The House of Usher (1989)

Don't listen to the negative reviews

A lot of fun.

This is a must-see and one of the best documentaries - and films - of this year.

By the time the dramatic fireworks start popping off, each one feels earned.

This movie can hardly be considered to be an adaptation of Poe, because it barely has any touch points. They are built on the same base, but the construction is completely different. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but in this case it is. Ideas that changed Poe's story are not that bad, but the realization is lousy. The complete scenery screams FAKE, the story is inconsistent, acting mediocre, directing like in porn, and ending knocks the final nail in the coffin. If we simply cut the last scene and end movie with the one before, without any changes, we'll get an average '80s B horror ending. Why did they feel the need to additionally annoy viewers, already annoyed by wasting an hour and a half on a crappy movie, by adding terribly stupid, inconsistent, illogical and most of all redundant nonsense to the movie that already had a decent ending in the previous scene... I have a feeling that team, who spent their lives making porn exclusively, suddenly decided to make Poe adaptation. If that's true, good job guys, but if it's not the case, then please, change profession, or at least keep your hands off of classics.4/10

Ryan Usher (Rufus Swart) and his girlfriend Molly (Romy Windsor) head to his uncle's isolated estate after receiving a letter from him. Before arriving they crash their car when they see two ghost children on the road. Molly makes it to the home and is told Ryan has already been picked up and is being cared for. She then meets uncle Roderick (Oliver Reed), who assures her all is fine despite his reluctance to let her visit Ryan and the fact he won't let her leave. Yup, ol' Roderick is a perv and, after burying the still-alive Ryan, forces himself onto Molly to carry on the family line. Also, in a nod to THE OLD DARK HOUSE, a crazy brother named Walter (Donald Pleasence) lives up in the attic. As you can see, this barely has any connection to the Poe short story outside of a few events and character names. Filmed in South Africa, producer Towers at least got his monies worth with some nice looking sets. And leads Reed and Pleasence are total pros, although I suspect Reed enjoyed his moments feeling up the attractive Windsor (who was already accustomed to primordial beasts as she just survived HOWLING IV). Director Alan Birkinshaw can't be bothered with things like suspense or terror though. He does throw in a few gore scenes for good measure. Towers' two other Poe "adaptations" were MASQUE OF THE RED DEATH (1989; with Frank Stallone and Herbert Lom!) and BURIED ALIVE (1990).

Comment title paraphrases French & Saunders' skit on the 'The House of Elliot'. But here, it's application is unquestionably adroit.A rare directorial effort from the man responsible for 1978's video-nasty-that-never-was, 'Killer's Moon', produced by soft-porn Eurotrash (ie TRASH, as in rubbish, junk) magnate Harry Alan Towers.A slightly modernised version of Poe's Gothic saga; due to the complete technical incompetence of the above pair all this has to offer, in the way of thrills, is shaking furniture and fires. Pleasance jobs as the 'sinister' butler, which is at least a plot twist that affords him the opportunity to do something interestingly nasty (an off-screen incident involving an in-subservient maid's hand, and a meat mincer).An experience akin to scraping the bottom of the proverbial barrel - only, from beneath.

Harry ALan Towers' produced this, another remake of Poe's classic tale. Oliver Reed does a lot of whispering and Donald Pleasence runs around a lot with his chainsaw. Not really a very good film but worth a look for it's two stars, who are again lumbered with a none too bright script.The youngsters Rufus Swart and Romy Windsor are positively dire, but scenes like a hungry rat being placed on a man's privates are quite fun to watch.