The Incredible Petrified World (1959)

Sadly Over-hyped

Good films always raise compelling questions, whether the format is fiction or documentary fact.

There is, somehow, an interesting story here, as well as some good acting. There are also some good scenes

An old-fashioned movie made with new-fashioned finesse.

Fellow film-buff's, let me provide you with a sampling of some of the dialog you can expect to hear, just to give you an idea of what your delving into. "How long's he been out of oxygen? - Only a few minutes. - I'll get him some coffee."Veteran hack film-maker Jerry Warren brings us.......The Incredible Petrified World.......though don't be fooled by the title, because there's absolutely NOTHING "incredible" about it, not even close. Never does it build up (let alone sustain) any real action, suspense, excitement or even a modicum of interest - just pure boredom all the way through. The trials and tribulations one would expect to experience when trapped inside a cavernous underwater cave, lifelessly limps to the big screen! With all the excitement of (insert your phrase here).Jerry-boy must have cranked this one out in a week or less, because it looks and sounds painfully cheap and it's so antiquated it creaks, but above all else, is it's over-powering boredom, like few other movies can do. Which is entirely consistent with the two other "Jerry Flicks" I've seen over the years (The Wild, Wild World of Bat-Woman and Frankenstein Island). And with "The Incredible Petrified World" once again I find myself watching (for the LAST time) yet another pale and lifeless Jerry Warren.......action movie - fasten your seat-belt's everyone, the excitement will be historically epic.Here's the general set of events: We start with an angry sea for the opening titles, followed by 4 minutes of underwater photography - fish and octopus's' mostly, which turns out to be part of a lecture on marine biology and diving bells, wasting no time were then off to a ship that has a diving bell and down they ( 2 guys 2 gals) go, the cable breaks, their sh** out of luck, or so they think, dawning SCUBA-gear they escape the bell and swim into a cave that somehow is filled with air instead of water, it's here where the movie is at its most boring and pointless, just 4 people farting around in a cave for the last 35 to 40 minutes of the movie. Expect to suffer through several long and dull scenes of people constantly talking about the lamest things, these horrendously tedious scenes equal up to absolutely nothing, however, they just might lull you to sleep - pity their audience. At the half-way point, this movie features one of the lamest cave-dwelling villains you'll ever see, complete with a flagrantly fake-looking beard, his very existence there is completely ludicrous. Who claim's he got there "the same way you did" - not likely, for such a misplaced simpleton. After a cave-in or two all 4 luckily escape the cave and scuba to another diving bell (John Caradine and his top-side team were looking for them) and live happily ever after. Pure dreck - at least this movie is fairly short, barely an hour. One gets the notion that they needed: 1 - a better director, 2 - a completely different cast, 3 - at least twice the budget, THEN this limp, so-called adventure film might have been something worth watching. My DVD copy of The Incredible Petrified World is part of a cheap collection called "The Best of the Worst". What does that tell you. The sound is bassy and muffled and the picture was equally hideous, with an overall very poorly preserved gray-scale and there's lots of scratches and speckling, plus the picture and sound "jumps" at least twice a minute. This cheap Jerry-Flick is simply a thing of pure wretchedness.Ultimately just a dismal, dismal, dismal excuse of an adventure film, by one of cinema's all-time least talented directors, Jerry Warren. *People stay away from this man's movies* Re-organizing your sock draw will provide you with more entertainment. If you're ever unfortunate enough to encounter this movie, alcohol would certainly improve the situation or at least help you get through it. I bet watching a static-filled, 12th generation VHS copy, dubbed in Portuguese, episode of My Little Pony would probably be less painful and less boring. Not that I've ever watched such a thing. No Bronie's here, thank you very much.

Four adventurers explore the depths of the ocean using the experimental diving bell designed by Dr. Millard Wyman (John Carradine). Something goes wrong and the bell plunges into the deep. Fortunately, the four people - two men and two women, conveniently - find a series of deep sea caverns nearby, ones in which there is apparently breathable air. While they try to make a go of things, they come across a stranger (Maurice Bernard), and he's a hilariously pop eyed, horny hermit with a memorably ridiculous looking "beard".Yeah, the movie fails to live up to its title, but people shouldn't watch productions this low rent and expect anything different. Truth be told, it's not as terrible as one would think given that the producer / director is schlockmeister Jerry Warren. It *is* supposedly filmed in actual caverns in Arizona, and it has some appealing B movie atmosphere. In terms of the plot devised by screenwriter John W. Steiner, it's fairly uneventful, even with such things happening as a volcanic eruption. The opening credits sequence, with shots of ocean waves crashing, is followed by under water footage accompanied by grave narration by Robert Carroll. It does get things off to a good start - relatively speaking, anyway. The octopus - shark title fight near the beginning is interesting to watch.Carradine is good value as usual, and thankfully he's hearty without being overly theatrical. He's the best actor in a mostly nondescript cast, even though it includes such familiar faces as Robert Clarke ("The Man from Planet X") and Phyllis Coates (Lois Lane on 'Adventures of Superman'). Coates is required to play a character who is bitchy for no discernible reason. Sheila Noonan is lovely as Lauri; Allen Windsor, George Skaff, and Lloyd Nelson (the latter two having also been in Warrens' "Man-Beast") fill out other supporting roles.Mostly agreeable, and good for some laughs. Only die hard lovers of cruddy B movies need apply.Five out of 10.

Renowned designer John Carradine's deep sea diving expedition goes awry when the bell containing four intrepid adventurers (Clarke, Coates, Noonan and Windsor) capsizes into a prehistoric labyrinth of caverns deeper than anything in living memory. The four weary travellers discover an elderly man (Bernard with a ridiculous stick-on beard), allegedly a shipwrecked sailor whose leering gaze at the first women he's seen in fourteen years gets a little too creepy for comfort. They set about finding a way out, but discover an inland volcano is blocking their path to freedom.Some classic corny dialogue includes my personal favourite between Coates and Noonan which goes something like "I was hoping we could help each other out" to which Coates replies sarcastically "you don't need any help and neither do I, especially while there are two men about". What is it they're talking about exactly? There's also the penultimate moment where one of the divers runs out of air "how long's he been without air?" "Only a few minutes" "I've got some coffee" "There, he's coming around now". Tremendous stuff.Carradine is professional and Clarke stoic to the last, while former "Lois Lane" Coates perfects the woman scorned. George Skaff is a recognisable face (mainly from the 70's) and then you can't easily dismiss Maurice Bernard making faces as the old man from the cave. Throw in a half-dozen miniatures, an octopus versus shark contest, a great montage scene and a Nescafe moment and you've got a certified, 63 minute turkey.

The Incredible Petrified World is a place where four undersea explorers find themselves when their diving bell cable snaps and the bell is dragged into an undersea cavern which is lit by phosphorous and the pressure is tolerable. What to do the four which consist of Robert Clarke, Phyllis Coates, Allen Windsor and Sheila Noonan, but make the best of it and look for a way out. Fresh air is coming in from somewhere.It turns out they're not alone, there's 3/4 crazy hermit down there played by Maurice Bernard who has plans, especially for Coates. Not that he would want her for long because the former Lois Lane from Superman is acting like a real diva.Getting first billing in this film is John Carradine and the producers and Carradine missed a bet here. Carradine who with his classical stage training enlivened many a ghastly bad horror film with that fabulous speaking voice should have played the hermit. He has a few scenes as the inventor of the diving bell in which the four were exploring in. By not doing that casting, The Incredible Petrified World was left just crashingly boring instead of being camp.