Jersey Shore Massacre (2014)

Plenty to Like, Plenty to Dislike

I think this is a new genre that they're all sort of working their way through it and haven't got all the kinks worked out yet but it's a genre that works for me.

This is a small, humorous movie in some ways, but it has a huge heart. What a nice experience.

An old-fashioned movie made with new-fashioned finesse.

Guidos and guidettes meet their gory end, but not before they try to smash after fist pumping at the club. Yeah buddy! From the maker of Girls Gone Dead, Paul Tarnopol teams up with Jwoww Productions for the latest addition to the B-movie horror genre to give audiences Jersey Shore Massacre.A group of girl friends head down the shore for a fun-filled Jersey staycation. When a mistake with their reservation causes their shore house to get snagged, they must venture away from Seaside Heights to a family member's secluded home in the boonies – also known as the Pine Barrens. The guidettes don't let that stop them, they head back to the club and try to find some nice juice-heads. These DTF bimbos find a group of GTL-ed jerks, go back to the house to get into the jacuzzi, but instead are hunted to bloody and gruesome deaths by a deranged killer stalking them.Jersey Shore Massacre amps up and satirizes Jersey stereotypes just as much as you would expect from this B-movie. The hair, outfits and exchanges between characters, named and parodied off RHONJ, are stupid ridiculous. Interestingly the film tries to be authentic while being absurd by accurately retaining locational vernacular in the dialogue and filming in New Jersey. And with so many Italian actors and actresses cast in Jersey Shore Massacre it makes the opening credits feel like an immigration record from Ellis Island.All for heavy handed outrageousness – the film starts off strongly. Momentarily Tarnopol's Jersey Shore Massacre is like witnessing the secret and dark fantasy realized – the Jersey Shore cast bludgeoned and dead (joking of course). Preposterously idiotic, but sufficiently better acted than most B-movies thanks to the two female leads portrayed by Angelica Boccello and Danielle Dallacco, Jersey Shore Massacre can't help but make you laugh from the stupidity of the conversations between the characters.Unfortunately, the novelty of Jersey Shore Massacre fades quickly and interest wanes as it takes almost an hour for the film to switch from Jersey Shore knock off to horror flick. When the horror does get started it is excessively gory and bloody without the campy funny deaths wanted. It takes finesse to be a comedy pretending to be a horror and Jersey Shore Massacre is missing that magical balance.For more FULL reviews of recent releases, check out our website!

First off, you can see that it is someone without much experience trying to produce a low budget movie. The acting, if you can call it that is pathetic. I would venture to say, the producer had her friends get together and attempt to make this poor attempt at a horror movie. The intro didn't seem to have anything to do with the rest of the film, usually there is something that relates to what is coming up. This intro made it seem as though there was going to be another direction for the film to take. They tried to make a Mafia film, then turn it into a Friday the thirteenth sort of horror flick, with a bunch of no talent fairly unattractive New Jersey girls. Later we meet the just as dumb Jersey boys that are in the film, and sadly their attempt at acting is probably worse than that of the girls. Not all people from NJ, are complete idiots and talk like they only made it as far as the second grade. The plot was ridiculous, and to top it off you have Ron Jeremy as the only (Famous) lol, actor in the film. DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME with this piece of junk.

To start I would like to say proudly I have never watched the Jersey Shore TV series I am not into that kind of TV at all. Again as I have said in other reviews I like B movies and get teased about it. The movie was a good slasher movie with five bimbos and six bimbets it made for a good comedy horror movie. After watching Bunnyman last night I would give it a 10 in comparison but wait it wasn't that good. It was entertaining the actors played their dumb ass parts well the script was good the location was good the slashing was good. It was just what I expected from the title of the movie. Even the movie they watched in the movie worked well. There is lots of blood, boobs and partying what more could I ask for from this format. As far as others saying the actors were obnoxious they were supposed to be and did it well. The cop shooting one of the good guys with no hands then tries to plant a gun on him HA HA HA I love this stuff. The only part that did not work for me was near the end the last girl standing uses her hairspray and a lighter to blast the bad guy with long hair and a beard he dunks his head in a barrel of water after being on fire for a minute or so but in the next scene he looks only as bad as he did before the burning, still with all his hair and beard in tack. He should have looked like the Bunnyman without his bunny head, they could have used this to make him even scarier. But no big deal I still enjoyed the movie quite a bit it is listed as a comedy horror and that's what it is like it or leave it. Some times I wonder why people who give these movies a very poor rating even watch them to start with. I got what I thought going in out of this movie and don't feel like I wasted my time. I gave it a 5 but it was probably a 4.5.

The movie was good as far as any slasher movie goes. It is a horror/ comedy spoof/goof about girls that plan a trip to the Jersey Shore and things do not go as they planned. They meet some obnoxious guys and one by one they meet their demise. There were some very funny moments......especially a movie within a movie (Fat Camp massacre- hysterical). There is a ton of blood and gore!!! Lots of boobs!! I don't want to give much away but there are some unusual ways the killer chooses their deaths. If you are a Howard Stern fan there are some very funny scenes starring Sal Governale and Richard Christy. It is a silly, campy, a do not take too seriously bloodbath definitely worth watching.