Skeleton Man (2004)

Great Film overall

It’s sentimental, ridiculously long and only occasionally funny

One of the most extraordinary films you will see this year. Take that as you want.

Through painfully honest and emotional moments, the movie becomes irresistibly relatable

Another fine Casper Van Dien movie that should only be viewed in a severe altered state. The movie title is "Skeleton Man." I don't recall that phrase ever being used in the movie. The "Skeleton Man's" name was Joe Cottonmouth. He was the spirit of a dead Indian somehow revived, apparently through the recovery of a skull. This Native American wore the traditional Native American black cowl, looking like the Grim Reaper and boasting a variety of weapons including that Native American broadsword.The movie consists of a crack government group doing a search and rescue of a missing group and getting picked off one by one by Joe Cottonmouth. The story of Joe Cottonmouth was told to the group by a long white haired Native American with an extremely fake accent.Smoke 'em if you got 'em.

I got this movie as part of a "Horror" pack at the grocery store. This is the worst horror movie, but the greatest comedy of all time. It is one of those movies that could have been made in your high school film class, only the high school version would be better. It has one or two decent actors in it, but they can't save a film like this! Basically, a skeleton rides a horse through the woods and attacks people for no reason(though possibly he wants revenge or to protect the burial grounds?) and wears a Wal-Mart costume and trash bag. He carries a broadsword, which apparently Native Americans bought from Crusaders in Europe. The Special Forces team sent to stop him looks more like the front of an L.L. Bean or Abercrombie catalog. Apparently, SEALS and Delta Force use 100 lbs. cheerleaders with long hair for these dangerous missions. The Indian skeleton man warps around with bad graphics, and then ends up killing poor guys in a power station. Finally, they blow him up, even though thousands of bullets couldn't stop him nor explosives for the whole film. He even brought down a chopper with a bow and arrow!!! LOL. This is one of those movies you love to hate. It makes me laugh every time I even think of it. The budget must have been about $50 and a free meal at Denny's to sign on for this project.

I felt horror when I saw this movie. I was horrified to see how bad a movie can actually get! Aside from the dumbest story line and stupid characters (An angry guy wearing a Halloween skeleton mask possessing super powers like one-shot-kill-a-helicopter-with-a-bow, riding a horse or horses using a SWORD!!! as a weapon that kills every one he sees, an undercover for an unknown reason delta force team hiking in the forest and some unlucky victims for the "Skeleton Man") one of the things that got on my nerves the most in this movie was the music. Or to be precise the music that plays when the "Skeleton Man" is trying to kill or killing someone. That track is number one in my Worst Tracks Ever List, partially because its in that movie, partially because it doesn't fit the scene of horrible murder by a monster thing, but mostly because its so irritating!!! I wanted to throw my TV out the window every time "Skeleton Man" killed someone. The movie looks like either the director is 7 years old or they actually tried to make it that bad (I think that even with a bigger budget a lot bigger it would still suck). Before I saw this movie I have seen only one movie with Casper Van Dien (Starship Troopers 1997) and thought that (since I liked that movie) he was a good actor, but when I have seen this movie (Skeleton Man) my opinion changed drastically (Of course it changed even more when I saw Starship Troopers 3 Marauder). The bottom line this movie SUCKS D**K. But I do recommend to watch it since its really funny watching a SO BAD movie.

I loved it! I mean, hippies as soldiers: brilliant! Covert indeed.Seriously, this movie had just enough explosions, gore and cheesy plot to satisfy any B horror movie fanatic.My only complaints are that the most badass and hottest chick died first, while the prissy girly girl lived, and we never got to see skeletor's bones scatter everywhere, camera focusing on that one bone that ends up growing into a skeletor tree foreshadowing certain doom for any imbecile who chooses to hike the Appalachians in the future.Also, I couldn't stop from shouting: "use your gravity gun" when the dude was trying to pull out the giant plug toward the end. That, and the lack of crowbars around the wooden crates made me antsy.Great flic! So lucky it was cheap so I can watch it over and over.