Sorority Row (2009)

Truly Dreadful Film

Don't listen to the Hype. It's awful

Crappy film

It's entirely possible that sending the audience out feeling lousy was intentional

A remake of the cult favorite The Sorority House Massacre (1986), this film does not hold water. It's a valid attempt but the slasher films of the 80's held a different methodology. A sub par plot when a prank goes awry and a sorority sister is left dead, the other girls try and masterfully cover it up. In the semi-signature of 1997 I Know What You Did last Summer someone knows the secret. As graduation happens the secret comes back and bodies start to pile up. The suspense of who is the killer is mildly done and really not hard to figure out. The performance of Rumer Willis (Ellie) was the shining theme in the film. A simple, albeit direct style screenplay, the music score did not hold true to the scenes. Even a badass Carrie Fisher could not save the film. The highlight for me was the style of the killings, it was creative and held direct link to the beginning of the film. I have to give it a 4 though for the style of performances from others

Let me just start off by saying that I haven't watched the original movie, so I can't compared the two. That being said, let's start.So let's first assume that no human being would ever be as stupid as this girls were and that was all done for the sake of a horror movie. As horror movies go, this is more of the same slasher killer type. And it fits all of the stereotypes we tend to see in these kinds of movies. Hot chicks do something awful and then it comes to bite them in the butt. And then you find the typical characters you always find on this kids of movies. You have the good girl that always wants to do the right thing, you have the nerd, you have the whore, you have the "leader" and her sidekick. It's just more of the same typical things. The movie doesn't bring anything new, or different for that matter. The only thing that I can say sorta kinda saves this movie, is twist that it gives us when it comes to the murderer. I was not expecting that and I certainly didn't see it coming. That's the only thing I would save about this movie.Overall, nothing new nor exciting is brought to the table. Just more of your typical teenage slasher movie. If you are absolutely bored out of your mind, go ahead and give it a shot. Otherwise, if you have ever seen a teenage slasher movie before, you already knows what happens on this one.

This all is a bit confusing as there are so many Babes strutting and prancing, flashing and motivating in and out here and there that it all becomes a bit of a strain on the brain. Not a good thing in the Brainless Slasher Genre. Just some Kool Kills please. Some Gore-Art splattered with biting satire and irreverent denunciations.There are a few mildly interesting things here but in hindsight they are fuzzy because this is a Movie that is filled with a lot of filler. It whisks around from locations and time-frames and halts occasionally so the Sisters can bicker and bond and bond and bicker. Get on with it. The Fun leaks out of this thing like a punctured vanity implant. It is a busybody of a Movie that loses its focus more than once.Overall on the Slasher Scale it is in a Midrange of not Awful but somewhere in the c'mon this isn't that hard to pull off realm. It's not like there aren't a Gazillion others to steal from. Oh that's right this has stolen from its better Sisters, it just didn't know what to do with the Booty.

So another horror remake? Shocker ... though not exactly literally. What it is though is beautiful. Especially if you do like women. There is not much acting necessary (which doesn't imply the people involved are not able to do so), just having to look good and scared. All of them are good in that regard.I haven't seen the original (or I don't remember it?), but the premise is pretty simple. As another reviewer wrote, you could say, just another slasher. The effects/murders are pretty good, so you get your moneys worth from that. Thrills are decent enough, though you do know where it is heading and characters still "act" dumb/irrational, as they always do in those movies