Hansel & Gretel (2002)

Surprisingly incoherent and boring

Pretty Good

When a movie has you begging for it to end not even half way through it's pure crap. We've all seen this movie and this characters millions of times, nothing new in it. Don't waste your time.

This story has more twists and turns than a second-rate soap opera.

A father reads a bedtime story to his kids (Dakota Fanning). It's the story of Hansel (Jacob Smith) & Gretel (Taylor Momsen). While their father (Gerald McRaney) is away, the evil stepmother (Delta Burke) abandons the kids in the Magic Forest. They meet the Boogeyman (Tom Arnold) and a Troll (Bobcat Goldthwait). They befriend the Sandman (Howie Mandel) and a Wood Faerie (Alana Austin). They get lost in a storm and encounter a Witch (Lynn Redgrave) with her delicious house.This is a cheap ugly looking movie. The sets are bad. The Troll and Boogeyman costumes are really ugly and cheap. I don't even know why they are needed for the movie. Howie Mandel is being a little wacky which is good. Alana Austin is sexed up with her short shorts and a gun? I don't know why the camera is lingering on her legs for this kids movie. The movie goes to Lynn Redgrave and that section is fine. Although I always thought the point of the story is that the kids got greedy.

This is a fun flick.The actors do a good job. Delta Burke is excellent and Lynn Redgrave has many funny lines. The child actors did a good job as well. And while I usually don't care much about Howie Mandell, I think he struck the right note as the Sandman.Yes, the sets are simple, but this is a fairy tale. Fairy tales are skin and bones--nighttime stories--they are not meant to be miracles of on-location production.Maybe I'm old school, but I'll take a good story with good actors on a simple stage over fancy special effects any time. My wife and I watched Hansel and Gretel after we watched Cloverfield (with all of its special effects, including intentional shaky camera), and we thought H&G was way better.Plus, there is no swearing, no boob or penis jokes, and no gratuitous violence. Not that I'm a prude, but I think they did a good job of preserving the message of the movie: magic resides in our dreams.A fun film for the entire family.

i read the DVD case. it promised a stellar cast and adventures for my 8yr old daughter. i got it for my daughter and watched it with her. it was awful from start to finish. it made me cringe all the way through. i could feel my IQ dropping the longer i watched.1. flatulence humour. no thanks.2. anachronistic dialogue and so-called "cool" slang.3. pitiful indoor sets. it looked like they were just shooting the same set from a different side of the room.4. references, in what was probably meant to be a children's movie, to adult movies like the silence of the lambs was just the pits.5. smartmouthed and pointless characters.the lone bright spots for me were mcraney and redgrave. at least they sounded almost authentic.oui. c'est le garbage.

Hansel and Gretel, is the story of two kids who meet a witch in a house made of gingerbread. But this version, is twisted.The stepmother, wants to live in a house with a tv, and thinks the kids will stop her from that. So, she takes them into the woods, and leaves. Hansel & Gretel get lost, and meet the sandman, a wood fairy and the troll.But, a "twister" blows them towards a gingerbread house, and a near-sited old woman comes out, offering them food... but, the woman is not what she seems...This film has a great cast, and the story is great. But, there are several gags that slow down the storyline. One of which, is that the story is being told by a father telling his children. (the father is "reading" the book, but makes things up, which explains the twisted version)This film is good, but the gags might tempt you to turn it off, before you even see the witch in her gingerbread house.7/10