Miami Connection (1987)

The Worst Film Ever

A lot of fun.

It's complicated... I really like the directing, acting and writing but, there are issues with the way it's shot that I just can't deny. As much as I love the storytelling and the fantastic performance but, there are also certain scenes that didn't need to exist.

Blistering performances.

The best worst movie ive seen not much else to be said really low budget film fantastic soundtrack and cool 80s vibe.

Here's my simple and short plot summary – A group of dorky Taekwondo practitioners, who also happen to be college roommates and bandmates, find themselves doing battle with a group of motorcycle riding drug dealers, who also just happen to be expert martial artists. Miami Connection (not sure why it's called Miami Connection – most of it is set in Orlando) is a real stinker. Just look at that plot. The story is beyond ridiculous. It's actually more stupid than it sounds – singing college-going ninjas battling drug lords – yeah, right. Words fail me when trying to describe the ineptitude on display. The acting and direction are abysmal. Why am I not surprised to discover that almost no one involved with Miami Connection has any other credits on their resume? The music will annoy you long after the film ends. The song about friendship reminded me of something straight out of an ABC After School Special. It's an earworm that keeps on giving. Finally, the fight choreography is surprisingly bad. I say "surprisingly" because it's obvious that Y.K. Kim is actually a solid martial artist. Unfortunately, it doesn't translate well to the screen.So, if Miami Connection is as bad as I say, why the 5/10 rating? Well, despite the plethora of problems, this movie is still entertaining. It may be entertaining for all the wrong reasons, but it's still entertaining. I honestly laughed out loud several times. I watch movies for entertainment and I got a fair amount of entertainment out of Miami Connection. If you "enjoy" bad movies, this one should not be missed.

Miami Connection (1987): Dir: Woo-sang Park, Y.K. Kim / Cast: Y.K. Kim, Vincent Hirsch, Joseph Diamand, Maurice Smith, Angelo Janotti: Martial arts embarrassment that should bring shame to anyone practicing it. Here we have martial arts, ninjas and a rock band. The results is a band that sucks ass and ninjas that look like they just emerged from a horrible costume accident. And let's not get started about the bad dubbing. The plot basically boils down to a group of friends who form a band but while they aren't making the world's sh*ttiest music they are busy kicking the living sh*t out of morons whose job is to be laughably threatening, wear stupid clothes highlighted by earrings that draw attention, and talk in a way that leaves more reasons outside the plot to kick their asses. Y.K. Kim not only has a poorly dubbed speaking role in this garbage but he also shares blame with Woo-sang Park for directing. What they conjure up has less ambition than the average commercial selling shampoo products. This film is hailed a cult film by those that regrettably discover it. What they should do is bury it in a mine field somewhere in hopes that it meets a nasty end. This is a pointless charade of bad acting and special effects that are on par with a third grade art student. Forget Miami. The only connection that this film should be met with is the receiving blow of a baseball bat. Score: 0 / 10

I had the suspicion that the lead actor YK Kim, who also directed the film (uncredited) and basically backed the making of the film, wasn't a professional in the movie industry, and I was right. He was a Tae-kwon-do instructor, apparently (according to here on IMDb) very popular in Orlando (though the movie is shot there and Miami) and there's even a point in the middle of this movie where everything just stops - whatever there was in the story that one could follow, if barely - and we see a demonstration of his skills. And I don't mean in a fight, I mean with him and John, played by Vincent Hirsch, demonstrating their skills in like practice mode. Not that there still isn't some requisite slow-motion cinematography of course, and (as if anticipating Zack Snyder by 20 years) sometimes going into slow-motion just briefly in a shot, and then going back to regular speed. Because you got to see that foot grab on to a dude's nose! Miami Connection is some silly stuff, but done in the 1980's, and the movie never lets you forget it. Despite Kim most likely being more into the fights than the actual filming or acting, he did know to get some production designers and just, you know, people off the streets from Florida at the time to get that 80's FEEL. The hair is there, the clothes, the music... good lord the music. There's a moment when one of the bands is playing on stage - not the 'friendship' one, the 'Against the Ninja' song with the girl singing, and I swear if you look around the room it's not smoke going up around the air, it's cocaine. It's somehow made the room smoky.There is a plot involving coke deals, and rock-n-roll ninjas, and bikers at some point, and other ninjas who looks like a lift from every other ninja movie ever made (with the fleet of black-suited ninjas with the white-suited master - because, you know, camoflauge), and characters who you kind of see some relationship going on, and then the one black guy will get a letter and pour out a monologue about his parental troubles and... plot? Perhaps it's so simple but it goes to show that the filmmaking muddies it all up. Far as I can gather is this: the motorcycle ninjas are the bad guys, smuggling in drugs, and the rock band Dragon Sound (haha) is tired of it, and their master (played by Kim) is going to take it to them and stop what they're doing for good.The French Connection this certainly is not. And if you're by chance going into it thinking it'll be any good, you will be mistaken; this 7/10 rating is in large part due to the guilty pleasure factor. Actually, that's not true in that I don't feel much guilt in laughing about this movie, and staring at times in slack-jawed disbelief at the ineptitude of things like audio dubbing of lines (it's so bad it makes The Room look professional), and the moments when in the fights (and those make up most of the running time) things just get ridiculous. Watch when any time super-violence gets into the mix, anything to do with blood and gore, and the filmmakers don't skimp on that, not in the least.But why it's so pleasurable is that there's a kind of innocence to the whole enterprise. This Tae-kwon do master just wanted to expand his horizons and try something different, and somehow with his collaborators - most of them as inept as he at making movies, but passionate about martial arts and, you know, all things 80's and wussy rock & roll (seriously, these songs, the Ninja Turtles do a better job in Coming out of Our Shells). It's bad, but you don't feel bad watching it, and with a bunch of friends at home, or with the right crowd in a theater, I'm sure it's a blast. Oh, and watch for any LONG montages, including one on a beach where they're just driving along, and they cut to a shot of a couple supposedly meant to be still on the beach... after the tide's come in!