Stonados (2013)

Pretty Good

Did you people see the same film I saw?

A different way of telling a story

By the time the dramatic fireworks start popping off, each one feels earned.

After the surprise success of Asylum's SHARKNADO, the current trend for these B-movie disaster/monster combos seems to be tornadoes mixed with something else. STONADOS has to be one of the silliest of these ideas, as it's a film where tornadoes are mixed with stones due to some ancient prophecy or some such. It's all nonsense anyway, because tons of people are killed when tornadoes lift debris off the ground and chuck it at them, so why bother with this whole stone angle?Needless to say that this SyFy Channel production is pretty much devoid of any kind of originality or sense. It stars B-movie stalwart Sebastian Spence (CRASH SITE: A FAMILY IN DANGER) as a journalist who makes it his job to chase storms; inevitably he teams up with the usual group of officials/scientists/investigators to try to track down the menace before too many people are killed. William B. Davis (BEHEMOTH) also shows up as an old timer with a budgie in one of the film's many random sub-plots.STONADOS is a mish-mash of disaster staples, all of them played out enthusiastically, if without much in the way of skill or discernible talent on the part of those involved. The CGI effects aren't quite bottom of the barrel stuff here, but they're still a far cry from those in THE AVENGERS, for instance. STONADOS is very much par for the course for this sub-genre.

Okay, I have no idea what "Sharknado" is, but I looked it up and this movie technically came out before Sharknado, it was only held back from being released because of a problem going on in Boston (where this movie takes place), so now that that's out of the way and reviewers stop thinking that this movie is a rip-off, here's what I think of Stonados.Stonados isn't some major-motion picture spectacular box office hit, it's a Sy-Fy TV movie from Vancouver. It doesn't have the best script or dialogue. To be honest though, I really liked it. I'm so glad that Stonados didn't bring in the enviro-hippie propaganda garbage by saying that the disaster was caused by global warming and pollution. The story was interesting and the acting wasn't bad, in fact William B. Davis (playing the role of Ben the lighthouse keeper) is my favorite actor and I've seen him in other movies and as the Cigarette Smoking Man in The X-Files, he and every other actor in this movie did an excellent job, given what they had to work with. The soundtrack wasn't bad and the special effects were a little lame but not as bad as in Dark Storm (2006) or Chernobyl Diaries (2012). If there's any two disaster movies you want to avoid, it's those ones, not Stonados.I do have to point out one thing; the intro scene is HILARIOUS! The tour guide lady getting sucked up into the tornado and the hysterical screaming of the old man standing next to her wasn't meant to be funny, but I ended up laughing, so did my little brother. Speaking of my little brother, he's 11, and this movie was totally safe for him to watch, so if you're looking for a horror movie for your kids with no nudity, no gore, etc. this one is a good choice. I think the worst word in it was "damn".

'Stonados' are appearing near Boston, i.e. tornadoes which are throwing stones (or exploding ice cubes). A science teacher and a TV journalist try to warn the population and develop a theory what's causing the storm. Two kids are meanwhile not staying home as daddy told them, but they are going to a stadium that will have to be evacuated before the storm arrives.The advantage of a disaster movie where they don't have to save the whole planet, but just one city, is that it can tell the story in a more personal way. This is basically a movie for the whole family about a guy who saves his two teenage kids. Nothing extraordinary, but watchable. The funniest moment is when the woman accuses the weather guy of a poor forecast and is immediately killed by a falling stone - clearly a meteorologist's vengeful fantasy. Miranda Frigon from 'Primeval: New World' was the only actor I recognized, she plays the police officer helping the scientist and falling in love with the journalist. Besides, I noticed one cliché that recently appeared a lot in disaster movies: if a camera operator tries to get close to the Dangerous Thing for a good shot, he is always killed. What is it with camera operators that script writers don't like? And where is the trade union when you need them?

Stonados (2013) ** 1/2 (out of 4) Silly but entertaining film from SyFy has Massacusettes coming under attack from tornadoes but these aren't your typical ones. No, these tornadoes have sucked up Plymouth Rock and now they are shooting large stones all over the state but even worse is that these stones blow up after a few seconds causing more damage. STONADOS is being called a rip-off of SHARKNADO but it should be noted that this film was made first and was set to air in April but due to the Boston Marathon bombing the station held its release. With that said, the film for the most part is pretty fun as director Jason Bourque manages to do a nice job at keeping the viewer entertained. I think it's always important not to let the action stop in a picture like this and the director doesn't let that happen and in fact it goes by pretty fast. The entire film has a very good pacing, which is a major plus and it also doesn't hurt that the entire thing isn't taken overly serious. The film offers up some better-than-you'd-expect performances from Paul Johansson, Thea Gill, Sebastian Spence, Jessica McLoud and William B. Davis. Another plus is that the special effects are slightly better-than-average but please don't go in expecting Oscar-winning work. The effects are all obviously fake but they're certainly much better than you normally see on SyFy. The one strange thing is that the gore level is at zero and I really don't recall there being a single drop of blood. I'm not saying this here is a bad thing but it's quite rare for one of these movies. Fans of the disaster genre should find enough here to keep them entertained just as long as they don't take it too serious or expect too much.