Dark Reel (2008)

I'll tell you why so serious

I wanted to but couldn't!

This is a must-see and one of the best documentaries - and films - of this year.

It’s not bad or unwatchable but despite the amplitude of the spectacle, the end result is underwhelming.

Dark Reel is severely damaged goods no matter how you look at it. It sucks because there's some good ideas trying their best to flourish beneath a mountain of sludge, but nothing of any value can breech the surface of this purely shitty B movie with scant traces of a decent outing. It starts off with a black and white prologue that looks like the only part of the film that wasn't shot with an etch-a-sketch. Scarlett, a young aspiring actress, is lured into a dark abandoned set warehouse under the pretence of an audition, and brutally murdered. Fast forward about six decades, where a young groupie (Edward Furlong, looking like a sack of poo warmed over) wins a walk on role in a sickeningly trashy B movie monstrosity, starring a legendary scream queen (Tiffany Shepis, also a legendary scream queen in real life). It's not long before so,done with ties to the murder in the prologue starts skulking around the set after hours and hacking people to pieces in ways that are as tasteless as they are cheap looking. The film has one redeeming quality, if you are a fan: Lance Henriksen. He plays Connor Pritchett, schlock movie producer and general whacko. Lance seriously plays the part like he has no idea what the script is, making up verbal diarrhea on the fly, undergoing titanic mood swings and displaying the coherency of someone with serious issues. It's fun to watch him crash and burn, and even in the most awful poop material like this, he still shines, as bats@$t crazy as he is. There's also a cop played by Tony Todd who acts just as unstable as Lance, and Todd rides the wave of his awfully written dialogue and poor direction like a sheepish pro. This is literally one of the worst movies I've ever seen, and the funny thing is that it didn't have to be. The premise itself is great, and even on the couch change budget it was stuck with, they could have at least tried. But no, they threw in the bloody towel and instead of a gem or even an admirable failure we get this monumental piece of festering garbage instead. I had to keep myself occupied in any scenes without Henriksen by hitting half speed fast forward so the characters sound like chipmunks. It says a lot about a flick when you have to do that. Avoid at any cost.

The first scene of the film grabs your attention; a man with no name who looks like a throw back from the 40's enters a bar and makes small talk with a damsel in distress. He worms his way into her heart and into his warehouse where he is directing her into her grave. The rest of the film is forced especially the acting except for the actor, Jeffrey Vincent Parise, who adds some life to this dead dud. Edward Furlong looks like he has been on a bender and needs to take a time out. Their is too much talking and not enough killing. I mean, come on, this is a horror film not a soap opera! Honestly, there is nothing to recall about this film. I did use the fast forward button a lot. Don't waste your time and effort.

Thats Really A big big big flop. Acting is really awful you will feel like you are watching a comedy music is bad the killer looks so funny will make you laugh you will regret 2 hours of your life you wasted watching this movie like what i feel now that i'm wasting 10 minutes writing this post :) the only good scene in the movie is the first one this scene makes you feel like you are going to watch an amazing movie the movie depends on two bloody scenes and thats it. the funny thing is the scene when the producer was talking with an actor and he said "We are making money here who gives a s!!t about performance" it was like he is talking really about the movie it self :)

This is the worst movie ever made, the sound guy must've been drunk considering all of the noises you don't need to hear that are there. The acting was sub par, Lance Henrickson has done much better in the past, ie Aliens and Millennium series. He must really need money to have taken this. Not only did Edward Furlong age badly and let himself go, but his acting was deplorable. The detectives and their cheesy attitudes did nothing to make it any better, the best part of the movie was the idiotic Rhett Johnson. Otherwise one of the cheesiest horror movies ever made, I want my $1.07 back for renting it. The sword in the back was horrid, absolutely the most fake job of stabbing someone I've ever seen.