Infestation (2009)

Too much of everything

To me, this movie is perfection.

Did you people see the same film I saw?

A Masterpiece!

Great entertainment. Good characters. Good comedy-horror of 1980's fashion. Zombie film meets the Mist. Break out the popcorn for fun pointless entertainment. Movie is also a good one to watch stoned. And yes, the blonde shows them off. If you liked Zombieland, give this one a try and try not to reason it too hard.

Unlike the fun of other recent movies such as 8 Legged Freaks, Infestation is just plain stupid. It is supposed to be a horror-comedy but this is neither horror or comedy and is just some haphazard attempt at movie making.For some unexplained reason, large CGI bugs, which appear to look like over-sized beetles and wasps, have taken over the earth and cocooned everyone in sight.Movie starts on a typical work day and within 5 minutes a large ear-piercing noise is heard which knocks everyone unconscious. The next we know, every human being is cocooned in webs. One of them manages to wake up and sets about freeing others that are trapped. They appear to have no recollection of what has really happened but they work out they've been cocooned for several days.Pretty soon after several encounters with over-sized beetles and wasps, which thankfully manage to pick off a few of the more annoying members of the reanimated group, we learn that the bugs are largely blind and respond to various forms of noise. That knowledge however doesn't seem to stop them from walking around outside talking as if they're on a Sunday stroll, but we're not supposed to notice that I guess.The group doesn't seem to have any goal or direction except to try and lay low and get somewhere they can defend, while also wanting to get back to their various homes, loved ones etc. all of which they fail dismally at. To make matters worse, if you manage to get stung by one of these wasps, the venom doesn't kill you, it transforms you into some kind of weird spiderlike bug/human hybrid instead.There is no real story here and unfortunately this movie is only part one of what was going to be a trilogy. The movie ends on a cliffhanger after they penetrate bug hive so it doesn't really end at all. I have no idea why they would bother to make 3 movies when this mess is already too much but as of this release there has not been any other sequels planned, maybe it did poorer than expected but who knows. It's a bunch of no names reacting to CGI bugs, so budget doesn't seem to be a factor.I said this was brainless and it is. I couldn't even consider this funny as every character was just too annoying. Our main "hero" tries to rescue the bosses daughter at the start, (a boss that just fired him from his job) and while she's all woozy and disorientated, she's coherent enough to mace him in the eyes like any would-be pervert and he still manages to fall in love with her!? Yet when one of the other girls strips nude and tries to get intimate he rejects her. I'm guessing that's the black humour they were talking about, but I just found it irritating.Also in what I consider to be a massive plot hole, if the bugs respond to noise, how did they manage to locate and cocoon every single human everywhere if everyone was unconscious and not making noise? Every person in their cars, offices, homes, shops etc. are cocooned. So are we to believe there was no one who managed to be in a secluded area at the time such as a basement or windowless storeroom that managed to escape being cocooned? It's just a dumb movie that makes no sense and everyone in it is painful to watch and what's really scary is that at some point 2 more of these could be made. God help us all.

On a typical workday deadbeat mild-mannered goofster Cooper (Chris Marquette) shows up at work. Late. Again. And in a whole lot of trouble for badmouthing clients. Again. Just as soon as he shows up at work he get the long-deserved can by his boss... only for a loud noise to knock them unconscious. Cooper wakes up a few days later wrapped in an insect's web. After freeing himself and fighting off an overgrown dung-beetle he manages to rescue a group of rag-tag individuals, who now have to survive in a world overtaken by giant insects.Never one to expect much from a sci-fi channel movie I was quick off my blocks to disregard this one as a certified turd. The opening sequence surprised me as to the special effects quality, which were much more decent than average low-budget productions. Then we are quickly introduced to Chris Marquette's character, a amiable slacker with a unabashed level of charm to him. Being the focal point of the movie it sure does help that Chris does such a bang up job at making you fond of him within the opening five minutes. However admirably the movie jumps on you unexpected it does have a few gaping plot holes the size of the infestation's nest. The least of which is the supposed blindness of the insects. Nonetheless this is one of those tongue-in-cheek movies, which manages to go the distance at endearing its audience, so all such flaws are easily forgiven.It may not be the funniest comedy horror at there and at times it does feel like a sub-par TV movie, but the overall enjoyment shows that "Infestation" manages to pull off what it aimed at. It won't become a classic or be covered in glory, but the director has to be commended for almost flawlessly executing the game-plan and delivering a sweet, charming monster flick for an entertaining Saturday evening.The movie ends with a real cliffhanger and I for one will be sure to check up the follow-up to this below-the-radar little gem.

Call it either false advertising or that I just didn't get 98.5% of the humor, but Infestation is not the Arachnophobia of the beetles.I admit I chose Infestation due to my love of When Animals Attack/Creature Features, especially tongue in cheek ones. I like this genre that generally doesn't take itself too seriously, is actually funny and never intends to be a Syfy movie of the week – those are the absolute worse and they're never even "so-bad-it's-good." I admit, this one had me at Christopher (or Chris) Marquette whom I've liked (yes, like) since Freddy Vs. Jason. (My bad, even I choose movies at times for good looking actors. Yes, a flaw, but I wouldn't have, in the case of Infestation, if it didn't have all the right advertising associated with it.)And this is my punishment. A horribly – make that TERRIBLY – edited mess of a low budget B-Movie that yearned to be more, but never had heart. That is, aside from actress Brooke Nevin who had the most drive. I don't want to knock Marquette, and he gave it his all; really, he did try. And I don't think it was his fault. It appeared that he and the writer/director was not on the same page when it came to who his character really was. I can see better coming from him, much like what I saw in Heath Ledger's early films. Also, it was incredibly unfunny. I smirked once. And I recognized where the "humor" was supposed to be, and my suspicion was the shoddy editing job took a lot of the intentions away.Sure, I wasn't expecting a horror classic, but from the (false) advertising, I was expecting at least a good and fun time with an updated bug B-Movie. I feel sorry for the actors, aside from the rancid acting by Kinsey Packard, who played Cindy, the "pretty blonde & stripping weathergirl." Bleahh. At least the rest of the cast did try and move the story along. They seemed like they believed in the project and writer/director – so Kudos to them.What starts off as a normal day in Nowhere, USA (but, of course, filmed overseas,) Nobody Cooper (Marquette) heads into work to slack and get fired. Just then, a loud pitching noise causes everyone to be "webbed" for several days. Cooper awakes and frees himself…I'll stop here.#1: They begin with the cocooning shot, I'm guessing for effect of what's to come, but there was no "Several days earlier" statement because following is that same scene is the normal setting in the same room. I could follow what had happened: They begin in the "present" where humans are imprisoned, jump back three or so days to immediately before the bugs initially attack and then continue on as Cooper awakens. You still should give us some indication on where the timeline is. #2: What's not explained, possibly due to budget – but I blame the editing, again, is how or why Cooper is the only person to be able to break free all by himself and awake from the spell the bugs placed on humans. But, I digress…it is a B-Movie about giant bugs after all…Cooper is quickly introduced to a giant beetle of sorts, fights, lives and frees a couple of people trapped by bug-webs. Then, he meets his destiny girl, who, in the same scene, loses her mother and gives her a little bit of depth. The following segments fall into the typical scenarios of these types of films: blindsided by extraordinary and catastrophic events, humans try and figure out what's happen, humans fighting amongst themselves and occasionally their advisories and the road trip begins. (By the way, I don't blame the movie for being cliché and obvious. In fact, I love this part of these When Animals Attack movies. Infestation didn't do a bad job here, though it wasn't all that interesting, nonetheless.)Along the road journey, they continue to break down, fight each other more, fight the winged and ground bug troops and discover more of the bug's vicious plans while developing a master plan of their own to defeat the beasts. The road's rocky involving some incredibly odd ideas, scenes, boring subplots and so-called "depth" – Oh, father, accept me!Oh, and if I haven't spoiled enough – perhaps, I actually helped you here to avoid this picture – there's not an explanation of the big bad bugs. That said, I'm not upset with them not clarifying the origin of the hive or bugs. It happens in both big budgeted films as well as Near-Zero direct-to-DVD films. Mostly the latter, due to budget restraints. In either case, generally it adds to the tension, mystery or fears. Here, by the end of the film, the thought of where these bugs came from, or why they were here, or how did they suddenly appear without warning, never came to mind. I just wanted it to end.And when it did end…it finishes on such a WTF? final shot, I was forced to listen to some the audio commentary to learn a little more. Hilariously, I haven't heard so many apologies from an audio commentary track since Superman IV: The Quest for Peace. Thankfully, the director/writer focused a lot of his regret on the editing process; at least he acknowledged that. Well, that, and his love/lust for beautiful women and breasts. Unfortunately, he didn't elaborate any more on the finale than what I already assumed. It just needed a few more seconds and possibly another buck fifty over-budget on the special effects.Despite all the efforts – namely the actors and the FX crew didn't do that bad of a job – it's a SKIP. I think all parties will evolve. So, let's wait until then.