Stealing Rembrandt (2003)

Gripping story with well-crafted characters

Simple and well acted, it has tension enough to knot the stomach.

All that we are seeing on the screen is happening with real people, real action sequences in the background, forcing the eye to watch as if we were there.

It's the kind of movie you'll want to see a second time with someone who hasn't seen it yet, to remember what it was like to watch it for the first time.

Full disclosure up front: I watched the German version; the subpar dubbing might in part be responsible for the film's failure to connect with me. Then again, I was aware of this at all times, and it will not be part of my critique, or reflected in my overall rating.With that out of the way, I do wonder what is supposed to be funny about this movie. Apart from the mildly amusing premise and exactly one unexpected situational-comedy scene, this movie is clearly a drama, and a boring one at that.My TV guide praised Rembrandt as "lighthearted comedy". From that and the short plot summary I expected something along the lines of How to Steal a Million; or Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels; or at the very least Ocean's Eleven; you get the idea. Movies of this genre hinge on evoking empathy for the crooks and liars that their protagonists are; you find yourself rooting for them.Sadly, that's precisely where I found Rembrandt to completely fall flat. There is not a single character in the entire movie — main, supporting, or otherwise —, that is really likable. Quite a few are downright despicable. The movie makes sure to establish them as scum, but forgets to throw in a single trait or deed going for them. At best, you find yourself not caring for them; at worst, you want to see them behind bars from minute one and till the very end.I like slow-paced movies, but the pace must have a point. Here it does not. The exposition drags on forever, but doesn't establish anything that couldn't have been established in half the time. Throughout the rest of the movie, too, some scenes are longer than they need to be, and one or two are entirely superfluous. Character development is attempted, but in the end everyone is pretty much exactly where they started. As others have pointed out, several characters don't get any resolution at all. They silently drop out of the movie, leaving you wondering why they got so much screen time in the first place.None of this seems to be a deliberate choice; much of it is clearly just sloppy writing. The dialogue is simply not tight. On more than one occasion, cheap devices such as lighting a cigarette are used to try and distract from the fact that the character has nothing left to say or do and the scene should long be over.There are plot holes and continuity errors, too. (Spoilers ahead.) For example, the character who proposes to burn the portrait (only to be ignored by others) is the very same one who a few scenes later, out of the blue, is the only one to violently oppose doing just that (only to be ignored by others yet again). That destroying the portrait is an option at all, is absurd; there are countless ways to get rid of it without it taking any damage. Not to mention that you could turn it in for an exceptionally lush reward.In fact, at no time do these people handle the portrait like it's of any value at all. It's not packed for transport, not packed for storage. You treat your groceries with more dignity — and you don't expect to resell them for 20 million. (Little in this movie makes any economic sense. Offering 20 million for something you know for a fact couldn't be sold for 12, is idiocy; so is falling for such an offer; so is setting the reward at 1.5 million.) The worst plot hole, however, is the final twist. It suggests that in addition to not caring about guarding the only work of Rembrandt's in the entire country, the Danish also do not care for checking if it's just a poster.Now for the plusses. The cinematography is good; no objections there. The acting is actually quite solid, across the board, for what little the actors are given to work with. The music is par for the course, though on a couple occasions a tad intrusive, bordering on cheesy. And then there's that one scene on the junkyard that singlehandedly adds a whole star to my rating, for originality.All in all, a 3/10 from me. I can see how it can get a 5/10 from others, especially from the Danish audience. But anything beyond that is wishful thinking.

Expected a good movie i got a very good movie, which is always good.In the later years the strength of the danish movies have been the loose action-comedy films, and this is one of those, although it is not as funny and violent as previous titles, this is a much warmer and deeper action movie that focuses a lot on the personalities characters as well, it's actually a very personal movie and you get to know each of the main characters very good, which is nice becuase you'll end up feeling with them towards the end.But even though this movie is perhaps not as funny and violent entertaining as movies like "I kina spiser de hunde" and "Blinkende Lygter" then it still succeeds quite well, surpringsly well actually, the plot outline is somewhat original and seems very realistic, which is natural i guess since it's made upon a real story, although i can't help wondering what is fiction and what is actual reality.But looking back at it i can definitely recommend this movie, best danish production i have seen in a while, well made and the acting is actually absolute top class, nothing to say there, actually there only critic i can really give is sometimes you find yourself wondering what is fiction and what is reality, and then the end i think was a bit tame, but i'm not gonna flame it over that becuase everything else was very well made.8/10

Going to see this was a bit of a gamble for me. I didn't feel convinced that this film would be worthwhile, based as it is on a funny, but not terribly dramatic news story about the robbery of a Rembrandt painting. I was, in the end, positively surprised, even at Lars Brygmann's unusual role which I would have thought was out-of-character for him.In fact, director Jannik Johansen has made a very strong and convincing story from the actual event which inspired him. The fact that the robbers stole the Rembrandt by mistake rather than by intent proves a good starting point for a comic screenplay full of surprise, distrust and, eventually, disappointment. The latter is no spoiler, for it is almost a given that a Danish crime plot on film will not depict the problem-free victory of the crooks, but rather the opposite. "Rembrandt" might, as such, remind many viewers of the famous "Olsen-Banden" series.Actors which work well in a comic, but also dramatic and personal setting are instrumental here. The film succeeds very well, especially with before-mentioned Lars Brygmann, the super-expressive Nicolas Bro and the bold, young Jacob Cedergren for whom this is the first major film role since his breakthrough in the TV series "Edderkoppen". Nikolaj Coaster-Waldau is all right as the fourth gang member, but his part lacks perspective and importance, in part due to the fact that the ending of the film doesn't involve his character adequately. Søren Pilmark, Sonja Richter and Paprika Steen are the most noteworthy of the additional cast, all in solid performances.Rembrandt is not by any means a revelation, nor does it attract much attention for cinematography or additional crafts, but it works on all levels and, notably, successfully adds a serious and personal angle to its humour.

Thoroughly enjoyable caper film in which the heist itself takes only about 30 seconds, when a few low-rent criminals accidentally steals the wrong painting from a Danish art museum, only to realize they've got their hands on a genuine Rembrandt. Stealing it was the easy part, getting rid of it turns out to be the hard part. Lars Brygmann stars in his first leading role, and does a great job as the petty thief, who wants to do better. Brygmann is supported by a great cast of newcomers and veterans. Great fun and always entertaining with a hilarious final twist. Echoes of "Olsen-Banden" and "Blinkende Lygter", but this film can easily stand on its own. Scripted by the director and the ubiquitous Anders Thomas Jensen, loosely based on real events.