carves a boy out of this log which bared his initialed heart and has no idea the tree was magical. The dummy he carves comes to life and starts causing innocent trouble all over town. The old man loves the boy, but he cant control it. There is a man in town who does puppet shows and wants this amazing puppet for his act and blackmails the old man to get it. The puppet runs away and soon finds the evil theater man is turning young boys into donkeys, and he almost gets turned himself in his quest to become a real boy. He has a cricket companion named Pepe and Pepe tries to teach the boy what real love is and convinces him that his creator is the one person who loves him, real or not. He goes off to find the old man and even more adventures occur as they are swallowed into the belly of a whale. Soon Pinnochios flaws help them escape and a lesson is learned and eventually the love between these two make Pinocchip a real boy.I have actually never seen any version of this film before to my knowledge. It is possible that I have watched the cartoon, but forgotten. This movie was way too cheesy for me. I hated the cheesy music, I thought the villain was not mean enough. I didn't like the C.G.I. cricket and thought that was a bit too much. The effects looked bad and I just wasn't impressed. I like Martin Landou and he's about all I tolerated. I don't like Jonathan Taylor Thomas and hate Rob Schneider so casting was bad.Maybe kids would like it, but I just thought it was boring, not colorful or exciting and way too sappy and slow. 2/10 stars

Had this version of Pinnochio been made by a major Hollywood studio we would have had adverts on TV, all the major cinemas would have run it for weeks and we would never have heard the end of it. I saw this premiered at the Edinburgh Festival where the running time was listed as 180 minutes (so far as I can recall) and I thought we were half way through when in fact there were just 15 minutes to go. After the premier, it vanished from sight and I never heard nor saw any sign of it again. What a terrible waste. The film deserves better. My only disappointment was when the puppet turned into a chubby little boy but, after the excellent blending of animation with live action, this was a minor niggle. I found the film entertaining on several levels and strongly recommend it to film clubs and people with large screens - I suspect this is a film that does not work nearly so well on an average television set - a full-sized cinema or large Home Cinema system with surround sound is what it needs to do it justice.

I saw this movie with my kids, and frankly, they could not stay focused on it. The movie jumped around a lot. I tended to get lost. I did however, like Rob Schneider, I felt he did a pretty good job. All in all my summary is if you have seen the Walt Disney version, DON'T see this one! The animated version is much more better. Although they did it 90's style, for instance in the Disney version the boys going to the island smoked cigars; this version, they drank the water and you know the rest.